Goal Setting Series #3: Navigating Obstacles

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, there’s always something that gets in the way of your goals? Maybe it’s time slipping away, or maybe it’s the struggle to say no to others and to prioritize your own needs. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.

In today’s third episode of our goal setting series, we are tackling one of the most significant challenges that we face. Navigating obstacles in goal setting.

But here’s the twist. We’re not just talking about any obstacles, we’re focusing on those that hit close to home, the ones that make us question our ability to succeed. We’ll explore practical strategies, share a relatable story, and offer a new perspective on how to turn those obstacles into stepping stones.

So, if you’re ready to transform the way you approach your goals, and learn how to navigate through life’s inevitable challenges, this episode is a must listen. You do not want to miss these insights. They might be a game changer that you’ve been looking for.

Welcome to Total Health and Midlife, the podcast for women embracing the pivotal transformation from the daily grind to the dawn of a new chapter. I’m Elizabeth, your host and fellow traveler on this journey.

As a Life and Health Coach, I am intimately familiar with the changes and challenges we face during this stage. Shifting careers, changing relationships, our new bodies, and redefining goals and needs as we start to look to the future and ask, what do I want?

In this podcast, we’ll explore physical, mental, and emotional wellness, offering insights and strategies to achieve optimal health through these transformative years.

Yes, it’s totally possible.

Join me in this amazing journey of body, mind, and spirit, where we’re not just improving our health, but transforming our entire lives.

Hey everyone, welcome back to our special goal setting series. I am so glad you’re here with us today, continuing our journey through the world of goal setting, especially tailored for women in midlife.

Now, in our last episode, we talked about understanding and overcoming common myths in goal setting. We dove into how these myths can cloud our judgment and lead us away from what truly matters to us.

So, today, we’re shifting gears a little and tackling a critical aspect of goal setting, navigating obstacles.

Now, let’s get real for a second. Setting goals is one thing, but the path to achieving them isn’t always smooth. It’s like planning a road trip. You know your destination, but you’re bound to hit some traffic or roadblocks along the way. The key is not just setting the destination, but also in being prepared for the bumps along the road. Navigating obstacles is crucial, especially for women in midlife.

Our lives are full of rich experiences, responsibilities, and yes, unexpected challenges. These challenges can impact our health both mentally and physically if we’re not careful. It’s not just about reaching our goals; it’s about doing it in a way that maintains our well-being and our happiness.

This episode is all about recognizing those obstacles, big and small, and learning how to handle them without losing sight of our goals, or sacrificing our health. It’s about finding that balance where we can stay true to our objectives while navigating the complexity of our lives.

So, if you’re ready to learn how to smoothly sail through these challenges and keep your goals on track, then this episode is just for you.

Now, let’s talk about one of the biggest obstacles that we all face in achieving our goals. Time. It’s the one resource that we can’t get more of. And yet, it often feels like it’s slipping through our fingers.

As we navigate through our busy lives filled with family, work, and other personal commitments. Finding time for our goals can feel like trying to grasp water. It’s there, but it just doesn’t seem to stay in our hands. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking. Oh, things will slow down like next week, and then I’ll have time for my goals.

But let’s face it. When has life ever really slowed down? If anything, it tends to pick up pace. Throwing more curveballs than we sometimes feel like we can handle at a time. We wait for that perfect time to start working on our goals, not realizing that the perfect time is a myth.

Life doesn’t pause, it keeps moving, and our goals need to move with it. This is where the importance of a contingency plan comes in. Just like we need to have backup plans for other important aspects of our lives, we also need to have one for our goals too.

It’s about being proactive, not reactive. When we wait for our lives to give us time, we’re being reactive. But when we create a plan for those inevitably busy periods, we take control and we become proactive.

So, creating a contingency plan means looking at our schedules and realistically assessing where our time is going. It’s about understanding that some days will be packed and finding small pockets of time where we can make progress towards our goals.

It could be as simple as dedicating 15 minutes in the morning to planning or using a bit of time in the evening to reflect and prepare on the next day. It’s about making our goals a non-negotiable part of our daily lives, no matter how busy we get.

And here’s the thing. It’s not just about finding time; it’s about making time. This means prioritizing ourselves and our goals. It’s easy to put everyone else’s needs before our own. But your goals and your well-being are just as important. It’s about saying, yeah, I’m busy, but I and what I want is also important. My goals are important.

So, let’s stop waiting for the time to find us. Let’s grab it, make the most of it, and weave it into the fabric of our everyday lives. By creating a contingency plan, we’re not just planning for busy times. We are empowering ourselves to keep moving forward no matter what life throws our way.

Having recognized time as our stealthy opponent in goal achievement, let’s shift to our first strategy, planning for busy time. It’s all about anticipation and preparation. Let’s start by acknowledging something essential. Our days are often unpredictable. We can plan all we want, but life has its own agenda.

Despite this, there is an immense power in preparation. Anticipating busier times isn’t about predicting the future, it’s about understanding patterns and preparing for the inevitable ebbs and flows of life.

The first step is to be realistic about our time commitments and our priorities. This means taking a hard, honest look at our daily schedules and identifying where our time is truly going.

Are there recurring periods where work ramps up? Do family commitments tend to increase at certain times of the year? Recognizing these patterns allows us to foresee and plan around our busier times.

Once we identify these potential busy periods, the next step is to think strategically about maintaining focus on our goals. This might involve adjusting our goals slightly during these times. It’s not about lowering our standards, but rather adapting our approach.

For instance, if you have a fitness goal and know that next month is packed with work commitments, plan shorter, more intense workouts. Or maybe focus more on nutrition during that time. Another tip is to utilize planning tools. Whether it’s a digital calendar, a planner app, or a good old fashioned pen and paper, use whatever tools work best for you visually to map out your time.

Seeing your commitments laid out can be incredibly enlightening. It helps you to spot potential busy periods and plan your goal related activities around them.

We need to be open to the idea of flexible goal setting. Because life isn’t static, and our goal setting approach shouldn’t be either. But if a busy period is coming up, consider how you can adjust your goals to fit into that time frame. Maybe it means breaking down your goals into smaller manageable tasks or setting aside a specific time each day, no matter how brief, dedicated solely to your goal.

Finally, don’t forget to communicate with those around you. If you foresee a busy period, Let your family or colleagues know that you might need extra support or understanding as you try to balance your commitments. This isn’t about seeking help. It’s about creating a supportive environment for your goals to thrive.

In essence, planning for busy times is about being realistic, adaptable, and proactive. By anticipating these periods and adjusting our strategies accordingly, we empower ourselves to stay on track with our goals, regardless of life’s pace.

Now, let’s explore our second strategy in navigating obstacles. Learning to say no. I know, you’re like, ah, I don’t like that word. This is a powerful tool in our goal setting arsenal. Yet so many of us Find it incredibly difficult to use. Because saying no is often seen as a negative response, especially for women.

But in the context of goal setting and self-care, it’s a profound act of self-love and self-prioritization. The challenge here is real. As women, especially women that have been doing this for 50 some years, we are often juggling so many different roles. We are parents, partners, professionals, caregivers, and so much more.

In trying to be everything to everyone, we sometimes forget that the most important person in the equation is ourselves. And this is where saying no becomes not just necessary, but essential.

Saying no, isn’t about being selfish or uncaring. It’s about recognizing and honoring your needs and limitations. It’s acknowledging that you cannot pour from an empty cup. And to be your best for others, you need to be your best for yourself. It’s a shift from the mindset of obligation to one of mindful choice.

But how do we say no without feeling guilty or causing upset? So, here are some tips. First, be clear and direct. Sometimes we try to soften our no to the point where it becomes ambiguous. Be clear and direct, but also kind. A simple, I appreciate your request, but I can’t commit to that right now is often enough.

Two. Explain, but don’t over justify. You have every right to prioritize your time and goals. A brief explanation can help the other person understand your stance but avoid over justifying. Some of us do that. You don’t owe anyone an extensive explanation for taking care of your needs.

Three. Offer alternatives. If possible and if you want, suggest an alternative. For example, I can’t help with this now, but how about next week? This shows your willingness to help, not just at the expense of your current priorities.

Next, practice. Saying no can be uncomfortable at first. Practice it in low stakes situations to build your confidence. The more you do it, the more natural it will become.

Every time you say no to something that doesn’t align with your goals or doesn’t serve your well-being, you’re saying yes to yourself and to your priorities. It’s about making choices that align with your journey and respecting your own boundaries.

By learning to say no, we take a significant step in navigating obstacles on our path to achieving our goals. It’s about creating space for what truly matters and honoring the commitments that we’ve made to ourselves.

I want to tell you a story about my client Jen, who perfectly encapsulates the struggle with time management and prioritizing self-care against the whirlwind of midlife responsibilities.

Now, Jen’s story isn’t just a narrative, it’s a reflection of the challenges that so many of us face and the strategies that can lead us to triumph. Jen is a professional at a high pressure job, and a daughter to aging parents, and a mother to a daughter who’s facing her own challenges at school.

Jen’s life, like many of ours is a balancing act of demands and responsibilities. Inside of this, Jen’s commitment to her personal health and goals often took a backseat. She found herself constantly torn between the needs of her family, her professional obligations, and her own well-being.

One critical realization that we had with Jen was the importance of not being too hard on herself.

In midlife, things like a poor night’s sleep due to night sweats or insomnia are not uncommon. When these incidents occurred, Jen often chose to forego her morning workouts. The key lesson here was teaching Jen to not beat herself up for those decisions.

We worked on understanding that if a decision is made for reasons that she liked, it’s 100% unfair and unproductive to later beat yourself up for not adhering rigidly to that set plan.

This understanding was a game changer for her. It’s about acknowledging that struggles will always arise. And that our response to these challenges is what shapes our long term success. Giving up is easy, and it’s staying the course with kindness and understanding towards oneself that’s the real victory. We also revisited the goals that Jen had set for herself.

In the first episode of this series, we discussed setting realistic goals. Jen’s situation was a prime example of how sometimes our goals don’t align with our lifestyle. We are not designed to function flawlessly under all circumstances. We are human, and humans have needs that sometimes includes downtime.

This realization helped Jen recalibrate her goals to be more in sync with her life’s realities. Jen’s journey wasn’t about creating a flawless routine. It was about developing a sustainable one. One that involves creating a flexible workout schedule and that accommodated the unexpected turns of her life.

It meant prioritizing self-care activities that were not just about physical health, but also about her mental well-being. And more importantly, it involved learning to say no to others and her own inner critic. This wasn’t just about setting boundaries with others, but also setting a compassionate boundary with herself.

Through this journey, Jen learned to navigate her time and prioritize her well being. Not by adhering to a rigid plan, but by being adaptable, being kind to herself, and realistic about what was achievable.

Her story is a powerful testament to the fact that success in our goals, especially in midlife is as much about the kindness that we show ourselves as it is about the strategies that we employ.

Jen’s story is our story too. It’s a reminder that in the pursuit of our goals, we need to be our own best supporters, not our harshest critics. It’s about finding that harmony between pushing forward and stepping back when we need. And most importantly, it’s about understanding that our well-being is the foundation upon which all our goals rest.

Now, as we draw near to the end of our episode today, I want to encourage you to take a moment and reflect on your own journey. Think about the obstacles that you’re currently facing in achieving your goals. Maybe it’s time management, maybe it’s saying no, or perhaps it’s something else entirely.

Whatever it is, approach it with curiosity not criticism. Curiosity is a super powerful tool. It allows us to look at our challenges objectively and compassionately. It’s about asking, why is this obstacle here? And then, what can I learn from this? Rather than, berating ourselves for not overcoming it immediately and not expecting it in the first place.

Every obstacle is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and grow. Now, here’s what I want you to do. Identify one specific obstacle that you’re facing. It could be something that you’ve been avoiding or something that you’ve just realized.

Once you’ve identified it, I want you to create a plan to overcome it. This plan doesn’t have to be elaborate. It could be as simple as setting aside 10 minutes a day for yourself or practicing saying no once a week. The key here is to start small and to be consistent.

You are not alone in this journey. If you find yourself needing support or guidance, I’m here for you. You can always reach out and schedule a call with me for personalized help. Together, we can work through your obstacles and keep you moving forward towards your goals.

As we wrap up today’s episode, I want to remind you of some valuable resources that can further support you on this journey. If you’re looking for more insights on time management and setting boundaries, check out the previous podcast episodes that dive into these topics.

They are packed with practical advice and strategies to help you navigate these common obstacles. And the links to those podcast episodes will be in the show notes.

Also, don’t forget about the Facebook group, “8 Basic Habits that Healthy Women in Midlife Do.” It’s a wonderful community where you can share your experiences, ask questions, and find support from women just like you. I highly encourage you to join and engage with this supportive network.

And finally, let’s remember navigating obstacles is an integral part of goal setting. It’s not just about the destination, it’s about the journey and how we grow along the way. Embrace these challenges, learn from them, and let them strengthen your resolve.

Alright, thank you for joining me today. Keep going, keep growing. And remember, you have the strength and resilience to overcome any obstacle that comes your way.

That’s all I have for you today. Have an amazing day everyone. Talk to you next time. Bye-bye.

Thank you for tuning in today. Now, if you enjoy the podcast and are ready to take the next step in addressing your health concerns, I would love to invite you to schedule an I Know What To Do, I’m Just Not Doing It strategy call.

In this 60 minute session, we will explore what’s holding you back and create a personalized action plan. You will gain clarity, support, and practical steps to move you forward. Visit elizabethsherman.com/call to book your call now. You can transform your health and I would love to be there to help.