Total Health in Midlife Episode #167: Strength in Seeking Help

Have you ever wondered why despite knowing what’s good for us, we hesitate to reach out? Or even why, when we have the support around us, we don’t take it.

In today’s episode, I’m unraveling a mystery that affects so many of us. I’ll explore the reasons behind our reluctance to seek support. I’ll be sharing real stories of women who broke through these barriers and how it transformed not just their health, but their entire lives.

So, if you’ve ever felt guilty, doubtful, or hesitant about asking for help with your health, this episode is a must listen. It’s time to change the narrative and empower ourselves.

Stay tuned because what you’ll learn today could be the key to unlocking a whole new level of health and happiness. Let’s get started.

Welcome to Total Health and Midlife, the podcast for women embracing the pivotal transformation from the daily grind to the dawn of a new chapter. I’m Elizabeth, your host and fellow traveler on this journey.

As a Life and Health Coach, I am intimately familiar with the changes and challenges we face during this stage. Shifting careers, changing relationships, our new bodies, and redefining goals and needs as we start to look to the future and ask, what do I want?

In this podcast, we’ll explore physical, mental, and emotional wellness, offering insights and strategies to achieve optimal health through these transformative years.

Yes, it’s totally possible.

Join me in this amazing journey of body, mind, and spirit, where we’re not just improving our health, but transforming our entire lives.

Hey everyone! Welcome back to another episode of the Total Health in Midlife podcast. I am Elizabeth, and today, we are tackling a topic that resonates with so many of us. And I hear it from my clients all the time.

Why we don’t ask for help? It’s not just about asking for help with our health goals, but also about the broader context of how we as women approach giving versus taking or receiving.

You know, we live in a world that often tells us as women that we should be able to do everything on our own. We’re taught the adage that it’s better to give than to receive. We’re nurtured to be the caregivers, the problem solvers, and often the silent bearers of all burdens.

This mindset seeps into everyday aspects of our lives, including how we manage our health. We think that we need to figure it all out ourselves. That asking for help is a sign of weakness, or worse, an admission of failure. And when it comes to investing money in our health, that hesitation multiplies.

Many of you have confided in me, expressing fears of judgment. Not necessarily from other people, although, that’s true as well. But from that tough inner mean girl within yourselves. What if I fail again? What will it say about me that I’m not doing it on my own? I needed to ask for help.

These are the echoes of self-doubt that stop us from taking that vital step towards better health. But here’s the thing, while we’re heavily invested emotionally, and we’ve poured so much of our time and energy into trying to figure things out. We often hold back from making a substantial financial investment in our health. It’s like the Starbucks effect.

We’re okay spending a little bit here and a little bit there but over time, that adds up. Yet, we would feel guilty or wrong investing all of that up front. It’s like we’re stuck at a crossroads knowing that the destination is out there. We can see it. But we’re unsure if we should pay the toll to get there.

Today’s episode is so close to my heart because I see so many incredible women just like you who are struggling with this dilemma. We’re going to explore why this reluctance exists, especially in the space of health investment. It’s not just about the money. It’s about what the money represents. Our values, our self-worth, and our belief in our ability to succeed.

So, I want you to consider this. What if asking for help and investing in your health was actually the strongest thing that you could do? What if it was the key to unlocking a version of yourself that’s healthier, that’s happier, and more fulfilled?

If you’ve ever felt hesitant to ask for help, or if you’ve questioned the wisdom of investing in your health, this episode is something that you need. Let’s dive into this together, and I promise by the end of our time today, you will view asking for help in a whole new light.

So, first, let’s dive into some real stories of women who stood exactly where you might be right now. With the same mindset at the crossroads of financial hesitation and the desire for better health.

I remember a client who came to me teetering on the edge of saying yes to our work together. Sarah was convinced that she couldn’t afford to work with me. She had this notion, like many of us do, that investing in her health was a luxury she just couldn’t justify. During our consult call, she kept reiterating, I just don’t have the money for this.

But as we talked more, it became apparent that not only did she really, really want to coach with me, but that it wasn’t about the actual dollars. Sarah actually had the means. What she lacked was the belief in herself. She was scared of failing again. After all, she had tried so many different diets and other programs before, and none of them had worked for her long term.

Taking this leap of faith, Sarah decided to invest in working with me. And you know what? Not only did she succeed, but she soared. She not only lost the weight that she had been struggling with for so many years, but more importantly, she gained confidence that she thought was lost.

She sent me pictures last summer, beaming in her first bikini since her kids were born. And I still get messages from her, sharing her latest triumphs. I love it. Sarah’s story isn’t just about finding the money. It’s about finding the courage to invest in yourself. To bet on your ability to succeed.

Another remarkable woman that I worked with was Emma. Emma struggled with a different aspect of financial hesitation. Emma felt that spending money on her health was taking away from her family. The guilt was completely overwhelming. She told me, every dollar that I spend on myself feels like a dollar that I’m taking from my kids.

But here’s what happened. As Emma worked through getting her health habits dialed in, not only did her health improve, but her family’s health improved alongside hers. Emma learned about nutrition, about balanced meals, and about setting a healthy example. Her children started eating better, and her husband, who had been on the brink of needing medication for high blood pressure, his numbers improved as well.

The real victory here is that Emma realized that investing in her health wasn’t just about her. It was an investment in her entire family’s future. The money that she spent saved them from potential medical bills and medications down the line. Her guilt transformed into pride as she recognized the ripple effect of her decision.

Emma’s journey teaches us that investing in our health is not selfish. Perhaps it might be the most selfless thing that we can do, not just for ourselves, but for everyone around us.

A common reason women hesitate to invest in health programs is a lack of belief in new methods or coaching. It’s perfectly understandable. It totally makes sense. If you’ve never experienced the transformative power of a well-structured health coaching program, skepticism is natural.

Many of you might think, how is this any different from what I’ve tried before? Or you might be wondering, how can coaching really help me when there are so many other methods that I’ve tried that have failed? These questions aren’t about the money, they’re about trust. Trust in the method, trust in the coach, and ultimately, trust in the possibility of change.

The hesitation is a protective mechanism, a way to guard against disappointment. But it can also be a barrier to discovering a path that could potentially lead to significant health breakthroughs. Another deep rooted reason for financial hesitation is past disappointments and failures.

Okay, so let’s be real with ourselves. Have you invested in diets, gym memberships, fitness gadgets only to find them gathering dust after a few weeks or months? These past experiences leave scars. They leave evidence. They create a story in our minds that says I failed before, so why would this time be any different?

But here’s the thing. Each of those past experiences, while they might feel like failures now are actually stepping stones. They’re part of your journey, your story, and they teach you what doesn’t work. Which is just as important as finding out what does.

The key is to not let those past experiences cloud your judgment or dampen your hope. It’s essential to understand that a holistic approach isn’t just another diet or fleeting fitness trend.

It’s about understanding and changing your relationship with food, your body, and your health. It’s about a personalized support, accountability, and developing a sustainable approach to health. This is not a one size fits all solution. It’s a journey tailored to you.

Lastly, feelings of guilt and selfishness will often play a significant role in why we hesitate to spend on our health. Many of us have been conditioned to put others needs before our own. To the extent that spending money on ourselves feels indulgent or irresponsible.

I should be spending this on my kids. Or there are more important things to worry about than my health. They’re common refrains that I hear all the time. This mindset, while it comes from a place of love and responsibility, can be detrimental to your health. It’s like the safety instructions on the airplane. You need to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.

Investing in your health is not selfish. It’s actually part of being a human. It’s about making sure that you’re at your best, not just for you but for everyone around you. Your health is not a luxury item, it’s a foundational aspect of your life.

By investing in it, you’re not taking away from your family or your responsibilities. You’re actually enhancing your ability to meet them with more energy, with more joy, with more happiness, with more fullness and presence. It’s about redefining guilt and recognizing that self-care isn’t just a right. It’s your responsibility to your body.

The way women are socialized to view money as compared to men has profound implications. Once, that I researched heavily when I was going through my Advanced Certification for Feminist Coaching. From a young age, men and women are often given very different scripts when it comes to financial matters.

Men are typically encouraged to focus on earning, investing, and growing wealth. They’re taught to take risks, to see money as a tool for expansion and opportunity. Women, on the other hand are often brought up with the messages about saving, budgeting, and being thrifty. The emphasis is more on conservation than growth.

We’re taught to view money as a finite resource that needs to be carefully managed, not something to be leveraged for greater gains. This upbringing leads to a cautious approach towards financial decisions. Especially, when it involves spending on something perceived as quote unquote non-essential like personal health and wellness.

These contrasting socializations result in men typically feeling more confident in their financial decisions. Believing that they have the skills to make and grow money. Women, conversely, often harbor doubts about their financial acumen. This lack of confidence can manifest in hesitation to invest in the areas that are crucial for personal development, like health and self-care.

Several myths around women’s financial decisions stem from this societal conditioning. One common myth is that women are inherently less capable of making sound financial decisions. This simply is not true. Research and real world evidence consistently show that women are just as capable. If not more so, in managing finances effectively.

In fact, studies have shown that women are often better investors than men as they tend to be more deliberate and risk aware. Another myth is that women’s expenditures are more frivolous and less important. We recently, saw this with the Stanley Cup thing, right?

This narrative paints women’s spending choices, especially on themselves as indulgent or unnecessary. However, investing in one’s health and well-being is neither frivolous nor a luxury. It’s a necessary step towards living a fulfilled, healthy life.

Last, there’s a myth that women should prioritize saving over investing. While saving is important, this approach can limit financial growth and opportunities. It’s essential to strike a balance between saving for security and investing in personal growth and health. Which can yield long term benefits that far outweigh the initial cost.

By understanding and challenging these myths, women can start to shift their relationship with money. It’s about moving from the mindset of scarcity and limitation to one of abundance and possibility. This shift is crucial, not just for individual financial empowerment, but for broader societal change.

Let’s talk about the strategies to reevaluate your financial fears. It’s about changing the story in your head. Instead of seeing spending on health as a risk, view it as an investment. An investment in a happier, more joyful future.

Start by asking yourself these questions. First, what is holding me back from investing in my health? Is it truly the money? Or is it the fear of failure? Or even, is it a perhaps lack of belief in myself?

It’s also helpful to remember that financial decisions are not just about the present moment. They’re about the future gains also. Consider the long term benefits and costs. Sometimes, spending on health today can save a lot more in medical bills tomorrow.

Think about the value that you’re getting from your money. It’s not just a transaction. It’s actually a pathway to a better quality of life. Now, if the problem is indeed financial, look for flexible options. Many programs, like mine, offer payment plans or money back guarantees. This can ease the burden and risk a large upfront investment.

There are ways to make it work if you’re truly committed. Investing in your health is often mislabeled as selfish. And let’s get rid of that idea just now. Taking care of your health is one of the most selfless acts. When you’re healthy, you are in a better position to care for other people, to contribute to your community, and to share your best self with the world.

Think about the roles that you play in life, perhaps as a parent, a partner, a professional. Each of these roles demands energy, strength, and presence. By investing in your health, you are ensuring that you can fulfill these roles to the best of your ability. It’s not just about you. It’s about being there fully present and engaging with life and those around you.

Moreover, investing in yourself sets a powerful example for those around you, especially if you have children. It teaches them the importance of self-care and healthy living. It shows them that taking care of themselves is a priority and not something to be sidelined.

Now, let’s do a little self-reflection on past spending habits. Think about the times that you’ve spent money on things that promised immediate gratification. Like an expensive meal out, a trendy gadget, or even a diet program that didn’t stick. How did those purchases make you feel in the long run? Did they bring lasting satisfaction or improvement to your life?

Often, we spend on things that offer a quick fix or temporary pleasure, but neglect to invest in things with long lasting benefits, like our health. It’s essential to weigh the temporary satisfaction of impulse purchases against the enduring value of your health and wellness.

Consider the money spent on quick fix diets and unused gym memberships. What if that money had been invested in a comprehensive health program tailored to your needs? It’s about reprioritizing your spending to align with your long term goals and values.

Investing in your health is not just a short term endeavor, it’s a long term commitment with far reaching benefits. Improved health means more energy, better mood, enhanced self-esteem, and decreased risk of chronic diseases. It’s about adding life to your years and living a longer, more fulfilling life independently. The benefits extend way beyond the physical.

Investing in your health can also lead to mental and emotional gains too. It can bring a sense of accomplishment, boost your confidence, and give you tools to handle stress more effectively.

In the long run, the money that you invest in your health can save you a significant amount in your health care costs. Prevention is always better and cheaper than a cure. A healthier lifestyle today can reduce the need for medications, doctor visits, and even surgeries later on.

Now, while the financial aspect of investing in health is an important consideration, it’s crucial to look at the bigger picture. It’s not just an expenditure, it’s an investment in your future.

Now, as we wrap up today’s episode, I want to leave you with a thought. You are worth the investment. Your health, your well-being, and your happiness are worth every effort, every moment, and yes, every single dollar that you put towards them.

If today’s episode has resonated with you, and if you’ve seen yourself in any of the stories or points that I’ve covered, I want to extend a personal invitation to you. Consider scheduling a consult call with me. Let’s talk about your health goals, your hesitations, and how we can work together to overcome them.

Remember, this isn’t just about losing weight or getting fit. It’s about transforming your life. your health, and perhaps even the way you view yourself. And if you’re still on the fence, if you’re looking for more insights and inspiration, I encourage you to listen to episode 137, ‘How Coaching Can Pay For Itself.’ it’s a deep dive into the tangible and intangible returns of investing in health coaching.

Also, check out episode 158, ‘The Ripple Effect,’ where we explore how improving your health can positively impact every area of your life. From personal relationships to professional achievements.

Thank you for joining me today. It is always such an honor to share this space with you, to discuss topics that matter, and to be a part of your journey towards a healthier, happier version of yourself.

Asking for help is not a weakness. It’s actually a strength. It’s a step towards a better you, and I am here to walk that path with you.

So, until next time, take care of yourself. You deserve it. And remember, your health is the best investment that you can ever make.

Have an amazing day, everyone. Thank you for listening to the Total Health and Midlife podcast. That’s all I have for you today. I’ll see you next week. Bye-bye.

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