A phrase that has been popping up for me recently has been, “who you are becoming is far more important than what you are doing. And yet, it’s what you are doing that is shaping who you are becoming.”
You can’t change your past. However, you can actively shape who you desire to be. Your past experiences do not determine what you can accomplish in life moving forward. We can change who we are becoming – and chart out a future that we want instead of letting the choices of the day determine our future.
In this super vulnerable episode, I’ve started a project where I’m publicly stating my goals for the next 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years – and then as those milestones come to pass, I’ll reflect on how things have changed, what I learned, and who I had to become in order to accomplish the goals that I set out for myself.
If you want to take the work we’re doing here on the podcast and go even deeper, you need to join the Feel Good Sisterhood - my group coaching program for women in midlife who are done with dieting, but still want to feel good! The Feel Good Sisterhood is open for enrollment, so click here to discover if group coaching is a right fit for you and your goals.
For even more resources on becoming healthier, get my free download: 8 Basic Habits that Healthy People Do. If you do these 8 things on a consistent basis, you will be healthier than most people you know, and your body will right-size!
I am so excited to hear what you all think about the podcast – if you have any feedback, please let me know! You can leave me a rating and review in Apple Podcasts, which helps me create an excellent show and helps other women who want to get off the diet roller coaster find it, too.
What you’ll Learn from this Episode
- How to create goals that really tap into the person who you will be.
- Why you want to be able to create goals from your future self.
- How goal setting from your future-self can be powerful, and then writing them down, or stating them publicly.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Done with Dieting Podcast Episode #99: Letters to My Past-Selves
- Done with Dieting Podcast Episode #26: Goal Setting Episode
- Done with Dieting Podcast Episode #22: The power of Visualization
- Be Your Future Self Now, Benjamin Hardy
Full Episode Transcript:
What are your goals? Do you know that by writing your goals down, you have a 40% more chance of being successful? And if you write them down on a regular basis, that just compounds the effect. But what about publicly stating your goals? There are a few advantages to publicly stating your goals. By publicly declaring your goals, it helps you to articulate them. It pushes you through your comfort zone and past your fear. It creates an automatic accountability system for yourself, and it puts the law of reciprocity into effect.
On today’s episode, I’m getting vulnerable with you because I’m embarking on a project where I’m publicly stating my six month, one year, two year, three year, five year, and 10 year goals! And then as those milestones approach in the future of this podcast, I’ll be comparing where I am in the future to the goal that I set today.
Sounds like fun? I’m inviting you to follow along. Let’s go.
You are listening to the done with dieting podcast. The podcast for women in midlife, who are done with dieting, but still want to lose weight and feel good in your clothes.
You know that diets don’t work long term. But you feel like there’s this secret that everyone else knows that you just haven’t figured it out yet.
I am your host, Elizabeth Sherman. And I’ve helped hundreds of women get off the diet roller coaster, change their relationship with food, exercise, and their bodies.
Through this podcast, my goal is to help you too.
Welcome. Let’s get started.
Hey everyone, welcome to the Done with Dieting podcast episode number 100. Can you believe it? When I started this podcast two years ago, it seemed like it would take me forever to get here. And just like with anything like with habits, weight loss, anything that we do. We just have to keep plugging at it week after week, day after day, and eventually those wins add up.
You know it’s really a very fantastic analogy for weight loss. Like you don’t lose 100 pounds, you lose one pound over and over and over again. And to you, when you’re in the journey, it feels like, Ugh, this isn’t coming fast enough. But when you can look back at your journey and see everything that has added up to where you are today, it gives you such a sense of accomplishment. Which is why I’m doing something a little bit special for this.
Now, if you’ve been following long, you know that I’ve been promoting this 100 episodes for a while now. And initially, it started out with, gosh, I’m coming up against 100 episodes. What am I going to do? How am I going to commemorate this event? Actually, it took me a really long time to figure it all out.
I was reading this book called ‘Be Your Future Self Now.’ I was reading it on the beach. I was with some friends. And in the book, the author gave a case study of this YouTuber called Mr. Beast. And he was talking about how Mr. Beast, which is just a silly name, right? That Mr. Beast publicly declared. What he did was he created a series of short videos and he did them rather off the cuff.
What he did was he just recorded these videos to his future selves, his version of what he would be in six months, I think it was a year. Two years, five years, and then I think 10 years. And he put out some goals and just by sheer stating his goals. He was able to crush them.
And so, what I thought about was how powerful could it be for you, the listener, to understand what my process is when I’m creating my goals and what that looks like. And also, what it does, is it puts my feet to the fire. Now, I’ll have to tell you that sharing my goals publicly, and I’m not sharing all of my goals because there are a couple that are really personal that I’m not going to be sharing online.
However, by sharing my goals publicly, what it does is it makes me accountable. We’ve heard the adage before that if you want to succeed in your goals, you have to make your goals public. Otherwise, you’re not going to take them seriously. Just by writing your goals down, you have a 40% higher chance of actually accomplishing them, than if you don’t tell anyone about them.
By just writing your goals down, what it does is it makes them a little bit more real. And for a while, I haven’t been doing this recently. But for the first few years of my business, I actually wrote my goals down every single day. I may start doing that again because I actually got really good results from doing it. And I have a podcast on goal setting, which I talk a little bit about but what I’m going to do, how this is actually going to come out is that in this episode today, I am going to address the version of me, who exists in the future.
So, last episode, episode number 99. What I did was I made peace with my past. I wrote letters to the past version of myself. And in doing so, what I did was I really acknowledged all of the work that I have done to get me to where I am today. I acknowledged where I was at different phases in my life and I told myself how proud I was for overcoming those because you know, what? To be honest, if the 20 year old version of me saw me today, the present version, she would be blown away. She would be like, I don’t know how the heck we got there, but I am so glad that we did.
Even the person who I was 10 years ago would have no idea who I am today. And so, with that in mind, most of us spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about our past. And also, using our past as evidence of what we’re capable of in the future. We don’t go for goals because we’re like, I’ve never done that before. I’m not qualified, especially women. Right?
But here’s the thing if we use our past to define our future, all we’re doing is re-living our past. Yes, our past behavior does predict to a certain extent what our future behavior will be. But it doesn’t have to. We can actually move outside of the box that we’ve created for ourselves and do something amazing and great that we’ve never accomplished before.
The difference is opening your mind to possibility. And that’s exactly what I want you to take away from this episode. What I want you to take away from this episode is what is possible for you just by opening your eyes, by opening your brain, by opening your imagination.
You may not have the same goals that I do. You probably don’t. Because quite honestly, none of the goals that I’m going to be talking about today are health goals or weight loss goals. I’ve done that. I’m fine. But you might have those goals. And so, how do you employ these methods in order to become the person that you want to be?
Because here’s the thing. When we go through a transformation, when we lose weight, or when we open up a business, or when we quit a job, or have a baby, or whatever it is, whatever changes we’re having in our lives, we have to become a different version of ourselves in order to succeed at that.
So, one of the questions that I’m going to be asking myself in each of the different phases that I’m going to talk about is who do I need to become in order to accomplish this goal. Now, here’s what’s going to happen. I am going to address the different versions of me in the future, version of me in six months, the version of me in a year, the version of me in two years, three years, five years, and ten years. I have no idea who I’m going to be in 10 years. But I have dreams about what is possible.
There’s a really good quote by Bill Gates that says, most people overestimate what they can get done in a day and underestimate what they can accomplish in a year. And that is so incredibly true, how much we put on our to-do lists for the day, we overcommit ourselves.
But every single day, if we keep at doing something that we want, that something that’s important to us. If we have grit and sticktoitiveness, what we can do is we can accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. And so, that’s what I want to inspire you to do in this episode.
So again, I’m going to be addressing myself in six months, a year, two years, three years, five years, and ten years. And then, when those podcast episodes air, I’m going to compare what you’re listening to today to where I actually am in that future. So, episode number 125 in six months, episode number 150 in one year, episode number 200 in two years, episode 250 in three years, and then episode 450 in five years. And I have no idea what if I’m going to be doing podcasting in ten years. Hopefully, I will. But yeah, we’ll see what happens in ten years.
And so, just by publicly stating what my dreams and goals are for these different milestones, I am immediately going to be changing my future. So, I’m going to invite you to play along with me. Tell me what your goals are so that I can help cheer you on and you can do this with me.
So, let’s get started.
Okay. Episode number 125, the version of me who exists in six months. What am I doing? How am I thinking? How am I feeling? In this episode today, we’re going to be talking a lot about business. However, I want you to be aware that there are also a lot of personal transformation that’s going on.
The version of me, who exists in six months from now, so it’s going to be July of 2023, episode number 125. What milestones have I accomplished within the past six months? Wow, that is a really good question. I don’t know. The version of me who exists in six months is probably pretty close to the version of me who exists today.
Now, over the past year, I’ve been working a lot on getting rid of my people pleasing tendencies. And I don’t think that that work is ever going to be done. I think that that’s just part of I don’t want to say my personality, but it’s how I was raised as a woman and it’s just part of our culture. So, I think that challenging myself to go against people pleasing is always going to be a struggle for me.
So, I imagine that the version of me in six months is going to be working on that. What I’ve recently started working on and I assume that the six month version of me is also going to be working on is really having my own back and loving myself through judgment, through failures, and really being able to hold space for myself even when things don’t work out.
Now, I imagine that the version of me in six months is going to be struggling a lot with asking. So, asking people to do things that makes me feel really uncomfortable. I have some big dreams that you’re going to find out about in the rest of this podcast. In the next six months, I’m actually going to be laying the foundation of that. And part of that is reaching out to people, making connections, networking, and asking for things that it makes me feel really uncomfortable to do.
Now, as far as my business goes, hopefully at this point you will have learned that I’m marketing a retreat. So, I have two different retreat ideas. One is a one on one retreat idea where you would come to Mexico. We would spend time together and really do a V I P intensive of your health. And then, the other retreat is probably going to be more of a regular thing where I host events and that would happen once or twice a year, and it’s going to be small groups.
So hopefully, if I’m doing everything right, I have started marketing my retreat. We have a date, and we have everything that’s falling into place about that. Now, one of the questions that I’m going to ask myself in each of these little vignettes is how do I feel? And to tell you the truth, I feel scared. I have a ton of self-doubts. Is anyone going to want a retreat? Is anyone going to want to spend time with me? What’s happening in the world? Yeah, I have a ton of self-doubts.
However, the other thing that I have is I have conviction. And I also have a lot of belief that what I’m doing is the right path. I feel very strong in alignment that what I’m doing within my business is what women want and what women need. And so, the version of me in six months is working on self-love, self-acceptance, having my own back regardless of what’s happening around me. So, being able to have a failure and have things not go exactly as planned and yet not talk bad to myself about what’s happening.
One of the questions that I’m going to be asking at the end of each of these goals is who do I have to become in order to make this goal happen? Because the person that we are right now, the reason that we don’t have the results is because we don’t have the skills, and abilities, and the feeling, and the belief in order to actually do it. Otherwise, we would already have it.
So, who do I need to become in six months in order to start marketing my retreat and to grow my business as I’m planning? And the answer to that is I need to be someone who’s shedding the judgements and beliefs that I think other people are having towards me. I need to shed the self-doubt and I need to be someone who trusts her instincts and is able to have her own back and is able to love herself in spite of any failures that might occur.
Yeah. And I think that’s about it. As far as my impact goes, I’m still trying to get in front of as many women as possible. So, if you would, I’m going to plug my podcast here. If you would, leave a rating and review that will help get this podcast into the hands of other women who are looking for this information. So that they too can be free from dieting and be free from that inner critic that they have in their heads.
So, as you’re listening to this, please help us out. Help all of the women out and create a rating and review. All right? So, that is me, in six months. Let’s see what we have to say to the version of me who exists in a year.
All right. Now, it’s December 2023 and this is my one year goal. It’s December 2023, and I am so dang proud of myself for who I’ve become and what I’ve accomplished. This year, I’ve consistently done the uncomfortable things. I’ve failed, and in the process, I’ve made a lot of progress. This year, I’ve been primarily focusing on my relationship with myself.
And truly loving myself and having my own back even when things don’t turn out as planned. And it has carried over into all of the other areas of my life. I am more confident with who I am now than I’ve ever been before. And in the past year, I’ve learned how to advocate for myself while being kind in the process.
This year, I’ve either completed or I am working towards my Master Coach certification. I’ve earned $250,000 this year, and I’ve helped over a hundred women stop dieting, eat right for their body, and be able to understand what their inner authority is telling them. They’ve been able to reclaim their internal knowing. And we’ve been able to do that through the lens of the feminist coaching certification that I did a year ago, that I completed a year ago.
This year, I’ve been working on relationships, and I’ve been creating deeper, more impactful relationships with the people around me and myself. The feelings that I have right now are being proud. Definitely, love and confidence, but also compassion.
And so, who do I need to become in order to achieve this goal? I have to realize that women want to be invited to work with me. People are excited about what I’m doing. And they want to support me. I have to remember that. And I also want to remember that most people don’t know what I know. I have had this belief in the past that everyone knows the same things that I do. So, who am I to talk about these things? But yet, I have so much incredible experience to offer.
Okay, podcast number 200.
It’s December of 2024, and this year has been a year of retooling. After my amazing year of growth last year, although it feels like I’ve been stagnant, the truth is that I’ve been living into this new version of myself. I’ve needed some time to just accept and figure out, let all of the dust settle.
So, the truth is that I’ve been living into this new version of myself and resisting having to move on to the next big thing, needing to prove myself. Taking two steps forward and pausing to let things settle. That’s been my motto this year. Just let it settle and let it go.
The retreats that I’ve been hosting have been so incredibly transformational, not only for me but they’ve also been incredibly transformational for the women who’ve attended my retreats. I am over the moon at the transformation that these women have gotten. And their results are noticeable, and their friends and family are noticing as well.
My impact is far more than just weight loss, food, and exercise. The way that I’m coaching my clients today helps them to uncover who they are in life and what it is that they desire, which is something that they’ve covered up for years living in the society that we live in.
One thing that is so super cool is that I’ve hit 1 million downloads all time for my podcast, and I’ve had some incredible guests. And standing out as a thought leader has really garnered me to a number of interview requests for some major podcasts. It’s so exciting. As such, I’m regularly being asked to speak at corporate events and lead corporate wellness retreats here in Mexico.
So, who do I have to be? Who do I have to become in order to achieve this goal? I am someone who believes that my message is incredibly important and that no one else is speaking about the topics that I’m speaking on in the way that I’m addressing them. Although, I’m still addressing women’s health, I’m doing it in a way that empowers women to advocate for themselves.
It’s completely inspiring.
Podcast number 250.
So, it’s December 2025 and I’m finishing up writing my book. As far as my business goes, writing a book has been one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done. But I’m completely inspired with the sheer volume of women that this book will help.
Writing a book has been something that’s been on my mind for a long time, and I finally feel like the time is right. This year, I have a ton to celebrate because my impact in the world is getting larger and more vast. I know that the 25 year old version of me would be blown away by what I’ve been able to accomplish, and it is mind blowing.
As a kid who is diagnosed with a learning disability, the fact that I’ve written a book just proves to you that you are capable of great things. All you have to do is have a little bit of imagination and the drive to put your dreams into action.
So, who do I have to become in order to achieve this goal? My identity is that I’m a thought leader. I’m a businesswoman and the CEO of my company.
I have an amazing group of employees who I could not have accomplished what I’ve done without them. As such, I have had to grow in self-concept as the leader that I am today. I’m decisive, kind, loving, and I am fierce in setting and enforcing my boundaries.
I’ve become someone who asks for what she wants, and I don’t judge others for doing the same. It’s the only way that we’re going to get our needs met. As women, we no longer wait with the good girl energy and hope that someone will think of us and give us what we deserve or need, I don’t know. We need to go out and take it. As a result, I’m unapologetic about earning half a million dollars, and this will help me create my 10 year goal.
At this point, I have a better work life balance than I’ve ever had before.
Podcast number 450, 5 years.
It’s the end of 2027 and I’m approaching my 59th birthday. I’m healthy. I’m still exercising regularly, and recently I’ve incorporated more yoga and low impact exercise as I age. My body just can’t take the pounding as it used to when it was a younger woman. However, I still love lifting weights and running as my body allows.
I feel a deep respect for my body, and I treat it as well as I can without limiting my social interactions and feeling like I’ve become too strict. Like I can’t do stuff in the name of health. My relationships are the strongest that they’ve ever been because I’m true to myself and what I want, and those who love me know what to expect.
Some people that I’ve loved aren’t physically with us anymore, but because relationships are all in our heads, I’m still in relationship with them. I have no regrets in how I’ve shown up in those relationships. My business is fun, and I love that I’m still being asked to speak at events on women’s health and empowerment.
Although, my book might not be a best seller because it doesn’t appeal to more than half the population. It’s only for women. It is a favorite for women who are approaching and in the midst of midlife to help them make sense of all the challenges that we face. It’s become a handbook of sorts, how to menopause and I could not be more grateful.
Gratitude, self-love, kindness, and compassion are my predominant emotions these days. Who do I have to become in order to achieve this goal? I’ve always been driven. I have to believe that I have something to offer special in the world. And that’s what I’m offering is what women want. I have to be unapologetic in asking for what I want and not be worried if others will judge me in the process.
I love myself the most of anyone else. And as a result, I am willing to risk it all for the vision I have of my future.
Ten years, age 65.
I have started and I’m running a non-profit organization for women. My business funds almost all of it, and the rest of the funding comes from donations, both individual and grants. I came up with this idea for a non-profit in 2017 when it became obvious that things were shifting away from women being able to have autonomy over their bodies and their choices.
What the nonprofit does is it teaches women the technology, organizational, and life skills that they need to create and build a home based business, like being a virtual assistant, for example. So that they can earn their own money and therefore have the economic power to not be trapped in relationships or circumstances that don’t allow them to live the life they desire.
Just because these women were unable to make the choice about what they wanted to do with their body. Doesn’t mean that they can’t make choices for the future. I don’t know if any of these goals are going to come to fruition, to be honest. But putting it out there it makes it that much more possible that it’s actually going to happen. So, I feel a deep sense of purpose to publicly proclaim these goals.
So, who do I have to become in order to achieve this goal? I don’t even know. It’s unfathomable to me, who am I going to be in 10 years? I have to believe that it is possible for me to run a non-profit remotely because I still live in Mexico. I have to believe that this is my ultimate legacy since I don’t have kids.
I want to be open and loving and at the same time don’t settle for less than what I want. I am excellent at what I do. And that’s not the same as being a perfectionist. I understand and live the difference.
So, what is the feeling that I have now that I’ve accomplished these results? This has been the most rewarding experience of my life. It’s been a labor of love, and I’m both inspired and driven. This work is so important because it’s so much larger than myself. And its impact is 100 fold moving forward. By helping women live better lives, they are being an example of what’s possible for their children.
So, I thought it might be fun to write a letter from the 64 year old version of me to the person I am today. That version of me, who I just created, who’s running the nonprofit. So, how does the 64 year old version of Elizabeth think of me, 54 year old version of me?
I love you. You are infinitely incredible and such an amazing woman. I am so grateful to you for everything you’re doing to pave the way and make life easier for me. I have so much gratitude towards you. You’re trying so hard. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, not even yourself. You are inherently worthy just as you are.
If I had one wish for you, it would be to enjoy life more. Relax. You’re living an incredible life in Mexico. It’s all going to be okay in the future. And just like before, it’s going to be better than you could possibly even imagine. Love Gary more. Spend more time connecting with him. You’re never going to get that time back.
I love that you’ve become more present because every time you stop an imprint, a moment that you’re having in your memory, the expressions that everyone has on their faces around the table, the air temperature. The wind on your skin. What you hear, the music. How the light reflects and the smells that are wafting through the air. I still get to experience it too because of those vivid memories.
My life has become so incredibly rich because of all the work that you’ve done. I could not be more grateful to you. Going forward, you’re going to meet so many incredible people who you will love. I mean, think about that. There are people walking around in the world right now who you haven’t met yet. Who are going to have a huge and profound influence on your life in a good way.
There are people who I love that you haven’t even met yet. I cannot wait for you to meet them. It’s going to be so freaking amazing.
Thank you all for being here today. That’s all I have for you. Happy 100th episode, and I will see y’all next week. Bye-bye.
Hey, Thanks for listening.
If you’re done with dieting and would like to work with me as your coach, I’d like to invite you to reach out to myself and my team to ask about programs and pricing. Go to elizabethsherman.com/contact to get started today. I can’t wait to hear from you. See you next week.
Enjoy the Show?
- Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify and subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or RSS.
- Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts.
- Join the conversation by connecting with me on Social!