Total Health in Midlife Episode #216: HEALED with Sarah Sparks

Sarah: My body is like, never could a body release weight or emotions, if it did not feel safe to do so.

And so, it could not release the weight if you’re constantly telling it, ‘you piece of shit, why aren’t you working? You got to do more. You need to be out there grinding it. Why don’t we go for a run? Oh, what are you lazy?’ Like your body’s like, ‘oh, what?’ And my body as you’re talking is literally like all I’ve ever wanted is love.

Welcome to Total Health and Midlife, the podcast for women embracing the pivotal transformation from the daily grind to the dawn of a new chapter. I’m Elizabeth, your host and fellow traveler on this journey.

As a Life and Health Coach, I am intimately familiar with the changes and challenges we face during this stage. Shifting careers, changing relationships, our new bodies, and redefining goals and needs as we start to look to the future and ask, what do I want?

In this podcast, we’ll explore physical, mental, and emotional wellness, offering insights and strategies to achieve optimal health through these transformative years.

Yes, it’s totally possible.

Join me in this amazing journey of body, mind, and spirit, where we’re not just improving our health, but transforming our entire lives.

Elizabeth: Hey everyone, welcome back to the Total Health in Midlife podcast. I’m Elizabeth Sherman, your host. And I am so excited that you are here today because today, we are diving into a part of health that most of us don’t really think about, or we don’t really think that it’s attached to our health. But it impacts a lot, almost everything, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Now, let me ask you something. Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, whether it’s changing your diet, exercising, or getting more sleep that something still feels a little bit off? Like there’s a heaviness that you just can’t shake or emotions that are bubbling up that you don’t really know what to do with.

If so, today’s episode is going to be perfect for you. Today, I have a special guest and we are talking about how emotional freedom and soul alignment plays a huge role in your overall health. My guest today is a friend and fellow coach, Sarah Sparks, and she is a Soul Alignment Coach and Creator of the HEALED process. That’s an acronym, H E A L E D.

And it’s a six step journey designed to help you heal deep emotional wounds, release stored emotions, and connect with your true self. Now, I know that it’s possible that when you hear the words spiritual health, you might think of religion. But that’s not what we’re talking about today.

This is about reconnecting with yourself, clearing out emotional blocks, and learning how to feel lighter, freer, and more in tune with what your body actually needs. And so, by the end of this episode, you will walk away with a new understanding of how unprocessed emotions affect your body, and why you might feel exhausted, stuck, or even have unexplained physical symptoms.

This episode is about taking care of the parts of yourself that don’t show up on a lab test, but they are just as important for your health. So, let’s get into it. Here’s my conversation with the amazing, Sarah Sparks.

All right, everyone welcomes Sarah sparks to the total health and midlife podcast. Sarah, I am very excited to talk to you today because Sarah and I were just talking before I hit record and we got some good stuff planned for you today. So, let’s start with Sarah, introduce yourself, tell everyone who you are, who you help, how you help them, all the things.

Sarah: All right. Yes. Thank you so much for having me, Elizabeth and giving me this opportunity to connect and share. I love it. So, yes, I am Sarah Sparks, I’m a Soul Alignment Coach, speaker. I’m an author. I’m the creator of the HEALED process. That’s a transformational six step journey that encourages individuals, mostly those who are experiencing compassion fatigue, so that could be coaches, it could be professionals.

I’ve worked with veterinarians, doctors, child care, caregiver support network, that sort of thing. So, individuals to release the emotional burdens, heal core wounds, and align with their soul’s purpose. I have an expertise in emotional and spiritual healing, so I help people reclaim their inner peace, reconnect to their authentic selves, and experience a life that I would like that, that I have, that I’ve gotten to enjoy, but I’m full of ease and joy and flow. So, that’s me in a nutshell.

I also have a book 144 wealth codes and I had a podcast that was globally ranked and now I’m starting a new one. So that’s me.

Elizabeth: Amazing. So, yeah. I think that a lot of people when they come across the total health and midlife podcast, we think about physical health. Yeah. And when I started my journey, I was all in on physical health, like eating and exercising. And then, I realized that’s not all of it, right? That then, there’s this other layer of emotional and mental health. And then, as we were talking this morning, starting to talk about spirituality and our spiritual health.

And when the listener hears spiritual health, I think it’s really easy to make the connection between spirituality and religion. But that’s not what you’re necessarily talking about. Can you explain the difference between the two?

Sarah: So, if whether you say divine God, source, creator, spirit, universe. I am not here on this planet during this lifetime to try to convince anybody of anything. So, you connect with whomever you want to. Religion is manmade. Divine does not have a religion. I always think it’s hilarious. If you believe that you pass. I believe that I have a soul and I’m energy. So, I’ll always exist. I always have been always will be.

And so, let’s say for instance, you go to in my head. This is the joke that I play for myself is like when somebody is really strong on their viewpoints of religion. I’m like, really? So, we die. And let’s say, God is standing there and is like, “sorry, we’re only taking Presbyterians today. The rest of you go to hell. See you later. Bye.” Like, really? Like, no. So, that’s the joke.

But anyway, so religion is more manmade, and God doesn’t have a religion. I say, God, I grew up in the Catholic church. So, that’s my connection with that. But I also primarily say divine because I now connect with energy and the encompassing of consciousness, of oneness, of how we all have little cells in our bodies. We all bleed the same. To me, that’s all oneness.

And so, it doesn’t matter how we are on the outside, what color we are, our nose shapes, our hair color. It doesn’t matter what’s on the outside. We’re all the same on the inside. And so, there’s a thread of consciousness that comes within us and through us. And that I believe is divine. And I believe that we all are divine. Even those who sometimes we judge and say they aren’t. They’re just not connected with that. Or maybe they don’t know how. But it’s not my place to judge.

So, not to deviate too much off of your question. Spirituality to me isn’t religious. That’s a whole other concept things. I mean, if we even think about, I think in our previous one on one chat, coffee chats, I brought up, Jesus. Now, I’ve been doing this for almost 13 years, 12 years, last year. So, yeah, this will be my 13th year.

Worked with numerous people who really are grappling around with, I have this energy gift, or I want to do Reiki. But how do I meld my Christian beliefs in Jesus with this energy and this Reiki? And it came to me so easily when clients ask this is like, if you think about Jesus, he wasn’t Christian, people made a religion around that and called him Christ. But Jesus, literally laid hands and did energy work. I was like, he’s the original Reiki master.

There were other before him as well. So, I’m like, don’t get all caught up in and on all the beliefs, go back to your knowing. If we know that we’re energy, we know that we are good. You know, just good at the core of who we are is good.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Sarah: I hope that explains it.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Well, and you know, I shared something before, and I’ll share it with the listeners that I also grew up in the Catholic church. I was born in 1968, which at that point was the start of Vatican two. And that’s important because I’m the youngest of six kids and my parents, we’re in the Catholic church. And then, when Vatican two came out, when the Catholic church said, ‘Oh, wait, maybe we were wrong about all of these things that we used to preach about.’ My parents started having these questions. And so, I was not raised with the same Catholicism that my sisters and brother were raised with.

And I’ve always identified as Catholic, and I don’t know why maybe just because of identity sake. But when the Christian coalition started in the United States, I really rejected that because I felt like there was all of this dogma telling me what I should and should not believe as far as my religion and spirituality were concerned.

But when I started my business and then learned about manifesting, which it sounds so weird. But then, I started understanding that spirituality, and God, and universe and what you’re calling the divine can be so much more than just the rules of the church. And so, I really love what you’re doing.

Sarah: Thank you. I just want everyone to be in ease and flow. I see so much emotion in people. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse. Both my husband and I have this ability. And I had a lot of emotion, which then it’s like air in a drain, not to give you something to think about or visualize. But like the emotions that we have clog up our connection.

And so, if you have a lot of emotion around, even the word God, it could stop you from connecting with even your inner knowing of who you really are. Which then correlates to and has an effect on. How you interact with your partner if you have one, or your children if you have them, or grandchildren. How you interact with the cashier, or how you drive. If you are having this rage and anger inside of you, do you think it affects your driving?

And yeah, cause you’re not being your true self. You know, let the other person go in front of you. Who cares? You’re getting there safe. And the emotions in us affect every aspect of our lives, including the connection that we have with divine ourselves and so forth. So, it plays a role like spirituality plays a role in our total health.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Well, and something that I notice, is that we, as a people right now are really craving connection and belonging. And it goes back to what you said earlier about oneness. Like when we can see everyone as one, but yet I feel like there’s this separation. And we feel very lonely right now, especially women in midlife.

I think women in midlife are really struggling right now with loneliness, with disconnection and with just this sense of not knowing.

Sarah: Yeah. I’m in midlife, I’ve graciously started perimenopause. Yay. Oh goodness. I don’t know if this is accurate, and everyone has their own viewpoint. Honestly, this is my observation, so take it or leave it.

So, menopause in midlife, we’re pausing men, not men like physical beings, but the masculine part of us. The doing, the have to get it done, the struggle, the focus, get it, drive, done, do, do, do, do, do, go, go, go, which we’ve done all of our lives up until this midlife.

And then, it’s a turning point. And it’s a moment when many of us start to question the roles we’ve played, the expectations that we’ve carried. Whether we’re truly living in alignment with who we are, maybe if you say soul or not. And it’s the perfect time to reconnect with our authentic selves when we feel that there are disconnection and our yearning for connection outside of ourselves is truly a reflection of our connection that we’re yearning for within ourselves.

We are told that we don’t matter subconsciously in society. Once you get to a non-reproductive age, you don’t really have an importance in society, bullshit! And so, then we start judging and if we start questioning ourselves and yes, there is a hormonal. You know, a significance to it which you know from the connection and spiritual standpoint, that yearning, that I have witnessed in myself and in others to have that external connection and that loneliness is it comes from within.

So, going within and be like, oh, loneliness. And loneliness, it’s just the sadness of being alone. So, what are you sad about? Where are you storing that sadness? Where do you feel it in you? And then, I’ll show you an exercise or I’ll walk you through anyone who’s listening. How to just go within and go into that emotion and feel where it’s in your body. It’s just a quick little body scan, body awareness. And you may do this already. I don’t know, you may already have taken them through this.

So, anyways. And by this stage, we’ve all had enough life experience to recognize what no longer serves us. You know, we’re like, Oh, don’t want to retell that story one more time. And the HEALED process that I’ve created just helps them to clear out those emotional blocks release the old conditioning and create a space for life that you’re meant to truly live.

So, midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s an awakening. And it’s an opportunity to step into our fullest selves, most authentic expression, and that clarity, and that confidence, and that ease. And just say, I’m done living this old way. But we were also, oops, sorry. You also said about identifying as a Catholic, most times when I’m working with people through the heal process. And I asked them, are you aware that you could live a healed life? Are you aware you’re not always a work in progress.

And those two questions, it like expand something within people. And it’s like, “Oh, but who would I be if I didn’t have this pain? Who would I be if I wouldn’t tell the pains of the past?” And I get it because I was like, when divine shares with me that I need to take on a new identity and I need to no longer that I need to do life differently. I need to live life in a whole new way. And I need to divorce my old life.

Now, I’ve already been through divorce, so it didn’t feel like a marriage divorce. It didn’t feel like that. I didn’t feel like I had to leave my home. I didn’t feel like I needed to divorce my children, my husband. It was literally like all the things that you have ever identified yourself with, need to be released.

And so, me, I’m the youngest, I think you had said, I don’t know if now, yeah, you just said now. You’re the youngest of six, I’m the youngest of four. So, one of the things that I had to release in this part of my life was identifying with being the youngest.

I’m not that anymore. I’m not three. I’m not six. And what changed about that then, I met up with a friend who I hadn’t seen in a couple of years. And we’re going to have tea. And I noticed in this HEALED process, how I allowed people to talk to me based on my identity of being the youngest.

Elizabeth: Oh, that’s fascinating. I totally get that. You’ve just given me a huge piece. Thank you. Go ahead.

Sarah: When I’m ordering tea, like she’s standing behind me, the friend. Which she’s always talked to me this way. Like this just how our dynamic goes. But she hadn’t realized because it’s been two years that I’m no longer that person. And so, she’s like, no, the cashier is asking if you would want decaf or caffeinated tea. Like, I wouldn’t know.

But that is how everybody would talk to me because I personally, identified with being the youngest. So, I just energetically, emotionally accepted people telling me what to do cause that has always been the thing. And I didn’t respond to her. I didn’t make it a big deal. I don’t even know she even like, in the moment, it didn’t even like.

But I just said to the cashier, you can continue. What are the flavors? Because I wanted a specific, but I didn’t know if they had it. It was our first time there. I ordered it. And I just observed, and I was like, wow, because I’m not identifying and I didn’t have the emotions in me saying, ‘you know, who do you think you are standing up for yourself saying what you need to say?’

I didn’t have the emotional blocks. I released the old conditioning, and I created that space for in my life to be who I’m truly meant to be. And I’m five nine. I’ve always stood out. I’m not like this small girl who kind of hides like wherever I go, I stand out. So, why not take up space? But I was always had this identity of being the youngest. So, just kind of come along and we’ll just tell you what to do. And that’s how everybody treated me. And I was like, no.

So, it was an opportunity and not to have a crisis. But have that awakening and shift and change. And so, I think that’s a perfect time in midlife to do that.

Elizabeth: Oh my gosh, so many things. So, one thing I was getting stuck on, and I just want to clarify for folks who are listening is you were talking about divorcing identities and creating a new identity. And I think what I hear you really saying is just getting rid of old stories and ways, limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves and growing into a new version of ourselves.

Sarah: For sure. And when I’ve said that to other people, they’re like, “so, you’re going to take on a new name.” Right. And I was like, “Nope, still Sarah Sparks.” So then, are you dressing differently? Right. Nope. Nope. Are you changing genders? Nope, still female. I’m not, no, not that type of identity. It’s just how we see ourselves. And I got it. I mean, divine’s the one that said to me, you need to take on a new identity. I was stuck on the word identity for a really good months.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Sarah: What does that mean? It’s like carrying around a bag of identity with me. Like what? Like, I didn’t get it. So, thank you for saying that and being clear in that statement.

Elizabeth: Yeah. But no, I think you’re absolutely right. And I see this with women all the time is that we go into perimenopause with our heels dug in and we’re like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And we are fighting it. We are fighting it. We were fighting it. And I did this too. But then, once I crossed over into menopause, it’s kind of like you look around and you’re in this open field and you’re like, ‘Oh my God, this is amazing.’

So, like for anyone out there who is fighting what it is that’s going on in your body right now, it doesn’t have to be that way. Like it can be ease. And I do want to talk about your HEALED process, but I think that this brings us into another part of our conversation that we wanted to have, which is what’s going on energetically in the earth. You were talking about the divine feminine and masculine. Can you talk a little bit about that?

Sarah: All right. So, when I have brought up divine feminine and divine masculine, feminine, we don’t even talk about divine, just feminine, and masculine energies. Those who are more religious. And they’re my best friends from when I was young, or family members, whatever. But when I say those words, it gets really confusing and defenses come up and judgments come up. So, let me just be clear.

Feminine is equal to being. Love. It’s not being lazy. There’s not lack. It’s an openness. It’s soul. It’s gentle, loving, feminine, all right? And feminine can also be strong, you know? It doesn’t have to be this weak, mild in the background. That’s not at all. So, a lot of people, when you say feminine or masculine, it’s instantly female roles and male roles. And that’s not, we’re talking about energy. All right. And so, it’s the being, beingness of energy.

Instead of forcing something to happen, you allow it. Kind of also the words of like, what is it called? I don’t force, I attract. I think it’s like, I don’t make things happen, I attract it in. Something along the lines, you’re not begging for the business, you’re allowing it in. Something along those lines. Hopefully, someone will get it out there.

And then, the masculine is more of the doing. Is the ‘get it done,’ the structure, just do, do, do, do, do. So, what I receive from Divine is that the energy of the Earth has shifted into Divine Feminine. Into receiving, to soul, into love, into being.

So, those who are consciously advanced, connected, empathetic, and have been on a spiritual journey. They’re urged to allow their ego to dissipate. Relinquish the ego of its duties. The ego is not bad. It’s part of our personality, but it’s not really necessary anymore. It was formed between seven and 11 years old. It has been there to keep us safe. But we’ve evolved enough to know when we’re safe, you know.

So, let go of it and let go of the need for the unhealed masculine to lead. There are plenty of opportunities for people to see in the world today of the unhealed masculine. It is not thinking of others, just going ahead and doing it. Dictatorship. It does not have a unity mindset that we are all one. It is, I am the leader, and this is me and it’s my way or the highway and this is what we’re doing. That is not going to be sustainable.

Instead, we’re invited to allow that divine healed feminine to lead. We are the leaders for those who are consciously advanced, connected, empathetic. We’re the leaders. So, we’re the ones showing and teaching others just by being ourselves, how to receive with ease.

But in order to do that, we must decide to live a healed life. And so, divine goes on and shares with me that we must be healthy, mind, body, soul connection. We must be emotionally free from the pains of the past. Aligned with who we truly are. Listening to that inner wisdom, to that divine guidance.

The fifth thing is experiencing what we came here to experience. And allowing others to experience whatever they want to experience that this part, the fifth one, the experiencing part. People who know me and know the HEALED process and have gone through it, are now sending me all of Mel Robbins has let them stuff because I’m like, yes, that is the fifth, like, you’re experiencing your own stuff. Let them. Have their own experiences, you know. And that’s the part where judgment is released.

And then, finally just decide to live that healed life. There has to be a decision. Instead of it just being wavering and being stuck in the “I’m always a work in progress and I’m just an onions unfolding.” And that’s not what we’re here, that no longer. So, that’s what’s going on.

Elizabeth: Well, no. And so like, as you’re talking, I was thinking like when we’re talking about that, go, go, go, doing, doing, doing versus being. I think that that actually ties in so beautifully to my work and what we talk about here in the podcast. Because so many of us have been taught the divine masculine of doing when it comes to control over your body.

Sarah: Yeah.

Elizabeth: Right. Like, all you have to do is try harder, just do it, like do, do, do, eat less, move more. And what happens in this time of our lives is that we can’t do that anymore. It just doesn’t work.

Sarah: I have a whole like tingle, a whole body. And there’s such a connection in that. Because our body, I’ll say our body, but my body right now as you’re talking, because I am in tuned and I can listen to it and things. So, if anyone’s listening, I was like, what? I got you. I can help you with it. But as you’re talking, my body is like, never could a body release weight. Or emotions if it did not feel safe to do so.

And so, it could not release the weight if you’re constantly telling it, ‘you piece of shit, why aren’t you working? You got to do more. You need to be out there grinding it. Why don’t we go for a run? Oh, what are you lazy?’ Like your body’s like, ‘oh, what?’ And my body as you’re talking is literally like all I’ve ever wanted is love.

So, appreciating, I mean, I had children. And I thought my body during that time, like I never thought like someone, my first pregnancy, I was in the mountains for a business retreat, and I took a photo and I mean, I was like 35 weeks. Probably, shouldn’t have been traveling, but I was. So, I was very pregnant, and someone commented about the photo like, oh, you just look so confident. You’re not afraid to show off your belly.

Like you’ve gained so much weight and you’re okay with it. And I thought to myself, my body knew how to grow a human. And the human knew how to grow on its own inside my body. I don’t know what else is a miracle maker except for this body. I don’t know what to do. So, Sparks wasn’t over here going, okay body, now this is what you need to do during this. I mean, I had no idea, but my body knew like how amazing is that? Like, oh, the amount of love that I gave it during that time and the birth itself was the most magical divine thing I ever experienced both times.

People know that I swear, and I express myself and things. And so, when Craig has shared the birthing of this, and there’s so much love that is coming through me. Because I do a whole like meditation the whole time, I’m giving birth because I’m just connecting to my body and allowing the baby to do, I had two girls. So, she knew and things. And so, I would just sway and move and just do what my body knew to do.

And when she finally was here, both times I looked at Craig and my first, he’s my husband and first instinct was, I love you. And I’m like, now, that I’ve had the children and as you’re talking and this opportunity to truly just be, I had my own awareness of like, if I have 30 pounds to release, why don’t I love myself to that. Like to release that 30 pounds instead of be the unhealed masculine, you know. I’m learning as I go.

Elizabeth: Well, no. And I think that what you’re saying is so true of many women is that we have this belief that I can’t love myself, ‘until.’ So, we’re putting conditional love on our bodies. And we’re like, I can’t love you. I can’t accept you, until you’ve hit this milestone that society has put on us of how big or small, we should be.

And what you’re saying, which is what I’ve been saying is when you can come from a place of love for your body and respect and acceptance of it. That then, your body will actually become the body that you want. It has no other choice.

Sarah: Yeah, it’s so true. I’m having my own aha. It’s all like 11 because that’s honestly how, I mean, I’ve known of the earth’s energy shifting for probably 15 years. I’ve known people who have been all over the world in different locations doing work. And they did all this work energetically speaking to heal it. And it was a massive amount of love.

And so, I can see why when divine shares with me that the earth just cannot sustain it anymore that the earth’s energy has shifted into that receiving to that divine feminine, to that soul, to that love, into that being. That is so powerful that we as women should know how powerful that is of all creatures. Because we’ve experienced that receiving, we’ve experienced that love, we’ve experienced that being. But now, we can bring it to a very personal stance and into our bodies, not just for. Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I’m just having my own hustle. I don’t know.

Elizabeth: No, no. And I think can bring this back to a couple different parts of our conversation that we’ve already had. Which is about connection and disconnection, and with our bodies, and with other people. So, when we’re talking about this divine masculine. The doing takes us away from who we are as people and what it is that we want. Because we are taking direction from someone else outside of ourselves.

Whereas when we start to pay attention to our bodies and what’s right for us as humans and for our bodies, then we are truly being. And so, it creates more connection with ourselves. It creates more connection with others and through this whole process. Yeah, we’re basically healing the disconnection that we feel, the loneliness that we feel.

Sarah: One thing that I don’t know if your listeners question in this conversation, it is something that my own clients questions. I wanted to bring it up. When we are mentioning and we’re having this conversation around being and doing, it’s not that I no longer do. I take aligned action.

So, I’m on the podcast because I’m aligned with it. I joined certain networking groups because I’m aligned with it. I hop on calls. I have clients. I eat certain foods. I move my body because that is what first and foremost, I connect. I connect with my own receiving. I connect with my own inner love with divine. I connect, and then I do.

So, it’s taking that aligned action. It’s not just someone outside of ourselves saying, ‘well, you need to do this, and you need to do that.’ That’s what I found online as I was navigating through perimenopause. I finally just was like, unfollow everybody. Like I can’t do it anymore. I have to connect first. So, I just wanted that to be clear, because clients who I have worked with that I get really hung up on when I say be, they’re like, so you just want me to sit in a chair all day? And I’m like, no. So, you want me to be lazy? Nope. Definitely not.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s kind of like the same when I talk about food not being good or bad, my clients are like, oh, so, I’m just going to eat ice cream all day. It’s like, no, you’re not going to eat ice cream all day because after a while, you’re going to get sick of it. You’re going to want to do something different. You’re going to want to have some broccoli. You are going to want to have some other stuff and do what’s right for you.

But I think what we’re talking about is also women have really deviated or I don’t know, deviated is the right word. I think, not listened to their own wanting. And so, when we’re talking about being, it’s also uncovering what is it that I want, that I need. And that goes along with, then you’re doing because you’re doing things that are good for you personally versus what someone else is telling you.

Sarah: I was recreating a whole new business strategy and plan around the HEALED process. Because I knew I needed to shift from what I was teaching was around aligning the soul of the business with business of soul and that sort of thing. And that was feeling very much out of alignment. And so, as I went through the HEALED process and then I created it. I knew I needed to create something like the business plan and strategy.

Well, what was funny is just what you’re saying. Like I went on to chat GPT and was like, based on all this information around the HEALED process, create a seven figure a year business plan around this information. Oh my gosh, it shot out. All these options, all these offers. I mean, and it’s what I used to do. It was all the doing. I mean, it didn’t say to hire a team, but my God, I’d have to have at least five people on my team or multiply myself by five. And that’s just what I did.

I have two children. I have a husband. But there would be times that my child, she’s 11 now, but she was about six at the time would come up into my office and be like, mommy, I haven’t seen you in a while. Do you want to come downstairs? And I’m like, why? Balls, this is not why I’m here, you know, like, Oh, but I thought I had to do, do, do, do, do to have what I want.

And there’s an equation that I’m sure you teach your clients too. And it’s B plus do equals have. I think a lot of us are taught if we want to have a certain amount of income, a certain lifestyle, and we work backwards, what do we need to do? I don’t think a lot of us that are taught, who do we need to be? And what I noticed when I reverse engineered it, who do I need to be? What is the energy that I want to be in? What are the thoughts as my healed self, am I? Then, what am I in alignment with to do?

I don’t even have to think about the have. It just automatically comes up. So, when you’re talking about loving your body, it has no other option but to go into alignment with its true weight and its true vitality. And my thought just totally just bounced all over.

Elizabeth: What you’re saying is absolutely true. And we don’t think about it. And it’s a really good question whether you’re trying to make more money or you’re trying to be a different size.

Sarah: Thank you. So then, I went on back onto chat GPT and I was like, I don’t want anything to do with this plan. That was my old way of being. I want to offer this. So, back to your comment around like women in the midlife, knowing what they want. Like, this is what I want my life to look like. This is my morning. This is my afternoon. This is how I want to be as a mother. This is how I want to be as wife. This is how I want to be as a business owner.

And this is my healed life, now create a business plan off of that. And I was like, hell to the yes, that’s what I want. And it’s still making the same amount of money. But in a whole new way. And I was like, that’s what I’m talking about, sister. So, it’s knowing what you want, but then who do you want to be along the way?

Elizabeth: Right. Well, yeah, 100 percent. One of the things that I talk about is the ‘8 Basic Habits that Healthy People Do.’ It’s one of my freebies that I give out. And habit number eight is called, ‘limit treats.’ I don’t say, I force my clients to have treats, but it’s part of the process. One of the reasons that I think that so many people struggle to maintain their lower weight is because we go on these restrictive diets. And then, when we get to our goal weight, we don’t know how to incorporate pizza, and burgers, and ice cream, and cookies back into our diet. We know that we should be able to eat them, but we don’t really know how to eat them.

And so, I have my clients have those things along the way to their goal. Does it take longer? Maybe, but maybe not because they’re very infrequently then going on and off plan, right? And so, like Yes, you can get to your goal by being restrictive or you can get to it and actually have some fun along the way. You get to choose. Like it’s the same thing.

Sarah: Yes. I love it. Perfect. Yes. And I don’t think, yeah. And we’re not taught. So, like, I found when I was on a restrictive weight loss plan. The biggest thing that I kept asking people when I got to my goal weight was like, how do I maintain it? What do we do? And no one knew.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Sarah: No one knew all of these thousands of people who were doing the same darn thing. They were like, I don’t know.

Elizabeth: Just keep doing the same thing.

Sarah: And I’m like, this is not going to work. I’m going to know what this is. So, I love that you do that. And same as for my clients of the HEALED process, people are like, so then once we release it, they think it’s kind of like releasing weight. So, they’re releasing emotion and they get almost addicted to that process of like, ‘but I just did it. And it felt so good.’ Like I just released this emotion. Let’s go back to it.

And I’m like, ‘no sister, you already did. Like, keep going. There’s the whole other A L E D. And like, what’s it like living there?’ So, what’s it like maintaining that weight? What’s it like living at your sole goal weight? You know, what is that like? So, it’s like, what is it like living at the HEALED process? I think we may teach the same things, but we just talk about it a different way.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Well, so that’s a really good question. So, for anyone listening right now, how would they know if they should hire you?

Sarah: Oh, they are feeling like they need to be living life in a whole new way that they are tired, worn out, fatigued. They are having physical symptoms that they’re not even sure why they are very emotional. And they just have this feeling that there’s a different way of living. And they want to explore that they just don’t know what it is.

People ask me all the time like, do I have to be spiritual? Do I have to already be connected to work with you? No. As long as they’re open, as long as you’re open minded, and you’re open to a different way of thinking and a different perspective. That’s all that’s needed. But usually, the physical symptoms are everything that goes along with compassion fatigue.

So, the main thought that I hear often is I just feel like I have nothing more to give. And that, I’ve developed a quiz and it’s discovered the hidden cause of burnout. And burnout, AKA compassion fatigue. And what I found is there’s five core wounds within us that say, ‘oh, we have to do more.’ In order for people not to leave. In order for me to be enough. In order for me not to feel the shame.

So, then we overwork ourselves. We over give ourselves. We put ourselves last. But it’s all based on the five, four wounds. And so, if we heal those if we heal, there’s usually just one that’s main. If we get in there and we release the emotions around it, I show them how to heal it and things. And then, we move on from that healed space. Then, we aligned with soul, and we learned to listen to divine guidance. That was given to me. Oh, my goodness.

In 2010, 11, something like this five steps to listen to divine guidance. And I kept it my best kept secret for years because I was like, I was not comfortable being spiritual. And so, for the first, I would say five, six years of my business, clients would come to me. I know you asked me about like who clients and I’m deviating from it. But people would come to me and be like, how did you know that about me? Well, I had already quote unquote channeled the whole session out based on what I was feeling from them, but I didn’t want to tell them that I had this gift.

So, I would just have notes and I was like, ‘oh, I’m just used to working with people.’ I would not mention that I could connect with them, or their souls, or spirit, or anything. And so, I didn’t want to tell people how to listen to their divine guidance, even though I had the five steps. And it wasn’t until I was like 2012, 13, 13.

I was part of this group mastermind. And that was when I was in the mountains for. They’re like, Sarah, what is your specialty? And I was like, well, I listened to divine guidance. They’re like, what? And I was like, what is five steps? Like, if you want to learn to listen to your own divine guidance. And they’re like, you know how to do this. And I was like, oh, yes.

Elizabeth: Doesn’t everybody?

Sarah: So, I was like, oh, well, it’s allow, ask, receive, trust, and act. And they’re like, hold on, let me write this down. And I was sat there, and I was like, oh, so people don’t know how to do this and they want to learn. So, that’s all part of the HEALED process as well. So anyway, the main thing that people are feeling, the main thought, and you don’t have to have this thought, but a lot of people do is just like oh, I feel like I have nothing more to get So, tired, burn out, pull them any different directions. So, yeah.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Okay. So, where can people reach you or get the quiz?

Sarah: Yeah. sarahsparks.love is my website. So, Sarah Sparks, S A R A H S P A R K S dot love. And on there is the quiz and everything. You’ll see a banner scrolling if you happen to go on there. But it will have a new website in February. So, I don’t know when you’re going to be showcasing this, but a whole new website is coming. A whole new world.

Elizabeth: Amazing. Amazing. Is there anything else that you want to share with folks today? We’ve covered a lot.

Sarah: I know. Can I share just one simple yet powerful exercise?

Elizabeth: Absolutely.

Sarah: Body scan.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Sarah: All right. If you’re listening to this in a space that you can participate in this and you’re not driving, go ahead and do it with me. Otherwise, pause and wait until you’re in a safe space. So, we’re going to just take a moment and close your eyes.

Take a deep breath and release. We release all anxiety. Leaving judgment about ourselves and others at the door. We step into trust. The energy of trust. The being of trust. You’re trusting yourself. And we say to ourselves, saying to our bodies, I trust you. You are safe.

Bringing your awareness to your body, start at the top of your head. With still with your eyes closed. And scan the top of your head, down your face, neck, shoulders, slowly moving down. Noticing any area of tightness, continue moving down your body. Tightness, tension, discomfort. And ask yourself, what emotion is living here? Inside the tension, the tightness, what emotion is living here? Don’t judge, just observe. Once you identify an emotion, place your hand over that area, and take another deep breath saying to yourself, I see you, I feel you, and I release you with love. I see you; I feel you, and I release you with love.

This simple practice helps you reconnect with your body, uncovering stored emotions, and begin the process of emotional release. One step closer to total health and well-being. And then, you can slowly come back into your center and open your eyes.

Elizabeth: Thank you for sharing that.

Sarah: You’re welcome. Thank you for having me on today.

Elizabeth: Thank you for being here. I appreciate it.

Sarah: You’re welcome.

Elizabeth: Alright. So, I hope you really enjoyed that conversation. I loved it. I hope today’s episode got you thinking about how much your emotional health affects your physical well-being and why healing old wounds, releasing stored emotions, and reconnecting with yourself might be the missing piece in your health journey.

I loved what Sarah said about how midlife isn’t a crisis, that it’s actually an awakening. And when we stop resisting change and start listening to what our emotions and our bodies are telling us, that we can step into this next phase of life with more ease, more confidence and clarity. So, here’s what I want you to do next.

First, try the body scan exercise that Sarah shared. Just take a few minutes, tune into where you feel the tension and see what emotions come up. You might be surprised at what you discover. If today’s conversation resonated with you, go check out Sarah’s website at sarahsparks.love.

And if you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend. So many women in midlife are struggling with the same feelings of disconnection and overwhelm. And they might not even realize that emotional healing is part of the solution.

If there’s one thing, I want you to take away from our conversation, it’s that you don’t have to carry emotional baggage forever. Just like we take care of our bodies by eating well and moving, we need to take care of our emotions so that we can feel lighter, freer, and more at peace.

Thank you for spending all this time with me today. I love having these conversations with you and I hope they help you to feel stronger, more empowered, and more at home in your body. I’ll see you next time on the total health and midlife podcast. Until then, have an amazing day. I’ll talk to you later. Bye-bye.

Thank you for joining us on today’s episode. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the plethora of health advice out there and are looking for something straightforward, our ‘8 Basic Habits that Healthy People Do’ guide and checklist is just what you need. It breaks down essential habits into simple, actionable steps that you already know how to do. By following these habits, you’ll set yourself on a path to better health, surpassing most people you know. To get your free copy, just click the link in the show notes. It’s an easy start, but it could make all the difference in your health journey. Grab your guide today and take the first step towards a healthier you.