Why can’t I stop eating at night even though I have great willpower during the day?

You’re not losing willpower at 9:30 p.m. – your brain is exhausted and following a well-practiced habit loop. After a full day of decisions and responsibilities, your nervous system is looking for the quickest way to shut off: tasty food, usually in front of a screen. Nighttime eating is your brain’s attempt to get relief and reward, not evidence that you’re broken or lazy.

Is nighttime eating always emotional eating, or can it be real hunger?

It can be both. Sometimes you are genuinely under-fueled from the day and your body is asking for more energy at night. Other times, the eating is mostly about emotions – wanting comfort, reward, numbing, or connection. The key is to notice whether nighttime food is solving physical hunger, emotional needs, or both, so you can respond more intentionally.

How do I stop eating at night without going on a diet or cutting out sugar completely?

Instead of banning foods, start by understanding your nighttime habit loop: what cues you, what you crave, what you do, and what reward you get. Then, gently lower the volume of the habit by plating your snack, slowing down, or slightly reducing the amount or speed rather than going to zero. Over time, you can add non-food ways to unwind so eating is one option, not the only off-switch.

What’s the first step to breaking my habit of snacking after dinner?

The first step is simply to write out what actually happens between dinner and bed. Note the time, where you are, who you’re with, what you do, and where food shows up. When you can see your pattern on paper, it stops feeling mysterious and becomes something you can experiment with instead of something you should be ashamed of.

How do perimenopause and menopause make nighttime eating worse?

During perimenopause and menopause, hormone shifts can disrupt sleep, increase stress sensitivity, and change how your body handles carbs and sugar. When you’re sleeping poorly and running on fumes, your brain naturally craves quick energy and dopamine hits, which often show up as nighttime snacks. That doesn’t mean you’re failing – it means your body is under extra pressure and needs more support, not more rules.

Why does going cold turkey on nighttime snacks work for a while and then totally backfire?

Going cold turkey can feel powerful at first because you’re riding a wave of motivation and frustration. After a week or two, the initial pain fades, cravings return, and your brain starts arguing that having the snack “just this once” isn’t a big deal. Without a plan for those waves of discomfort, you slide back into old habits and feel even more defeated, even though your brain is just doing what it has practiced for years.

How can I keep my favorite treats in the house without binging on them at night?

Start by making your relationship with those foods more intentional instead of forbidden. Practice eating them in smaller, planned amounts earlier in the day or at a calm time, on a plate, and sitting down. As you build trust that you can enjoy them without “all or nothing,” the urgency to eat them at night starts to fade, and the food becomes background instead of a constant shout from the pantry.

What’s a realistic, non-shamey way to retrain my brain around nighttime eating?

A realistic way is to combine awareness, tiny behavior shifts, and self-compassion. Map your habit loop, choose one micro-change for this week, and expect cravings to show up instead of seeing them as failure. Over time, these small, repeatable changes literally give your brain new nighttime patterns to follow, so you’re not relying on willpower alone.

Why are the holidays especially triggering for midlife women?

The holidays are triggering for midlife women because the season layers emotional labor, disrupted routines, nostalgia, family expectations, and social pressure on top of a nervous system that’s already managing stress, hormone shifts, and decision fatigue.

How do I handle holiday food pushers without feeling rude?

Use warm, clear scripts such as: 'Everything looks wonderful—I’m all set for now,' or 'I’m pacing myself tonight so I can feel good tomorrow.' Kindness plus clarity preserves your boundaries and the relationship.

What causes me to lose my healthy habits during the holidays?

Stress, irregular schedules, poor sleep, travel, alcohol, emotional labor, and the belief that 'it's the holidays, I’ll fix it in January' all make habits harder to maintain. It’s not a discipline issue—it’s the environment.

How can I enjoy holiday food without going overboard?

Use the Worth It? tool: enjoy the foods you truly love and skip the filler items. This is discernment, not restriction. Combine that with bare minimum habits—water, sleep, protein, movement—to stay grounded.

What’s the first step to staying grounded during holiday stress?

Decide how you want to feel tomorrow. When you set an intention for the morning-after, you make more aligned decisions in the moment—without dieting or restricting.

How do I recover after a holiday binge without dieting?

Hydrate, move gently, eat a normal balanced meal, and return to your bare minimum habits. Avoid overcorrecting or punishing yourself. Your body benefits more from rhythm than restriction.

What are simple habits I can keep during chaotic holiday weeks?

Choose three: drink water before coffee, eat a vegetable daily, take a 10-minute walk, have a protein-rich breakfast, or go to bed 30 minutes earlier. These small habits regulate energy and stress.

How do I stop using food to cope with holiday emotions?

Pause, name the emotion, and meet the underlying need—rest, connection, quiet, or space. Food is a coping mechanism, not a character flaw. When you attend to the real need, the urge softens.

How do I set boundaries with family around food or alcohol?

Use kind, concise scripts such as: 'That looks wonderful—I’m all set,' or 'I’m being intentional with alcohol this year.' Practice them ahead of time to reduce social pressure in the moment.

How do I stay consistent when traveling or hosting?

Anchor to your bare minimums: water, sleep, simple movement, and one grounding moment of choice. Perfection is unnecessary; rhythm is what keeps you steady.

What does it mean for health to be the “foundation” of my life?

It means your health habits are the base that supports everything else—your mood, decisions, productivity, energy, and emotional resilience. When the base is steady, everything else becomes easier.

How do I build a health routine that fits my real schedule?

Use flexible time blocks instead of rigid schedules, anchor habits to things you already do, and include Plan A, B, and C versions so your routine survives busy weeks.

What are the most important habits for women in midlife?

Focus on simple habits in three categories: food, movement, and energy. Choose habits that help you feel grounded and steady during real life.

How do I stay consistent when life gets busy?

Use 'good enough' versions of each habit—your Rescue Map—so you are never starting from zero. Choose the smallest version of your habit and keep going.

What’s the first step to creating a flexible, sustainable health plan?

Start by tracking your natural energy rhythm for 2–3 days. Build your habits where they fit the easiest instead of forcing them into your hardest part of the day.

How do I get back on track after falling off my routine?

Don't start over. Start again. Choose a tiny version of your habit and resume from where you are rather than waiting for the perfect time.

How can I take care of my health without dieting?

Focus on nourishment rather than restriction. Prioritize protein and produce, movement for vitality, and small consistent habits rather than calorie counting or weight-loss rules.

How do I manage energy in perimenopause and menopause?

Prioritize sleep, balanced meals, gentle movement, boundaries around stress, and more recovery. Your plan should adapt to changing energy rather than requiring perfection.

What are simple habits I can start with if I feel overwhelmed?

Start with one nourishing meal, five minutes of movement, one minute of breathing, and a full glass of water before coffee. Small steps create stability fast.

How do I build self-trust with my health habits?

Notice and celebrate weekly small wins. Evidence—not perfection—is what rewires your brain to trust that you can follow through.

Why do rigid routines stop working in midlife?

Midlife brings shifting hormones, unpredictable schedules, and increased responsibilities. Rigid plans collapse under stress. Flexible rhythms adapt to your real life so consistency becomes possible.

How does the Life-Proof Your Health Playbook help me start quickly?

It gives you a step-by-step system with worksheets, templates, and a Quick-Start Checklist that helps you focus on small, sustainable habits that fit your life immediately.

Back on the Wagon • Total Health by Elizabeth

I just posted a new newsletter to my website! If you’re not on my newsletter list, please feel free to sign up here. I try to send out newsletters once a month. I’m not really sure what happened, but apparently I took a 9 month hiatus! Initially I think I can blame it on my bodybugg. I’ve been trying to add more activity in my life, and sitting, doing computer work does not accomplish that goal. Eventually, it became a daunting task, my self talk being something like: "Well, now it needs to be an AWESOME newsletter because you’ve been saving all of this information up. It needs to be rockin’!"

That type of self talk reminds me of what we do to ourselves all the time when it comes to LOTS of areas in our life; whether it’s eating "I can’t start eating better until I’ve gotten all of this junk out of the house."; or exercise "I want to start exercising, but I just don’t have the time."; or even if it’s tackling the overabundance of stuff/possessions in your life "I can’t clean out the garage until [insert excuse here]."

What I’m often amazed at is how easy it is once I get started. The mountain of obstacles that my brain has me convinced that this task will take forever, or be really difficult, often doesn’t take nearly the amount of effort that I had anticipated.

It makes me remember that just the act of starting takes so much more mental effort than the act of doing.

So, whether your obstacle is eating better, exercising or de-junking your house, start small. Add a serving of fruit or vegetables in place of something boxed. No time for exercise? Start with a 10 minute walk. And as far as that closet or garage goes, start with just one aspect: shoes or the stuff in your car.

It doesn’t have to be a monumental effort. Start somewhere & eventually, you’ll be able to see all you’ve accomplished.

Elizabeth Sherman

Elizabeth is a Master Certified Life and Health Coach with over 18 years of experience, dedicated to helping women in midlife thrive through holistic health and wellness. Her personal journey began with a desire to reduce her own breast cancer risk, which evolved into a mission to guide women through the complexities of midlife health, from hormonal changes to mental clarity and emotional resilience.

Elizabeth holds certifications from prestigious institutions such as The Life Coach School, Precision Nutrition, and the American Council on Exercise, as well as specialized training in Feminist Coaching and Women’s Hormonal Health. Her approach is deeply empathetic, blending her extensive knowledge with real-life experience to empower women in their 50s and 60s to build sustainable health habits that last a lifetime.

Recognized as a top voice in women’s health, Elizabeth speaks regularly on stages, podcasts, and webinars, inspiring women to embrace midlife with energy, confidence, and joy. Her passion is helping women regain control of their health, so they can fully engage in the things that matter most to them—whether that’s pursuing new passions, maintaining strong relationships, or simply feeling great in their own skin.