Confused About Food? Here’s a Simple Way to Make Eating Easier

I was standing in the beverage aisle at Costco—half out of patience, half out of hope—searching for my usual sparkling water. Not because it’s magic or detoxifying or anything ridiculous like that. I just like the fizz. It breaks up the flat water monotony. But if I drink too much, it gives me GERD. So I’m picky.

Anyway, I hadn’t seen it in weeks. I was scanning the shelves like a hawk, when a woman I knew—a local restaurant owner—walked by. I asked if she’d seen it in stock somewhere else.

Before I could finish, she spotted the brand I’d brought from home and said:

“Oh my god, that one? That stuff is TERRIBLE for you. I’d never drink that. It’s so highly mineralized—it’s the worst one.”

And I just stood there, blinking. I wasn’t even buying it. But somehow, I was now under nutritional cross-examination for a bottle of fizzy water.

That moment? It perfectly sums up what women like us are up against.

Everyone has an opinion. Everyone wants to tell you what’s good, what’s bad, what you should eat, and what will kill you slowly from the inside out.

And here you are, just trying to make it through your grocery list without feeling like a failure.

If you’ve ever wondered, what is healthy eating anyway? Or felt guilty because the thing you like is suddenly “bad” again, welcome. You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you, and you’re not lazy. You’re just stuck in a food culture that thrives on guilt, rules, and one-size-fits-no-one advice.

And that’s exactly what we’re going to unpack here.

Because the question “Is this healthy?” sounds helpful—but it’s actually keeping you stuck.

Let’s talk about what no one’s telling you. And more importantly—what to do instead.

The Real Problem: Why You Keep Asking “Is This Good or Bad?”

Let’s just name it: You want to do the “right” thing.

You want to feel good in your body. You want energy. You want to be able to button your jeans without performing a silent prayer ritual every morning.

And you want someone – anyone – to just tell you what to eat so you can stop second-guessing every single bite.

That’s not weird. That’s survival.

We’ve been trained to divide everything into two tidy categories: good vs bad foods.

Broccoli = good.
Cookies = bad.
Chicken breast = clean.
Chips = toxic garbage.

You’ve heard it from diet books, your sister-in-law who sells supplements, that one annoying coworker who meal-preps like it’s a competitive sport. It’s everywhere.

I fell into this trap too. Years ago, I had a rule that I could only eat bread if I was out at a restaurant. Not at home. Not in my own kitchen. I had this whole twisted logic that if someone else served it, it was more “worth it.” Which is hilarious now, but at the time? It felt like control. Like I was winning.

I wasn’t winning.

Because here’s the problem: when you treat food like a moral test, you always end up failing.

You either eat the “healthy” thing and still feel unsatisfied, or you eat the “bad” thing and spiral into guilt, shame, and the promise to “be better” tomorrow.

And the worst part is that you stop trusting yourself.
You stop listening to your body.
You outsource all your choices to someone else’s idea of what you should be doing.

That’s why clean eating rules and black-and-white thinking don’t work long term. They keep you anxious. Rigid. And weirdly rebellious.

So if you’ve ever googled “healthy vs unhealthy foods” and walked away more confused than when you started, you’re not alone.

This isn’t about discipline. It’s about how you were taught to think about food in the first place.

And that’s what we’re going to fix.

The Shift: Health Isn’t Black and White—It’s a Spectrum

Let’s throw out the food rulebook for a second and try something wild.

What if food isn’t good or bad?

What if it’s just… food?

Now, before your brain short-circuits from years of diet culture downloads, let me explain.

Food exists on a spectrum. It’s not two piles labeled “safe” and “shameful.” There’s a middle. There’s context. And what’s “healthy” depends on the full picture—not just what’s on your plate in one moment.

Here’s an example I love to use with clients: carbs.

Carbs get demonized constantly—especially if you’re a woman over 40. (Like somehow, aging automatically means you need to cancel bread forever?) But carbs aren’t one thing. They’re a category.

A bowl of spinach? That’s a carb. So is broccoli. So is a Twinkie.

Would anyone say broccoli is the same as a Twinkie? Of course not.

Now picture a line.

On one end, you’ve got those nutrient-dense foods—leafy greens, beans, sweet potatoes.
On the other end, you’ve got the more processed stuff—pastries, soda, chips.

Most foods live somewhere in between.

Even those “healthy” foods can change based on your body. I have a friend with a heart condition who can’t eat kale. Too much vitamin K. For her, that superfood? Dangerous.

So the next time you ask, what should I eat to be healthy?, the real answer is:
What feels good to you?
What supports your energy, digestion, and mood?
What actually fits your life?

There’s no one-size-fits-all healthy food guide—especially not for women in midlife. Our needs shift. Our bodies shift, and as a result, our habits should shift too.

And when you stop obsessing over the label and start paying attention to how food makes you feel, everything starts to change.

Why You Think You Can’t Be Trusted with a Bag of Chips

If you’ve ever said, “Moderation doesn’t work for me”—I get it.

I used to say that too. I thought I had an “off switch” that was permanently broken. Give me a sleeve of Thin Mints and suddenly I was in a blackout. Like, who ate all these? Oh… right.

And because I couldn’t be moderate, I figured the only solution was restriction. If I couldn’t trust myself, I needed rules. Lots of them.

No sweets in the house.
No eating after 7 p.m.
No carbs unless I worked out first.

But here’s what I’ve learned—both personally and through years of coaching women just like you:

The issue isn’t that you can’t moderate.
It’s that you’ve never been taught how.

You were taught to follow plans. Points. Apps. Diets. Clean eating checklists.
You weren’t taught how to build self-trust with food.

That’s the missing piece.

So of course intuitive eating feels impossible. You’re trying to do something intuitive… after decades of being told your instincts can’t be trusted.

This isn’t your fault.

And you don’t need more willpower.
You need practice.

Moderation isn’t about being good.
It’s about making one choice… then another… without going into a shame spiral.

And the more often you let yourself choose without punishing yourself, the more trust you build.

So if you’ve been swinging between “on track” and “screw it,” just know: there’s a better way.
It’s not a rigid plan.
It’s a relationship—with your body, your values, and your real life.

Finally, a Way to Eat That Doesn’t Make You Feel Like a Failure

Okay, so if food isn’t good or bad… and rules don’t work… how the heck do you make decisions?

You need a framework. Something that’s flexible. Personal. And shame-free.

This is what I teach my clients: the 3-bucket food system.

It’s not a diet, or another plan to follow. It’s just a way to organize your choices so you don’t have to overthink every meal.

Here’s how it works:

Bucket 1: Most of the time foods
These are the things that help you feel like a functioning human. They support your energy, digestion, sleep, and mood. For me? That’s stuff like eggs, cooked greens, lentils, and chicken. I can eat them often without feeling gross, bloated, or hangry an hour later.

Bucket 2: Some of the time foods
This is where your joy lives. Chips. A glass of wine. That weird butter-stuffed date recipe from Instagram. These foods still matter—but they’re not everyday things. Think of this as the 10–15% bucket. Foods that bring fun or comfort, but don’t carry the whole load.

Bucket 3: Rarely or never foods
These are the ones that no longer work for your body or your life. Not because they’re evil, but because you just don’t want them anymore. For me, soda used to be a daily thing. Now? I honestly don’t even like the taste. It naturally fell into the “meh” category.

This system helps you create simple eating habits for better health—ones that adjust with you over time.

It’s healthy eating made simple, without the drama.
You decide what belongs in each bucket based on how you feel.
No guilt. No gold stars. Just clarity.

And the best part?
Your buckets will change. Just like you.

So… What Is Healthy, Really?

If you’re still asking “what is healthy eating?”—here’s the real answer:

It depends.
On your body.
Your life.
And what you care about.

There is no universal food list that magically works for every woman, every day, forever.

Intuitive eating for beginners starts with one key shift: stop asking if a food is “allowed” and start asking, does this support me right now?

That’s it.

You don’t have to earn your meals or justify eating a brownie. You just have to trust yourself around food—one choice at a time.

And some days, the most nourishing option will be a kale salad.
Other days, it might be a sandwich, a nap, or a damn good cookie.

None of those are wrong.

They’re just yours to choose.

Your Next Step: Make Food Feel Simpler (and Saner)

If you’re tired of obsessing over every bite and want a calmer, more doable way forward—start with your own 3 buckets.

It’s one of the easy ways to eat better without falling into another cycle of guilt and overcorrection.

And if you want help figuring out your “most of the time” foods and building strong daily food habits, I’ve got you.

Grab my free guide: The 8 Basic Habits Healthy People Do.

It’s not a diet. It’s a real-life roadmap to feeling better—physically and emotionally—one small choice at a time.