Done with Dieting Episode #134: How to Talk to Your Partner About Starting Coaching

Life and health coaching is an investment. And investing time or money isn’t a decision that can always be made alone. You’ve got your partner and maybe a family to consult. They might not always be on board with the adventures that you bring to the table.

The good news is that life and health coaching is one of those investments that can pay off big time. It can create a financial return on investment for your health mindset shifts and a renewed sense of purpose and confidence that will not only benefit you but your family as well, and your relationships for life.

Look, I get it.

In today’s podcast, I’m addressing the topic and how to talk to your partner about life and health coaching with me. I’m talking about why many women avoid it altogether, how to approach it, and I’ve outlined a few of the most common questions that you might get about hiring me as your coach. So that you can communicate effectively with those who you love, why this step is so important to you.

Let’s get started.

You are listening to the done with dieting podcast. The podcast for women who are experiencing perimenopause and menopause symptoms and want to feel better – like they did before their body started changing.

I am your host, Elizabeth Sherman, Master Certified health, and life coach for women in menopause and peri menopause. I’ve helped thousands of women manage their symptoms, get off the diet roller coaster, and change their relationship with food, exercise, and stop fighting with their bodies. And I do it through a feminist lens – which means exploring how we are socialized as young women has a huge impact on our current relationship with food & exercise, our bodies, health, and ourselves.

What’s different about this podcast is that we’re exploring your health from all sides, not just food and exercise. We also address the mindset shifts that will make you happier and lead to better health.

My goal in this podcast is to illustrate that the reason diets don’t work long term is because your health doesn’t exist in a silo. Your health and your weight are a symptom of the OTHER parts of your life and how you show up. I want to help you to feel good and live the life you desire from a 360 degree approach: body, mind, and soul.

Welcome. Let’s get started.

 

Hey everyone, welcome to episode number 134 of the Done With Dieting Podcast. I am Elizabeth Sherman, your host. And today, we are diving into a topic that hits close to home for many of you.

Have you ever found yourself wanting to start a life-changing journey, but then felt held back by potential objections from your partner? Maybe you’ve been considering health and life coaching, but you’re hesitating to schedule that initial call. It’s a common situation, especially for women in midlife who’ve spent a lifetime prioritizing others.

Today, we are going to explore how you can approach this conversation with your partner and why it’s essential to do so.

Am I biased? Absolutely.

If coaching with me, either in private or group is right for you, then I want you to sign up because I know it can change not only your health and life forever, but it can also help you with so many other aspects that lead to living the life that you truly want. I know that coaching with me doesn’t only help you achieve your goals, but it’s also a ripple effect.

It will impact every other area of your life. But I also want you to feel completely supported by the people who matter most. So, grab some earphones and let’s work through some of the common questions together.

Now, remember, embarking on this journey isn’t just about managing your health. It’s also about a holistic approach to your wellbeing, taking control of your thoughts and behaviors, and truly prioritizing yourself.

We’re going to dive in into some of the common obstacles that might be holding you back, such as worrying about your partner’s reactions or feeling like you need to ask for permission.

We’ll also touch on why you might be viewing this potential coaching journey as a subtraction from your life that you’re taking away from your family, rather than seeing it as the addition to your family that it truly is. It’s an enhancement.

And don’t worry, this isn’t about confronting or combating objections. It’s about being on the same side as a team and understanding, addressing, and resolving concerns. By the end of this episode, I hope you’ll feel empowered to have an open, honest conversation about your desires and needs with your partner.

So, if you’ve been shying away from taking that first step because of all the potential hurdles, this episode is for you. You’re going to want to hear about what might be holding your back, how to overcome it, and how coaching can genuinely benefit you and your relationships.

So, let’s start out by addressing the question. Why do so many women hesitate to ask for what they want and express their needs and wants to their partners? We don’t do that.

First, be aware that this hesitation is not your fault and you’re not alone. Society and cultural norms have taught us as women, especially for women in midlife, to prioritize the needs of others.

We are so used to doing for others, our family or our careers before we take care of ourselves. Oxygen mask analogy, anyone? Right?

Interestingly, our culture tends to trivialize what’s important to women, while men’s interests are considered worthy of time and attention. And yes, financial investment.

We make fun of things that are women based, like pumpkin spice lattes, chick flicks. They’re considered trivial over action movies. Girly cocktails over beer or whiskey. And even salads over burgers or pizza. Salads are considered like women’s food. Where burgers and pizza are manly, right? Steak and potatoes.

That same thought process spills over into everything that we do, including how we spend our time.

Now, here’s something so interesting. My husband will sweep outside, yet he cannot be bothered to sweep the kitchen floor. I don’t get it. This is one of the things that we compartmentalize, that this is manly, and this is womanly. Right? And womanly is bad.

And then, of course, there’s the inequity that we see in sports, women’s hockey, baseball, and so on. Right?

Now, I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with the things that men traditionally invest in. Hobbies like golf, or cars, or even the latest tech gadgets. However, it’s crucial to understand that our health and wellbeing are just as important. Because if it’s important to you, if it’s something that you want, then you should have it.

So, let’s tackle this head on.

The dieting industry has its flaws, and you may feel hesitant about putting money into another health initiative. Especially, when dieting may have let you down in the past. But here’s the thing, coaching isn’t dieting.

Coaching with me isn’t dieting. It’s about learning to prioritize yourself. It’s about standing up for your needs in relationships, managing your career, and balancing all the demands of your life.

Our journey together is about unraveling these societal and self-imposed pressures. It’s about understanding where this self-doubt originates, and how to free ourselves from these constraints.

The goal? To transform beliefs and habits that no longer serve you. So that you can lead a life that’s healthier, happier, and more fulfilled. your health is important and your needs matter, and coaching is an investment that helps you to realize that. An investment not only in your physical health, but in your emotional health, your relationships, your career, and ultimately your entire life.

Shifting gears, a little bit. Let’s talk about something essential. And that is reframing our beliefs about our partners. So, one of the biggest hurdles in these discussions isn’t necessarily what our partners think, but what we believe they think. We think we know our partners so well, and you probably do.

But sometimes your partner might surprise you. It’s critical to acknowledge how much your partner loves you and they really want what’s best for you. Yeah, they might have concerns. But it’s essential to remember that these concerns usually stem from a place of love and protection.

For most of my clients, your partner has seen you struggle. They’ve witnessed the ups and downs, that dieting creates, the disappointments, and the frustrations. And because they love and care for you, they do not want to see you go through that again.

This protective instinct can be strong, particularly in the face of the diet industry which let’s be honest, hasn’t always had our best interests at heart. So, it’s crucial to remember that if they express reservations, it’s often not about lack of support or an unwillingness to invest in your health.

Instead, it’s about not wanting to see you get hurt or disappointed again. And so, I really feel like I need to reiterate that if you want to work with me either privately or within the group, again, coaching with me is not another diet. It’s not a quick fix or a one size fits all program.

It’s a personalized journey that aims to address the root of your health and wellbeing issues. Not just the symptoms, it’s about empowerment. Learning to stand up for yourself and making choices that align with your needs and values.

So, when discussing your desire to start coaching with your partner, frame it in these terms. Explain that this isn’t just another diet, but an investment in not only your long-term health and happiness, but the entire family’s health and happiness. Because health generally, starts with the woman in the family. Your partner wants you to be happy, fulfilled, and healthy. They want you to live a long and vibrant life.

So next, I’d like to introduce you to a few practical steps on setting yourself up for success when having this conversation with your partner.

First and foremost, you want to pick the right time and place. Choose a quiet, comfortable spot where you won’t be disturbed. And ensure that you have time to talk this through properly. When expressing your needs, be as clear as possible. Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings and why you want this.

It’s totally okay to get vulnerable and share how you think about your body. Your partner might not have been socialized as a woman. And so, as a result, they have no idea what women go through.

Articulate why you feel called to work with me, and what specific challenges you’re facing and how you believe I can assist you. Your feelings are 100% valid. And this conversation is the time to express them.

Now, anticipate potential concerns that your partner might have and address them proactively. This demonstrates that you’ve thought about their viewpoint, showing respect for their feelings. It’s also important to help your partner understand what a life and health coach does because they might not know.

I’m not here to control your life. But rather to provide strategies, tools, and professional guidance to help you improve your health and overall wellbeing. Presenting evidence like research or testimonials, which I have tons of, can also help your case. This can alleviate skepticism by showing the potential benefits and success stories of coaching.

It’s super important to involve your partner in the coaching process as much as they feel comfortable. This might mean sharing or giving them firsthand insight into the process and benefits.

Money matters. So, have a clear plan on how you’ll budget for the coaching costs. This reassures your partner that you’ve thought about it and thought through the financial aspect of this decision.

And finally, reassure your partner that seeking coaching doesn’t mean that you’re unhappy in your relationship or that you feel incapable. It’s a tool to enhance your health and wellbeing. And could potentially even improve your relationship.

The goal here is to have an open, honest conversation that respects both your partner’s feelings and your own needs. this coaching journey is about bettering your life. And that’s something that your partner likely wants for you too.

Moving forward, let’s discuss some questions that your partner might have and how you can confidently respond to them.

So, I have six. And number one is, it’s too expensive. So, here’s what you can say. Hey, look, I understand where you’re coming from, and I acknowledge that hiring a life and health coach is indeed an investment.

It’s true that there’s an upfront cost. However, let’s also consider the possible long-term savings and benefits.

When we think about midlife, it’s a time of significant change for many women, both physically and emotionally. This is a period where health needs often become more complex and require more attention.

Having professional guidance during this time can be invaluable in helping to navigate these changes. A coach provides more than just advice. She will help me in establishing healthier habits, regular exercise, improve nutrition, stress management, and more.

These changes can directly lead to a decrease in food expense as we switch to healthier, possibly home cooked meals, and potentially less dependency on costly medications going forward.

Moreover, by preventing or managing chronic diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, or blood pressure, we could significantly reduce medical bills in the future. The benefits of adopting a healthier lifestyle now could save us financially down the line.

Additionally, it’s not about the monetary aspect. The impact on quality of life is immeasurable. By taking care of health now, we’re investing in a happier and healthier retirement. And I believe that the benefits of coaching both immediate and future, outweigh the initial cost. This isn’t just an expense, it’s an investment in our long-term health and wellbeing.

So, can you see how something like it’s too expensive, you can get your partner on your side with that.

Now, number two is the objection of what if this course takes up all your time and there’s nothing left for me, or the family, or your real job. So, here’s what you can say instead.

Hey, I can understand your concern, that the time that I’ll spend with Elizabeth might take away from our time together. Your feelings are valid, and I appreciate you sharing that with me.

However, I want to assure you that the ultimate goal of this coaching is to enhance the quality of our life together, not take away from it. Yes, the sessions will require some time, but the lessons learned, and the habits developed could benefit our entire family.

With coaching, I’ll learn strategies to improve our health and wellbeing, which we can implement as a family. This could include healthier meal plans, better exercise habits, or stress management techniques. These changes can lead to more energy, less illness, and an overall healthier family life.

Moreover, part of what I hope to gain from coaching is an improved life planning and goal setting. This will help us to effectively plan our future together. Which in turn can make our time together more intentional and meaningful.

Don’t think of this as time being taken away, but as an investment in our shared future. The benefits of this coaching could potentially bring us even closer together as we navigate this journey together.

Number three. That’s a long commitment. Why does it need to be so long? Right? Now, here’s how you want to answer that.

Look, I totally understand your concerns about the duration of the coaching commitment. Yes, six months or a year does sound like a long time. But let’s consider why that timeframe might be beneficial.

Short-term diets often fail to deliver lasting results because they’re designed for ideal conditions. They usually don’t account for the ups and downs of life that inevitably get in the way. And as a result, as soon as these ideal conditions are disrupted, it becomes difficult to stick to the plan and the weight often comes back.

The length of this coaching program is intentionally designed for staying power and maintenance. It’s not just about achieving quick results, but about developing strategies and habits that can withstand life’s challenges.

The long-term nature of the program allows us to dive deeper into understanding my unique barriers, and it gives us time to test different strategies until we find what works best for me. It also gives us the space to address any setbacks along the way, instead of being caught off guard when the program ends.

With this coaching commitment, we’ll have the opportunity to learn how to maintain healthy habits, even when life gets in the way. This is something that is rarely taught in traditional diets or exercise programs. Yet, it’s crucial for long-term success.

So, while it’s a significant commitment, I believe it’s a necessary one for lasting change. We’re not just investing in a temporary solution, but in a healthier and more sustainable lifestyle for the long term.

Okay, let’s move on to number four. I just have a few more left.

Number four, is this program really going to deliver? And the answer to that is, I completely understand your concerns about the effectiveness of the program. It’s important for us to feel confident that we’re investing in something that will yield real results.

Elizabeth, the coach that I want to work with, has a stellar reputation in this field. She has numerous client testimonials that speak directly to the quality of her work. People who have worked with her, mention significant improvements in their physical health, emotional wellbeing, and overall life satisfaction.

Many also commend her personalized approach to coaching, which aligns with our need for a program that caters specifically to my circumstances and goals. Elizabeth emphasizes that she is completely hands-on throughout the coaching process.

She’s invested in ensuring that her clients are successful and that they derive real value from her program. She’s assured me that she works closely with each client to provide support, tools, and guidance that they need to achieve their health and life goals.

I hope this reassures you that this coaching program has a solid foundation, a successful track record, and is driven by a professional who sincerely invested in her client’s needs.

All right, moving on to number five.

So, number five is you’ve already invested in so many other programs, courses, and trainings. There are tons of downloads on the computer already that you’ve never even touched. So, how do you answer that one? Here’s, how.

I understand your concern, given my previous experiences with diets and exercise programs. It can be frustrating to invest time and money into something and not see the results that I’ve been hoping for.

What’s different about life and health coaching, especially with someone like Elizabeth, that it’s not a one size fits all program. It’s a personalized approach tailored to my unique circumstances and needs. Particularly, for women in midlife, like myself.

Traditional diet and exercise programs often focus heavily on what we should and shouldn’t do. Eat this, don’t eat that, exercise this way, et cetera. While these guidelines can be helpful, they don’t always consider the underlying reasons why we struggle to follow them.

Life and health coaching goes beyond the surface. It doesn’t just tell me what to do. It’s going to help me understand why I don’t do it. The coaching process digs deeper. Exploring factors like my mindset, motivation, lifestyle, and our personal values.

This will help me uncover the barriers that keep me from making healthier choices and enables me to create sustainable changes that are truly aligned with my needs and goals.

In addition, life and health coaching is holistic. It’s not just about diet and exercise, it’s about looking at every area of life. Physical health, mental health, relationships, career, personal development, and more. The objective is to create balance and wellness across all of these domains.

And by working with Elizabeth, I hope to develop a comprehensive understanding of my own health and wellbeing and gain the tools and strategies to manage them effectively. This isn’t another diet or exercise program. It’s a more holistic, personalized, and sustainable approach to health and life.

Remember, it’s essential to keep the conversation open and understanding. Be patient with your partner’s questions and answer them honestly and calmly. This is a journey that you’re embarking on together.

And so, number six, who is this Elizabeth Sherman person, anyway? Now, here’s how you can answer that one.

I totally understand your concern. Choosing to work with a life and health coach is a significant decision, and it’s important to feel secure about who you’re trusting with that process. It’s important for me to feel secure about who I’m entrusting with that process.

Elizabeth Sherman is an exceptional coach with a solid track record. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Why not take some time and explore and see firsthand, what she’s about.

Elizabeth hosts the Done With Dieting podcast where she dives into all sorts of topics around health, wellbeing, and personal growth. It’s a fantastic way to hear her voice, understand her philosophy, and see the impact that she has on women’s lives.

You can find it on most major podcast platforms. And you might just learn something yourself. Additionally, you can read through her social media channels. They are full of informative posts, insightful advice, and real conversations that she has with her community. You’ll quickly see that she’s passionate about what she does and genuinely cares about helping women lead healthier, happier lives.

Lastly, Elizabeth’s website showcases testimonials from clients who have seen transformational changes through their coaching journey with her. These are real people sharing their real experiences. And their stories are incredibly inspiring. It’s absolutely fair to ask the question and research before making a commitment.

And so, I invite you to check out these resources and I’m confident you’ll see why I believe so strongly in Elizabeth and the impact that she can make on our lives together.

So, that’s it.

As we draw this episode to a close, I’d love for us to take a moment to go over what we’ve explored together today. We kicked off by looking into why so many women find it challenging to voice their needs, examining societal pressures, and the ingrained habit of prioritizing others over ourselves.

Next, we shifted to our focus to reshaping the perceptions that we have about our partners, and emphasizing the love that they have for you, and their genuine wish for your happiness.

We dove into tips on how you can confidently approach your partner about your desire to start coaching. And we discussed the importance of timing, articulating your needs, addressing potential concerns, explaining the role of the coach, and presenting evidence of the benefits.

We also touched on inviting your partner to be part of the process, tackling financial aspects, and providing reassurance. The key here is to balance respecting your partner’s feelings while advocating for your own needs and wellbeing.

We also tackled those tricky questions that your partner might bring up. Whether it’s about the cost, the time commitment, concerns about effectiveness, past attempts with dieting and exercise programs, or the length of the coaching commitment. We got you covered with thoughtful and honest responses.

The recurring theme today is open communication and self-advocacy. You deserve to be heard, to be happy, and to be healthy. And sometimes that means making choices that benefit you first. Prioritizing your health isn’t selfish. It’s essential.

If you’re ready to take a stand for your health and tackle your midlife hormones, elevate your relationships, and strike a balance between caring for others and caring for yourself. I am here for you.

Let’s get on a consult call together and explore how life and health coaching can guide you through these transformations. Go to elizabethsherman.com/consult to schedule your call.

And to arm you with a comprehensive resource for having this conversation with your partner, I’ve put together a detailed PDF guide that encapsulates everything we’ve discussed today, and more.

This guide is a powerful tool to boost your confidence in discussing coaching with your partner. So, don’t wait another moment. Step into a healthier, more fulfilled life today.

Thanks for joining me today. That’s all I have for you. Have an amazing week, everyone. And I will see you next time. Bye-bye.

Hey, Thanks for listening. If the show resonates with you, and you have a friend, mother, sister or who you think would benefit, I’d love for you to share the podcast with them.

You can leave me a rating and review in Apple Podcasts, which helps me create an amazing experience for you,

AND it helps other women who are done with dieting and want to get off of the diet roller coaster to find it as well. See you next week.