228 – Jodi Silverman

Jodi: [00:00:00] I love the word. The word is very playful and fun for me. And everything I do has to have some fun and playfulness about it. And it just, I was like, yeah, daring. Yeah. We’re going to moms who dare. Let’s dare. And just caught on. And I started posting the group who wants to go to a movie at 10:30 in the morning with me. Who wants to go ax throwing? Who wants to go for a walk, a hike? And people started showing up.

Elizabeth: Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions, checking boxes, doing what you’re supposed to but wondering, ‘is this all there really is?’ Now, if that rings true for you, today’s episode is for you. I’m talking with my new friend, Jodi Silverman, and let me just tell you, you are going to love her energy.

She is just infectious. She is the founder of the Moms who dare community and speaker who helps women in midlife discover purpose, connection, and fun. And she is [00:01:00] fun, by the way. By doing something really super simple. Daring. Not skydiving, not doing something wild or unrealistic. We’re talking about doable dares, like smiling, like laughing, like saying, yes to something that feels a little new or different.

In this episode, you’ll learn why stepping out of your comfort zone just a little, can dramatically improve your mood, your confidence, and even your health. The five types of dares that Jodi swears by, and these are all things that you can do today, and how play isn’t just for kids. It’s actually a gateway to joy, creativity, and connection.

We will also talk about how so many of us, myself included, were taught to be serious growing up. And how that might be robbing us of some of the lightness and fun that we are craving now. So, if you’ve been feeling a little [00:02:00] flat, like something is missing, but you’re not sure what. I want you to listen in.

This conversation is filled with easy ways to shift your energy, reconnect with yourself, and start feeling more like you again. So, let’s dive in.

All right, everyone, welcome Jodi to the Total Health and Midlife Podcast. Jodi, I’m so excited that you’re here. I was on Jodi’s podcast a few weeks ago and we have just become fast friends. I cannot wait for you all to meet her because you are going to love her just as much as I do. So, Jodi, [00:03:00] welcome to the show. Tell everyone who you are, what you do, how you help them and what we’re going to talk about today?

Jodi: Yeah. Well, Hi, Elizabeth. Thanks for having me on the show. I so loved hosting you. Yes, instant fast friends when you connect over, you know, like minded humans. So, I’m Jodi Silverman. I like to call myself the dare on speaker. I empower women to move through fear and doubt, and discover purpose, fulfillment, and fun. Because it’s just what we deserve in this next chapter. I support a lot of moms through the life transition of emptiness, but truth be told, there’s a lot of transitions in midlife. Including emptiness, aging parents, and, you know, retirement. Figuring out like, who we want to be and what we want to do with this time that we have in this next chapter. Because we don’t always want to be a lawyer, be the executive.

So, that’s what I do. I support these women that follow me that are part of my moms who [00:04:00] dare community through that community, through my speaking, community meetups online, and my podcast beyond empty nest.

Elizabeth: Amazing. So, tell me about the dare. I don’t know that we talked about this before, like how did you come up with this idea? Like how did it become a solution to a problem that you saw?

Jodi: It’s a great story. It goes to the dare of saying, yes. Say yes to opportunities when you’re presented with them because you never know who you’ll meet or what will happen. So, I said yes to going to a local chamber of commerce, women’s empowerment event. They have it every year and I went. And I went to this one alone. I was supposed to go with a friend. She bailed for some reason and I walked in the room alone as much as I’m an extrovert like everybody else. Who wants to walk into a room of 350 people alone?

But I really wanted to hear the keynote speaker. Her name is Lu Ann Cahn. She’s an eight time Emmy award winning journalist from my hometown, Philadelphia. And she [00:05:00] was talking about her new book that was called ‘I Dare Me.’ How she did something new every day for a year to reboot and recharge her life to get unstuck. And we got a goodie bag and in the bag was a copy of  Lu Ann’s book.

And I was sitting there and there were about 350 other women and I was at a table of eight. And I remember I had this moment. This moment where the room went silent and  Lu Ann was just talking to me. And she was up there and she kept using the word daring. And the meaning for her was to dare to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. And she defined something new for her journey. As something she hadn’t done in 10 years or longer.

Elizabeth: Okay.

Jodi: So, it could be that she decided to learn how to hula hoop again. She had not done that since she was a child. It could be that she spent a day walking backwards, talking to strangers. She jumped out of an airplane. She did dares that give back and she volunteered. And so, I’m [00:06:00] sitting there, Elizabeth, and she’s just talking about this and I literally had that moment where I said, that’s what I’m doing.

I’m daring. I’ve been stepping up until that point. I had become a life coach already. But I had been stepping out of my comfort zone and trying so many new and different things within a new business I had. Taking classes showing up at this event. And I was scared but excited because fear and excitement has the same, you know, physical reaction inside your body. And I realized I’m like, I’m daring. I’m a mom who dares.

And in that moment, I knew I had a little Facebook group for something completely different. I ran home that night. I changed my Facebook group to the name ‘Moms Who Dare.’ And from that point forward, I made it my mission to start with the moms that were about to experience launching their children and have an empty nest in reconnecting with their purpose by trying new things by stepping out of the comfort zone by daring. And that’s how it all [00:07:00] started.

Elizabeth: That’s amazing.

Jodi: Yeah.

Elizabeth: Because it’s so simple.

Jodi: Yeah. And I love the word. The word is very playful and fun for me. And everything I do has to have some fun and playfulness about it. And it just, I was like, yeah, daring. Yeah. We’re going to moms who dare. Let’s dare. And just caught on. And I started posting the group who wants to go to a movie at 10:30 in the morning with me. Who wants to go ax throwing? Who wants to go for a walk, a hike? And people started showing up.

Elizabeth: How fun.

Jodi: Yeah.

Elizabeth: So I’m curious like, what are some of the things that you’ve noticed in yourself that have changed as a result of this? And what are some of the things that you notice your group members, like expanding. How does that affect people? Just these simple dares.

Jodi: I see moods being boosted. I see confidence being built. I see letting go of worrying about what other people are going to think about something [00:08:00] that you want to do or learn and you just do it. I see giggling. I see smiles. I see women being very proud of themselves. Like I took a quilting class, Jodi, or I took a woodworking class, and I made this birdhouse. And now, I have all these new friends from the woodworking class.

So, I’m watching women, let go a little bit of the worry of what other people think and the fear that, Oh, I might look silly or I might fail. And instead they’re happier. They’re feeling more joyful. They’re confident. They’re standing more confident in themselves and who they are. That’s all happened for me.

Elizabeth: Yeah. I was thinking, yeah, it builds that confidence because I think that when we don’t do something that is new or when we stick to the comfort zone, right? Then we question like, well, could I do that? And of course, your brain talks you out of [00:09:00] it at that point. And it’s like, Oh no, you better not try it.

Jodi: And there’s something to be said for routine. Look, we all need routine in our life. And yet I would dare a woman to ask herself, is this a routine that has me feeling good or is it just keeping me safe? And what if I broke the routine and stepped out of that comfort zone, how might I feel? Scared, yet excited? Try it.

And I’m watching the women make new friends and they’re forming relationships and friendships and connections with each other. Which is really special in midlife. Because as so many women know in midlife, our friendships, some are for the long haul and some are for a seasonal life. And as we grow, some friendships might, you know, fade away. And so, how do you make new women friends? Through communities like Moms Who Dare.

By stepping out and enrolling, maybe you want to take tap dancing, maybe something you haven’t tap danced since you were a kid. So, you enroll in a [00:10:00] tap dancing class for women your age, 40 and up, 50 and up, I’m 58. And you make a new friend, wouldn’t that be so cool? I have a really good friend who moved into the city. I’m outside of Philly in the suburbs. She moved into the city. She took an art class and she’s made a really nice friend in the city from their class. So, so much can happen when you dare to step out and try new things.

Elizabeth: I love that. I love that. And you know, as you were talking, as you were telling the story about going to see this woman, who was being the keynote. A couple things I was thinking about at that time. One is how I feel socially awkward being in like a room full of 350 people. So, Like bravo for you for going alone. Right?

Even though like I talk to people all day long, like sometimes when I get into those situations, my brain just like turns off and I forget like how to talk to people or like how to broach [00:11:00] subjects. So, yeah.

Jodi: I have a good daring tip for that.

Elizabeth: Okay. Okay. So, let’s hang on to that.

Jodi: Yep.

Elizabeth: But the other thing was, is that I was thinking about Brené Brown’s book, ‘ Daring Greatly.’ And like that book, I love Brené Brown, but that book really did not resonate with me. And I’m just wondering if maybe that was just the stage of life that I was in or did you read the book? Do you know what I’m talking about?

Jodi: I did so long ago. I know I liked it. I know I enjoyed it. I can’t specifically, I’m talking, maybe I read it five, six years ago.

Elizabeth: Oh yeah. Easily.

Jodi: Yeah. Easy. Maybe even longer.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Jodi: It could be look, we’re ready to receive information. We’re ready to meet new people. We’re ready to notice and accept opportunity when we’re ready. And yes, you can read a book in one season of life. And love it and read it again and be like, yeah, not so much or vice versa. So, it very well could have been that for you. [00:12:00] Absolutely. And we change. We change with every season of our life. We’re not the same people we were a year ago, five years ago, three years ago, 20 years ago.

And so, we shift and what we need to inspire us. What we’re seeking to inspire us might not be the same inspiration that filled our cup, filled our heart and our soul five years ago. So yeah, absolutely. It could have not resonated or maybe just didn’t resonate period, maybe her language. I’ve read books on different fear. Here’s a really good example of what you just said. When I first started being introduced to fear and what it was and maybe unveiling some of my fears that I wasn’t even conscious of that I really had.

I started looking for a book on fear. Every book I saw, kick fear to the curb, knock out fear, eliminate fear, a word I can’t say for fear. It just wasn’t resonating with me. Something wasn’t right. I didn’t know what, I know what it is now. Until, I somebody suggested the book [00:13:00] Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, the same author as He Prayed Love. And Big Magic is all about this big. It’s a smaller book, it’s this big. And it really is about facing and navigating fear for creatives.

So, I read the book and right in the beginning, she shares in the chapter of fear, her letter to fear. And it was that letter, I save it, I share it all the time basically, and it resonated. That’s what it is. She basically said, you’re going to have fear. And every time you embark on something new, a new fear, or maybe your old fear, you know, new level new devil. They always say that it could be new level old devil coming.

And yet her letter to fear basically just to paraphrase it is welcoming fear like welcome my old friend I know why you’re here. And you can stay but you sit in the back seat of the car. And you don’t get to touch the radio and you don’t get to touch the navigating system you don’t get to do anything. Except, you can [00:14:00] sit there because I know why you’re here. And I’m like, that’s how you navigate fear by becoming aware of when it shows up and why it’s there so that you know what the triggers are. And that will tell you, Oh, that’s because I’m doing something new and exciting for myself. I can do that and bring fear along, but fear can’t talk.

Elizabeth: I love it. I love it. So, you have what five dares that are kind of like the foundation of the work that you do. Is that right?

Jodi: Five simple dares.

Elizabeth: Okay.

Jodi: Five simple ways. Five simple dares that you can literally boost your mood. And it does have health benefits. I’m not a scientist, not a health and wellness expert. So, you can Google the research, but there is research and obviously, I Googled it so that I could know. But there’s five and you can incorporate them simply into your everyday life. We just need to be intentional because we forget about these five things. So, you’re ready for all five. I’ll give you one at a time. You’re [00:15:00] ready.

Elizabeth: Let’s go through each of them. Do you think that that’s the best way of doing it?

Jodi: Absolutely. Perfect. So, the first one, I do this all the time, every day. Dare to smile. Like I’m smiling, you’re smiling the whole time you’re talking to me. Dare to smile because science and research has confirmed that smiling can elevate your mood. It reduces the stress hormone, I believe cortisol is a stress hormone, it reduces that in your body. It can enhance your immunity, release good, feel good endorphins, like a party going off in your brain I think I read. It’s what I read in that research.

So, smile and it’s simple. Smile. Start with yourself. You wake up in the morning and you sit down on the side of your bed just smile. Sit there and smile. It’s another day. And guess what? I got out of bed today. That’s worthy of a smile. Smile when you brush your teeth. Smile when you say good morning, if you’re sharing the house with other people. Smile at others throughout the day.

Choose a day, wake up in the morning, smiling. And say, today I’m smiling [00:16:00] all day long. Some people will look at you like, are you looking at me? And make eye contact when you do it. It is contagious. It is infectious. it will bring joy and boost the mood of other people around you. And for all of these, for most of these, just like smiling, and I’ll get into the second one, which is very similar to smiling.

It has the ability, not only will you boost your mood and you’ll feel better. You don’t know what somebody is going through. We all have stuff. And when you look at somebody and you just smile at a red light, you look at the car next to you smile. They’re going to think you’re crazy. It’s okay. We don’t care what people think about us. We’re in our 50s. It’s okay.

If they think I’m crazy because I’m smiling. That’s a good thinking of me. If you can think of me as being crazy. So, smile at yourself and others. Anybody who works in sales or if you’re having trouble with a customer service agent, smile while you’re on the phone with them. Don’t get angry. Smile. And then, smile while you’re falling [00:17:00] asleep at night. Smile.

Elizabeth: I love it. So, you know, when I’m focusing, I am not smiling. And not just Not because I’m not happy, but just because I’m focusing on your focus.

Jodi: That’s okay.

Elizabeth: And I remember when I was in grade school, high school that my parents, my mom, I think I have ADD. I’ve mentioned it on the podcast before, but it’s common for women in midlife to be diagnosed with it which I haven’t officially. But I was a daydreamer when I was in grade school. And my mom, I remember telling me that she wanted me to be more serious. And how I interpreted that was to not smile. And so, for many years, I actually did not smile. And I was accused of having a resting bitch face. Right.

Jodi: Yeah. That’s not nice.

Elizabeth: So this awakening, I love it. Yeah, because it is.

Jodi: [00:18:00] But see how we internalize things as little children. And I’m sure your mother did not want you not to smile anymore and to stop smiling. So, I just want to share one little statistic. And this is from a blog post that was on a website, the Facial Center. There’s no hard research that I have found yet. But they say, well, for smiling there is. That the average child has a smile rate for wages of 400 times a day.

Elizabeth, do you want to give me a guess on what the average smile rate might be?

Elizabeth: 20?

Jodi: Yes.

Elizabeth: No.

Jodi: Yes.

Elizabeth: That’s terrible.

Jodi: Yes. So smile. Dare one. Spend a day smiling.

Elizabeth: Amazing.

Jodi: Ready for dare number two?

Elizabeth: I think so. Yes.

Jodi: Okay. Dare to laugh. Dare to laugh. A lot, a lot of the same exact emotional and physical benefits as smiling with respect to releasing them feel good hormones. It actually has been shown to [00:19:00] improve blood flow to your heart and the heart is the center of everything. Our heart even has an electric magnetic field to it that radiates out. That’s from the HeartMath Institute. And this is where there’s no, I haven’t found any actual research. But I read a few articles that all say that the average four to six year old laughs about 300 times a day. Where the average 40 year old, and this is where the articles are different can be anywhere from four to 20 times a day.

I don’t buy the 20 times a day, because I’m a pretty happy go lucky person. I don’t laugh 20 times a day. But laughter also is one of those things that will boost your mood, your overall well being. And it is contagious as well. I had a friend for years, I would go to the worst movie in the world like, humor that was just not funny for me.

And I have a friend today who also has a laugh. When they laugh, you have to laugh. It’s contagious. So, find ways to intentionally laugh throughout the [00:20:00] day. Scroll through. You want to make a good use of scrolling through social media, watch funny videos. Funny videos. I find comedy specials on streaming platforms.

I broke my wrist, almost two years ago. And I was really sad and depressed, and my husband had to go out of town two days after my surgery. He felt horrible. I was sad. I said, that’s it. I don’t want to feel sad. I didn’t want to feel that way. I put on John Mulaney, so funny on Netflix, and I sat there and I laughed for an hour with myself. So, find ways to laugh. Laugh for no reason at all. There is something called laugh therapy.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Jodi: I’ve never done it, but ha ha ha ha ha, like laugh. All right.

Elizabeth: So, is there any research about better ways to laugh, like connecting with others, other people, or versus using like television, Netflix, social in order to do that?

Jodi: Well, I don’t know about research, but I’m happy you said the word connecting both smiling and laughing. [00:21:00] Foster connection. As far as if there’s more health benefits for laughing in a group like laugh therapy. I don’t know what the research is on that. I will say if it’s contagious and it creates connection. I would think laughing with a group would be great. Grabbing a group of friends and going to a comedy show would be good. That research, I don’t know. I don’t know.

Elizabeth: Or just having someone who makes you laugh, right? Like a friend or..

Jodi: Look, surrounding yourself with people who smile more than not. Who laugh, have the ability to laugh more than not. Absolutely, matters. As it relates to your emotional well being and your physical well being. And there’s tons of research on that, who you surround yourself with. I did a whole episode on who’s on your team. And it doesn’t mean that you can’t be around serious people. It doesn’t mean you can’t, I work, I get very serious. And then when I take a break, I’m like, okay, smile, get my lips moving again. [00:22:00] So, yes, it has to, I would think being around people and for shared laughter has huge boost in benefits.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Cause I would make that want to be around those people because they give you so much joy. Right?

Jodi: Yeah. Life is a little too serious.

Elizabeth: Sometimes.

Jodi: It’s just a little too serious. And I think we would all benefit from maybe not taking ourselves and other people so serious and just laugh.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Jodi: Laugh.

Elizabeth: Amazing.

Jodi: All right.

Elizabeth: I love it.

Jodi: I love Dare Number Three. Dare Number Three was my favorite thing as a kid. Dare to play. Dare to play. Play brings joy, fosters, and sparks creativity, and it’s fun. And it’s fun. And it’s interesting somebody just asked me. Well, define play for me. And I would ask you, what does play mean to you? Play could mean a game night. When was the last time you played Yahtzee? Right? I played Yahtzee two years ago. [00:23:00] My friend’s daughter, we were at their beach house. She said, Aunt Jodi, you want to play Yahtzee with me? I’m like, yes! I was so excited and my competitiveness came out and I had to beat my friend’s daughter.

Maybe play for you is stopping by a playground and just going down a sliding board or swinging on a swing or grabbing a jump rope. If you exercise, maybe that’s play. Maybe play, it’s the next time it rains, you just put a hat on and a raincoat and go out and walk in the rain and jump in rain puddles. Play can be something that feels light and playful for you. It can be a card game.

So, I would dare somebody listening to this to tap into how you feel, how you want to feel and how could play be that for you? How could it show up? Spend a day with a toddler. I’m lucky, I don’t have grandkids yet, but I have little nieces and nephews. Go to a soccer game. And when I say go to the playground, watch kids play, not in a creepy way. Just watch them play, watch how they do it. They just are, they’re just there. [00:24:00]

So, figure out a way to play. It does get you out of your head and into your feelings, say like a head state, the left side of the brain versus the right side of the brain. We have the masculine energy and the feminine energy. It’s not a gender thing, but the feminine energy is a creative part of your brain. And it’s what gets triggered when you get in the shower. It’s why people have the best ideas in the shower. They’re not thinking that’s what play can do for you. You never know. So, that is there number three.

Elizabeth: Okay. So, play is something that I struggle with. And whether it’s because I buried it when I was a kid or what. But do you have any suggestions of how to uncover that? Is it just today I’m going to find one thing to play about. Because I think play is more of a state of being than it is really like doing. Right? Just like what you said, masculine and feminine. So, like play to me is a quality that someone [00:25:00] has and that they bring to their life. Like how can we uncover that part of ourselves?

Jodi: Like the playful attitude.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Jodi: I think that comes to not taking ourselves so seriously.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Jodi: I think that’s how playful attitude comes cause I agree with you. That’s why I say to people, what is play? What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of play? ,So for you, Elizabeth, it’s more about feeling light and maybe not taking things as seriously. And yet taking the action to actually physically play something can help unleash that.

So, I still would say that if you’re going to dare to play, it can be as simple as the next time you drive by that playground in your neighborhood. Or just go to the playground in your neighborhood and sit on a swing, and just swing. I mean, I’m 58, I get a little vertigo now. So, maybe get and look at the sliding board and say, okay, so it’s a little tighter, but you can still get down. I got down. You can get [00:26:00] down. It’s amazing what it can unleash.

Here’s something my girlfriend does. Skip! She’s a runner. She says at the end of all her runs, she ends it with skipping. Skip! And sing the song, Skip to my Lou, Skip to my Lou, whatever that song was. Skip! Skipping is playful. Skipping gets you out of your head and lightens you up a little bit. So, there’s a lot of ways. Google it.

Elizabeth: Okay. I love it. Okay. Dare number four.

Jodi: Dare number four. Dare to look for the good. Seek out the good. It’s all around us, especially in today’s world. Where sometimes the not so good is much louder and more visible. And yet, I know for sure, to quote Oprah, I know for sure that if you intentionally seek out the good, you will find, it’s a form of gratitude.

And it has been proven research has shown that if you not only look for the good. And then, [00:27:00] savor it for 20 seconds, you can really start carving out new neural pathways in your brain and ship that. Shift the negativity bias we all have because we have a bias towards negativity. And we can shift that very easily by not just looking for the good, but savoring.

And so, what I mean by that is the next time you notice a rainbow, or a sunset, or sunrise instead of grabbing your phone and say, Oh, look and taking a picture. Or just, Oh, my gosh, look, a rainbow and run away. Stop, put the phone away. And sit there and really take it in. Look at the rainbow. Look at it. It really is Roy G Biv, what we learned in school. Savor the sunset. Watch it go all the way down and watch how the sky really does change colors with every step of the rise and the fall of the sun.

That’s what I mean by savoring it for 20 seconds. And the third part of looking for the good is that when something negative is happening, when you’re having one of those days or somebody said something or something [00:28:00] happened. Take a beat. That’s my way of saying taking a pause, take a beat. And go for three to one ratio from positive to negative. Say out loud to yourself, recognize, think about three good things to counteract that one negative.

That’s the formula that can really have you holding on longer to the positive versus having the negative hold on. Because the negativity bias is all about negative experiences stick to us longer than the positive. This is the way to flip that. And I will share that if those three steps are too much for you, all you did was there to start with just looking and finding the good throughout the day?

One thing too, and it could be a baby in a stroller playing with their feet. That could be a good feeling. So, I think out of the box for the good. A cute little dog. It can be anything that you want it to be. But look for the good.

Elizabeth: I love it. So yeah, like the negativity bias is something that I talk about on the podcast and certainly [00:29:00] with my clients. And one of the practices that I do with my clients is that I make them acknowledge their wins for the week. It’s a practice that I do for my days.

Every single day, I write down three things, three experiences that I am grateful for with the idea that it’s kind of like the law of manifestation, the law of attraction. That the more that we can observe good things that are happening in our lives, experiences that we have with people connection, whatever it is that you want in your life. When you notice it, you are more likely to be able to call it in to your life.

Jodi: Yep.

Elizabeth: But with health in particular, this one is actually really super important because what always happens when we feel discouraged. We’re like, this isn’t working. Right? Even though, so like, yeah, I like the analogy of like, you stand on a scale and you’ve [00:30:00] lost one pound, but you were expecting to lose three pounds.

And so, you’re like, this isn’t working. This is just terrible. I’m not doing this very well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like when we can look at the good or see the wins. Then, what happens is it allows us to keep going on that trajectory. It allows us to keep going on that path without feeling discouraged because we can see the progress that we’ve been making. So, I love this one in particular for health.

Jodi: Yeah. Thank you. And I just share with you which we all know that unmanaged stress, worry, and anxiety will lead and manifest into health issues. It breaks down our bodies unmanaged stress, worry, and anxiety. With that said, we all have stress, worry, and anxiety.

I want you to know none of this is toxic positivity here. These are really resilience tools. So, [00:31:00] looking for the good, it just helps counteract it a little bit so that you don’t get stuck in the negative, the stress, the worry, and anxiety. Look for the good and it counteracts it a little bit. So, yeah, I love that too for health and well being, the look for the good. I do this practice almost unconsciously. So, yes.

And then, that leads us to dare number five. Now, what’s interesting is one through four, we’re very action oriented. And we’re full of movement. Dare number five is to just be. And this can be really hard for a lot of people because..

Elizabeth: Explain it.

Jodi: Okay. So, first of all, when I say just be, it means get still. Get quiet. I don’t care if you’re meditating. I don’t care if your eyes are wide open. If you’re just sitting there staring at the wall. Because in stillness, ideas and clarity emerge. And this is why I believe it’s one of the hardest things because being alone, and quiet, and still with our thoughts can be scary for some people.

We might come to the realization [00:32:00] or get clear on the fact that you know, we’re not being so good to ourselves, or maybe we were at fault in that fight we had with our girlfriend, or our daughter, or a son, or a co worker. We might realize we’re not super happy in our life as it is right now. These are hard things to accept and to admit. And yet, I promise that getting still by meditating, sitting quiet, walking in nature. Even though, you’re walking, you’re in nature, it’s quiet.

When you allow yourself to become aware of how you really are feeling in your life. You’re then equipped to either accept, make a choice, accept, make a change. And let go. And not all every realization leads to an upending of your life or blowing up of your life. Awareness that you’re not feeling super fulfilled in my career could scare somebody [00:33:00] who needs that income. That there maybe they’re a single mom, a widow, a divorcee, or they need this income, even if they’re a couple.

And yet it doesn’t mean you’re going to quit your job, but knowing and being able to get that clarity that I’m really unhappy. Okay, well now you can start doing something about it while still working. That’s the only the number one way to really get ideas and clarity in your life about your relationships is through stillness. Just be.

Elizabeth: Well, and I love that you brought up toxic positivity earlier because I think what you’re talking about here is when we aren’t unhappy or we aren’t thrilled with whatever circumstance that many of us feel like we have to plaster this positive smile on our face or act inauthentic. And I love what you’re [00:34:00] saying here because we’re not talking about that.

Jodi: No.

Elizabeth: We’re talking about not denying the reality of how you feel about something. And allowing yourself to take action towards bettering it.

Jodi: Yes. Absolutely. Because I want people to know that even let’s go back to smiling for a minute.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Jodi: You wake up one day and you’re just not feeling well. It happens to me. I’m just like that oh, I just so much. It’s just been a lot. Maybe I’ll smile at myself in the house, but maybe I don’t feel like going and smiling at everybody in the world. That’s okay. It is a way to pull yourself up out of it so you don’t stay in that stuck space. That down, that low energy, that low vibrational state, which can directly impact your health and wellness, both emotional and physically.

So, these dares are to help you bounce back from feeling low, help boost your creativity, [00:35:00] increase informed connections, make you feel like you’re more connected to others. Which is something we all need and desire as humans. And have you create awareness around how you’re feeling. And more of what you want so that you can then start taking steps to create a life that you would rather wake up to every day.

Elizabeth: Well, and I also want to add that having the range of emotions is the human experience, right?

Jodi: Absolutely.

Elizabeth: And we, as humans have the ability to hold space for both emotions, both sadness and grief. While also having being joyous, or being proud, or whatever it is. Like being sad or grieving the loss of someone in your life, doesn’t mean that you have to walk around sullen all the time. You can grieve and still connect and [00:36:00] laugh with someone else, right?

Jodi: Absolutely. I love the movie inside out.

Elizabeth: Yes.

Jodi: It’s the best. It was Joy, finally realized that in order to have joy, you had to go through sadness. Because within sadness, there is joy throughout the law. When I lost, I lost at three years in a row. I lost my father in law, my mother in law, my sister in law. Talk about sad? And yet I was able to start a new business and feel joyful because of what they brought into my life.

And that’s part, these are all practices. You know, resilience is a muscle that we can build a skill set that we can build so that we can pull ourselves up when we need to. And we need it in life. But I love how you said that Elizabeth because emotions are human experience. And the only way to the other side is through them. It’s the only ways to go through them. I mean, because what happens when you suppress emotions and pretend everything’s okay. What happens to our health? And what happens? Our health [00:37:00] declines.

And you’re getting headaches now and I get migraines and then I have IBS. All this stuff starts to develop. It’s all connected. Mind, body, spirit.

Elizabeth: Wait a minute. So, how did you come up with these dares?

Jodi: You know, it’s interesting. I was with a friend and I was trying, she was helping me come formulate a signature talk that I could give around daring. And she just asked me questions like we do as coaches. And she’s like, well, what are the three or four things that like you do that you feel boost your mood. And I thought I smile. I laugh. I love play. I thought she asked me about my childhood and a big part of my childhood was play.

Play was a little bit, you know, we’re saying not to escape our emotions, but play was my escape. When I look back, it was part of my social, I was always social, I was a tomboy. You give me that skateboard, you give me the wiffle ball, capo, I’m out there with all the boys playing. Loved play, and it was also my place where I didn’t have to deal with the serious stuff that was going on at [00:38:00] home.

So, she just asked me questions about my life and it developed into these five dares. And I talk about them all the time. I love them. I have stickers I give out for them. I showed you that when I talk in person, I actually put a clown nose on for the laugh. And yeah. You know, life is serious and life can be hard and life can be fun, and, and, and no buts.

Elizabeth: I love it. I love it. So, you have something for folks if they want to take on these dares. Yeah?

Jodi: Yes. Well, you have the five dares. You can always download this episode, share it with your friends, and save the five, write the five down. But I shared a link with Elizabeth with you for 30 days of doable dares. So, 30 ideas, these are all on there. But there’s 30 additional, there’s 25 additional ways that you can step out of your comfort zone, try new things, connect with others. And possibly, we connect to a [00:39:00] dream or we discover something new that you like a talent that you never knew you had an interest.

Elizabeth: I love it. I love it. All right. So, if people want to follow you, find out more about you, maybe even work with you, how do they do that?

Jodi: Everything is on my website, jodisilverman.com. And for anybody who’s looking for community, I have a Facebook group called. ‘Moms Who Dare.’ Come say, hi. And don’t forget to answer the pre join questions because that lets us know what we can help you with. So yeah, the Facebook group Moms Who Dare or head over to jodisilverman.com and everything is there, the podcast, everything else.

Elizabeth: Amazing. Thank you for being here today. I’m so excited about what you bring to the world and just so grateful for you being on the show today.

Jodi: Thank you, Elizabeth. And I can’t wait for everybody to continue to learn from you on our show as well. It’s good stuff.

Elizabeth: Alright.

Oh, my goodness! Wasn’t that just so good? I hope you’re walking [00:40:00] away feeling just a little bit more energized and maybe even a little inspired to try something new just for the fun of it. Whether it’s smiling at a stranger, skipping down the street or taking that tap dance class that you’ve been thinking about, remember the smallest dare can shift everything. If you loved this episode, send it to a friend who might need a little boost right now. Someone who could use a reminder that it’s not too late to feel joy, make new friends, or start again.

And if you’re realizing that your health or your life doesn’t quite feel like your own anymore. I want you to know that You don’t have to figure it out alone. My ‘I know what to do, I’m just not doing it,’ strategy call is designed for exactly this season of life. And you can find the link in the show notes or head over to my website to schedule yours.

Thank you for being here. I will see you next time on the Total Health and Midlife Podcast. [00:41:00] Until then, keep daring. Bye-bye everyone.