230 – Lanee Blaise

Lanee: [00:00:00] I was like, can you just tell me what you eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? And you kind of were hesitant because you, people do have some customization, but you also told me that it’s okay to actually eat the same things, each day, give or take with the little switch.

And you did tell me the food parts with the upping the veggies, upping the proteins. But you also kept telling me that we had some thought work to do and I was like, oh, here’s where it comes in. I need it, but I don’t want it.

Elizabeth: Welcome to the Total Health and Midlife Podcast, the podcast for women over 40 who want peace with food, ease in their habits, and a body that they don’t have to fight with.

Do you ever feel like you know what to do for your health, but actually doing it? Now, that’s the hard part. Today on the Total Health and Midlife Podcast, I am talking with a former client of [00:01:00] mine, Lanee, and now a dear friend. She’s a podcaster, a speaker, a screenwriter, an overall just brilliant, hilarious, and deeply thoughtful woman in today’s episode.

We are pulling back the curtain on what it really takes to create sustainable health habits in midlife, especially when life is like super busy. Lanee opens up about the personal mindset shifts that she made while we were working together, not just around food and movement, but around who she needs to become in order to manage her stress, stay grounded and actually enjoy her life while pursuing her health goals.

So if you’ve ever struggled with vacation eating and that all or nothing mentality,. If you’ve ever felt trapped between wanting to be healthy and wanting to be present with loved ones, Or if you’ve ever wondered why you keep [00:02:00] self-sabotaging, even though you know better, you are gonna love today’s episode.

We talk about the concept of bare minimums, why thought work matters, even when you don’t wanna do it, and how Lanee finally made peace with food, her body, and her calendar, all without ditching joy, travel, or connection. This one’s a mix of honest reflection, real world strategies, and just two midlife women.

Keeping it all the way real. You are not gonna wanna miss it. So let’s get into it.

Alright everyone, welcome Lanee to the show. Lanee, I am so incredibly excited that you’re here and you’re gonna talk to everyone about your experience and who you are and all things health.

So first of all, introduce yourself. Tell everyone where we met and we’ll start there. [00:03:00]

Lanee: Perfect. I am Lanee Blaise, fan of Elizabeth Sherman, not just from the podcast, but from actual, help the, the help and the benefit that she’s given, being a coach for me. So, as far as what I do ordinarily, is I am a fellow podcaster.

Our podcast, I co-host with Sandy Kovac is called Imagine Yourself And Imagine Yourself Podcast is an inspirational podcast. We’ve been going for seven years now. That’s actually how I met Elizabeth. She was a guest, an expert guest on our show, and it’s one of those things where it was wonderful to get all of the information, when she was, giving tips and advice on Imagine Yourself, but I knew I needed.

One-on-one. I needed to go that extra step, and I’m so grateful I did because now not [00:04:00] only do we know each other from podcasts, I’m on yours now. I have all these great tips, but I feel like I can go to you anytime if I need to and ask for a little refresher on things because life changes, health changes, and we all need somebody who knows what they’re talking about to go to.

So that is a little about me. I also, realized when I had kind of more of a change in career and began with television and movie, screenwriting and producing, I really needed an overhaul. So that is, that’s what I’ve been up to. I had done a TV project and a film project just in the past year, and we’re about to do two more film projects.

So we woo, it’s

Elizabeth: been busy. That’s amazing. Well, and so, one of the reasons that I started my podcast is because when I started as a coach, I would work with my client on a specific [00:05:00] concept and then I would send them to someone else’s podcast to go and learn more about the specific topic that we were coaching on within our session.

And it didn’t make any sense to me. I was like, oh, wait a minute, I should be able to do that. And so now, and why I think this is important is because we’ve been in session together and when you are on a coaching call, you get the, the gist of what the coach is trying to say, but sometimes you need a little bit of refresher after you get off the the call, right?

Yes. And so that’s where this. Podcast actually really helps to solidify the concepts that I teach within our sessions.

Lanee: True. Okay. So like for example, I know there were certain terms that you started to introduce to me, [00:06:00] like bare minimums and you, you were explaining some high level things to me and I needed to be able to see how that fit into my exact life and Yeah.

Listening back to ’cause Mind you have hundreds of podcast episodes, but you would be able to direct me to the specific ones that we talked about during that session that were gonna be beneficial for what I needed at that point. And I appreciate that and it’s, especially even as a podcaster, I get that.

Elizabeth: I get it. Well, and the other thing I was gonna say is that I love it that we met through a podcast that I was a guest on yours, and we’ve stayed in contact for so many years now. And it’s so interesting. I’ve been on like a hundred different podcasts at least. And there are very few hosts that I still keep in contact with.

And I’ve been in contact all along this time with both you and [00:07:00] with Sandy. Like her little cat is so incredibly cute. Yes.

Lanee: No, that, but also remember we talk about, and that’s gonna, that’s gonna, I know we’re gonna talk about this later too. We talk about. All kinds of things. We don’t, it’s not just that I, get in touch with you to ask you about certain things with health and nutrition, but we talk about things with our businesses and development.

We, we, you’ve had a coffee chat, zooms with me. It, we’ve talked about, family members that I have who live in Mexico, and how they, can transition from living in America and then moving to Mexico. It’s a full-bodied approach and I just feel like that has become an underrated thing in this society.

When you. I mean, I know that there’s holistic doctors and things like that, but a holistic approach to friendship, to professional relationships, to health, to everything. It’s just think about more than just, and I’m actually, I hate to say it, Elizabeth, I’m a [00:08:00] very like, straightforward, how do I get from point A to point B?

And I’m learning that that is not the goal of this life. It is not just a life of getting from point A to point B all the time. There’s more to it,

Elizabeth: I was just thinking about that this morning that I don’t know, I was doing something and it’s always so interesting to me when I stop myself and I’m like, no, remember Elizabeth, enjoy the ride.

Like enjoy the process. It’s not just about checking something off of your to-do list when you can actually,

when you can really. Enjoy the process. And I, I can’t say it another way, but, and it feels so awkward, but when you can really en experience the journey on the way there, it’s everything that you’re learning that actually ends up to you accomplishing the goal.

Lanee: That [00:09:00] is true, but I must admit that it is not necessarily fun doing it that way.

Like No, I just, I feel like, you, we can say that in hindsight, but when we’re doing it, I know my daughter would get so upset with me when I would say, I’m gonna be happy once I finish filming this film project. Right. And she’s like. Okay, you’re gonna be filming that for like a month. I’m like, yep.

Then after it’s done, I’ll be happy. And she’s like, so there’s no part of you during the filming of it that’s gonna be exciting or new or fun or refreshing. And then you’re not going to even allow yourself to be happy until it’s over. And these are some of the things that Elizabeth Sherman, the element that you taught me to, to be aware of and to try to change.

Um, you, you, you asked me the biggest thing ever, [00:10:00] which I will never, ever forget. I’ve talked about this on, on my own podcast so much. But that part, that question where you asked me. You, you, it was kind of, and you can make sure you correct me if you need to, but it was like, who do you need to be Nne?

Mm-hmm. To get through this big upcoming season with the film And it was gonna be my husband’s 50th birthday and it was gonna be Christmas and it was gonna be a whole lot going on. Who do I need to be to make it through that in a sane, comfortable, smooth manner and in a way where I’m not just rushing to get to the end of it?

’cause who wants to like rush to the end of Christmas and have it her? Hopefully hurry up and be over and have my husband’s birthday. Hopefully hurry up and be over and have my little Christmas movie that we’re filming. Just hurry up and be over. That’s not how we’re supposed to live.

Elizabeth: Right. Oh, I love that.

Well, and it’s very true for health too. Like for everyone who’s listening right now who might [00:11:00] have a weight goal, for example. We do all of the things to get to the lower weight, but who do we have to be at the end in order to maintain that weight? How do we need to look at ourselves, food, our bodies, our relationships with others so that I can maintain that?

Right?

Lanee: Yeah. And that is not something that is taught, especially not in books. You grab a book and it teaches you a diet to maintain or eight minute abs, to, to do this day or walk 10 minutes. Yeah, just do this, don’t do that. Do this, not that. Eat this, not that. Right? And you taught me that’s not, that’s not gonna be the sustainable answer that may get me to the goal.

But it prob likely won’t [00:12:00] keep me there and it won’t kind of nourish who I am as a person moving forward. And that’s the part, again, with the who I have to be, I have to be a thinker. And I did not want to be a thinker, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: Well, so, okay. We just went really deep really quickly. Let’s back up a little bit.

Okay? Okay. Yes.

Lanee: Yeah. We went through like, and talk about living life. We talked about everything. Yeah.

Elizabeth: These are the conversations that you get to have with me. Yes. Yes. So let’s start from the beginning. Why did you reach out to me and want to coach with me?

Lanee: So at least I had that little preview, that little appetizer course with you, being on.

Imagine Yourself podcast, then I would see your posts on LinkedIn and Instagram and [00:13:00] your, the newsletter. I, subscribe to your newsletter that I get the emails and I just started to see this lady does things differently. She very likely has some things up her sleeves that have to address questions that I have about intermittent fasting, about nutrition, about fitness, but she has some other things that she mentions that address the, the situation that I’m a middle aged per woman, which is its own unique category.

I realized that I was going through some hormonal things with, with menopause. I knew that you could address that, but I also knew that with this. Life changing stuff that I was gonna be doing. When, when you’re a producer and you’re on set for several days, you it’s long hours. It’s hard. It’s, the food situation is tricky.

Like there’s pizza a [00:14:00] lot or, or not eating. It’s just, it’s very wonky and I want it to prepare myself that I could be the best, optimum condition to make it through. So all that put together is why I said I believe that I need, some training. I, I like learning to, to a point. I don’t, I don’t wanna overdo it and I like thinking to a point I don’t wanna overthink, but I knew that I didn’t know enough to stop myself from.

Possibly ballooning up with inflammation and weight and all the, and frustration and hormones while on set. And nobody wants that. So that’s, that’s why I reached out to you.

Elizabeth: Okay. And you were also struggling, if I remember correctly, with some additional weight gain that you were struggling to get off.

You had previously, hired a [00:15:00] nutritionist to help you with some environmental things in your house. Yeah,

Lanee: environmental things in my house and some, some foods. She introduced a lot of, fun vegetables or the, or ways to prepare food in, in healthier, fun ways, and I will always be grateful to her for that.

And she explained some of the biology of foods and combinations and things like that. Also imperative, but there was still something missing. There was still something that I couldn’t quite get right and I knew wouldn’t be sustainable. And that’s when I said, okay, I reached out to you because I could tell by the way that you wrote the information in your post that there was something mentally and like, not just the physiological component that I was [00:16:00] gonna have to focus on.

I didn’t really want to, but, I’d much prefer, formula A plus B, equal C, and then you’re good. But you were, you just kept, I kept seeing these posts and it was really telling me it’s not just that.

Elizabeth: Well, but that’s so funny because when you came to me, you just wanted me to tell you what to do.

You wanted me to give you a meal plan.

Lanee: Yep. And that’s that part between knowing what you need and doing what you need. Like I knew from the post that I knew I needed that other component, but I’m like, maybe magically fairy land. I, ’cause I really was like, just tell me what you eat each day and how you do it.

Yes, I remember that. And I’ll repeat that. Do you remember that? I was like, can you just tell me what you eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? And you kind of were hesitant because you, people do have some customization, but you also told me [00:17:00] that it’s okay to actually eat the same things, each day, give or take with, with, with the little switch.

And you, you did tell me the food parts with the upping the veggies, upping the proteins. But you also kept telling me that we had some thought work to do and I was like, oh, here’s where it comes in. I need it, but I don’t want it. But it helps. Yeah. So

Elizabeth: why, okay, so what Lanee is talking about is, so one of the questions that she specifically asked me, I remember this is you asked me, should I eat full fat yogurt or can I eat full fat yogurt?

Or do I have to eat fat free yogurt? Yep. Do you remember that conversation?

Lanee: I do, I do. Because I would do the Greek yogurt. What did you

Elizabeth: walk away with that

Lanee: I walked away with? We’ve gotta be careful how [00:18:00] we answer that question because based on some of the other foods in the day, I definitely knew that the, the Greek I.

Plain yogurt was great. Am I, what am I adding to that yogurt? So, and, and that your body does need some fats to make sure that your brain and body feels satiated. All the, so, so it wasn’t just a pat answer and you taught me a lot of things biologically, and, and so that I can know the way that the system is going, but you gave me a lot of permission to, once I got certain things understood and down pat and I could repeat those things, but that I would still have the other, the other leg of the race to go.

It’s, it’s, it’s, I guess it’s like the triathlon. Okay. Just because you swam across the river, you still have to do the bicycle part, and you still have to do the, [00:19:00] the running part, which in my case was. I did get, the nutrition part down and you gave me some tips on the fitness part, but I was still gonna have to go through some of the why I wanted to eat certain things or why I wanted to eat them at certain times, or why I wasn’t willing or able to stop certain cravings or why I would get tempted by certain things that my husband would, bring up that I didn’t really, wouldn’t have even eaten on my own.

Or we had to talk about Another person in this, in this world who is que Lanee. Que Lanee is the, when Nne goes on vacation, she cuts up so.

I know there’s a whole lot of people out there who are Vacay Ellen or Vacay Sherry out there too, who are like, yeah, I, yeah, [00:20:00] I know her.

Elizabeth: Yeah. So, okay. Explain to everyone listening. Who is Vacay? Lanee

Lanee: Vacay. Lanee is a choice that regular Lanee makes to turn into somebody else who’s on vacation, who drinks alcohol whenever she feels like it, who eats whatever she feels like, who does not have a care in the world about stretching, exercising, eating a vegetable or anything, and que Lanee.

I mean, there’s a time and a place for everything. So a couple of days that might be okay, but Que Lanee had gone on a. Week long vacation and blown up so many pounds and felt so sluggish when she came back that, regular lyna said, we, we can’t let Vacay Lanee do this much damage ever again. And [00:21:00] so Vacay Lanee has now learned that she could still have some alcohols.

Some alcohol, drinks or whatever, but there’s a limit because a regular linee doesn’t feel great the next morning like she used to when she was younger. Yeah. So two drink minimum. So make sure she picks whatever the most fabulous drink that’s worth it and add some protein, and a and a, a good solid meal with some vegetables in there.

And then have dessert and enjoy, like, just do a couple of things, which is what you talk about. Bare minimums. Ju just do a couple of bare minimums so that, when Lanee returns home, she doesn’t leave regular Lanee. She just laid out.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Well, and what I think is really important that you didn’t mention about VE Kayne is, and this probably resonates with a lot of other people, is wanting to have fun with your partner because that’s [00:22:00] how you historically.

Bonded together. Right. And so you were worried that if VA Kayne didn’t come out anymore, that he would take it personally or think that you didn’t love him anymore, or you were worried about that connection? Yeah,

Lanee: it’s a plea, it’s a pleasing thing. So it’s kind of like a go with the flow or you only live once type of mentality.

So, to be fair, yeah, my husband was on Vacay mode. And please remember too, if there’s, there’s other folks, two friends, we’d go out, on a vacation. They’re in that mode. And I’m just, I’ll give you an example right now, if right now I say shit, shit shots, like, okay, like do you wanna take a shot? Yes. A little shot of tequila?

Yes. Is that what you had intended to do before I said that? No. And it’s like, it is a. It’s like a peer pressure thing. And then especially with my husband, [00:23:00] we’re like, he’s looking at me, he’s like, we are on vacation. Like why are you worrying about this hardcore structure? So there has to be a balance because I don’t want to quote unquote ruin the vacation, for him or me or my other friends who might be there, but I also don’t want or need some of the trappings, of it all either.

Lanee (2): Yeah.

Lanee: It’s tricky. Well, it was tricky. It’s not tricky anymore because I just recently got back from vacation and I think I did great. I, within one day I was back. On track. And when I say on track, I mean my sleep was back on track, my water intake was back on track. My weight was actually snapped back into place on track and [00:24:00] my vegetable and protein routine, and, and healthy living and eating popped back on and stretching too.

’cause once you’re over 50, stretching is a whole thing. All that I didn’t stretch on, I didn’t stretch on vacation, but I needed to, but it, but I just popped back. It just all popped back into place and I was so happy. So it works. And I was, and I had loads of fun, but there were certain boundaries that I did keep.

And I don’t even think my husband noticed the boundaries. That’s another good thing.

Elizabeth: Okay. I love that. So tell us how was it different? Can you articulate that?

Lanee: Oh yeah. Like, for example. So you, so this was an all-inclusive resort. So you go to breakfast, most of the breakfast buffets, I hate to say it, have carbs, blueberry muffins, waffle maker [00:25:00] toast, fresh fruits.

Yeah. I was like, okay, this is not helpful. So I did the type where you kind of sit down for breakfast and you, I just ordered eggs and a little fresh fruit and oatmeal and, herbal tea and just, and water. Mm-hmm. And like, so I got that with the eggs, the protein, I didn’t, I wasn’t all carved up. I had the water.

The herbal tea, just smooth things out, kept things moving nicely. It just, and that was how I do the breakfast each day. So already I’m ahead in my opinion. Mm-hmm. And then lunch. ’cause I also used to go on vacation and think like, wow, what if it’s like a long time before I get to eat lunch or whatever. So I’d like go crazy.

So, but now I just, I’d eat a regular lunch and just believe that even though dinner’s gonna be a little later than I’m used to, it’s gonna be okay. I’d pack little, protein snacks in my [00:26:00] purse. I would not drink any alcohol during the day. I would save it for my dinner where I was like, I’m definitely having two.

I’m gonna pick whichever my favorite two are, and just little things like that and, and keep the water. I would, I would kind of keep track of the water, couldn’t completely, but kind of keep track of that. Kind of keep track of my rest. It just, it was so smooth. There’s so much smoothness to it now, Elizabeth, there’s so much smoothness to a lot of things now because, which I know we’ll talk about later too, but you taught me to think thinking is so underrated and there’s a balance.

’cause I don’t wanna overthink everything. I don’t wanna be that chick who overthinks, but there, but I, I don’t wanna under think either. So you taught me how to think about, like, when I come back, maybe I’ll have a, like an Instacart, already ready to drop groceries at my [00:27:00] house when I return with all my fresh fruits and vegetables and things that I do on my routine.

Um, like, and this is like totally, adjacent, but not really packing. It’s like now I have a whole new way of like packing. I. Um, I have to go on another trip soon, and so I just, I took all the clothes that were dirty out of the last suitcase, washed them, gently folded them and put them back in the suitcase, washed and dried so I can go on the next trip.

And my daughter’s like, you’re wearing the same clothes. I was like, yeah, they’re clean. And these are different people who are gonna be on the trip. And so, yes, I’m just, I’m just, they’re my vacation clothes, of course. Vac vacation clothes, vacation mindset. Vacation, menus, vacation. I guess that breakfast too.

Breakfast was really a big one for me. ’cause I used to just end up failing at the breakfast buffet because I’d get a blueberry muffin and a piece of toast and a waffle and a french toast. [00:28:00] And then I wonder why I felt weird the whole day. But it’s like all those carbs. But no, there is, there’s a way to do everything.

That little crazy book. Everything is figureoutable is for real. Yeah. And like if you have somebody like. Like you, Elizabeth, who can help us see certain things. It’s all, there’s a smoothness now.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Well, and what I love about that is that you created your own rules. Like I didn’t tell you to do any of that.

Like you figured it all out on your own.

Lanee: You didn’t tell me that, but you suggested that, that I up my veggies and up my protein.

Lanee (2): Mm-hmm.

Lanee: And you showed me how I could drop in those extra veggies and proteins in each meal. Mm-hmm. You helped make me aware of the fact that [00:29:00] something about when we get older, alcohol just does not compute the same way it used to when we were younger.

Lanee (2): Yeah.

Lanee: And to go ahead and. Acknowledge that and then consider making changes, which in my case is that whole two drink minimum thing, and, and choosing whatever my favorite drink would be, as opposed to like, if I, if I’m drinking, I think you told me, I’m not sure, but if I’m drinking something and it was just a dud, like, ugh, the bartender messed it up, or Don’t drink it.

Just either, either send it back or don’t send it back, but just don’t drink it and save that for something bad. I just, you, you didn’t force me to do things, but you recommended very smoothly things that stuck in my head. And then when you’d have me go back and listen to some of the podcast, that also [00:30:00] reinforced it for me and showed it in more, ways with other people that you’d worked with and how it was successful for them.

And some of those things I could take for myself and some of those. I just like, okay, maybe that worked for her, but that one’s not gonna work for me, but I can do this instead.

Lanee (2): Yeah.

Elizabeth: There’s

Lanee: ways,

Elizabeth: yeah. I think that when we move into midlife, it becomes more discerning like, and what I mean by that is when we’re younger and Lanee comes out, like we, we just do it all.

But then we realize, I could have not had that second dessert, right? Yep. It wasn’t that good. Yep. And so we start to learn and we become more discerning about what is worth it, quote unquote. And so like with the drink that was made for you that you didn’t like, [00:31:00] why drink it if you don’t like it?

And yet we do that all the time.

Lanee: That’s the part where you taught me to think and how important it’s to think, okay, so why would I drink it? Well, I could say because I spent money on it or because the, like, my husband ordered it for me and thought it would be fun, or because I don’t wanna make the waiter or waitress or bartender sad.

Those are just, I don’t care about those reasons anymore. Yeah. I’m, I’m 50 plus years old. I don’t care about that anymore. I’m, so then it becomes, I’m just not drinking it. And I, again, it’s up to each individual person if they wanna send it back or get their money back or whatever, but to me, I, I, that’s neither here nor there.

It’s just, I’m not drinking it. I’m not wasting my joy or my drink or my waistline for that drink. Yeah. [00:32:00] And that is not talked about really, or. I don’t, I mean, I guess it depends on how people are wired too. There’s lots of people out here who are wired like that already and like, I’m not going to drink something I don’t want to.

But there’s a lot of us, especially women who have a, a thread of people pleasing that runs throughout. That’s kind of like, I don’t wanna make a fuss of it, I’ll just drink it. Mm-hmm. Not anymore.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Well, and so tangentially let’s change topics, but kind of stay on it. People pleasing, like, I think that it was so incredibly sweet of your husband to come home after a day of you working hard and bring takeout with him.

Yep. And you were so conflicted because you were like, I have this meal that I am making. [00:33:00] And he would show up with five guys. Or some other something

Lanee: fried or something. Yep, yep. Yeah, talk about that. That one I don’t have down pat yet, but it is that, it’s that gesture. So you, there’s the gesture and the intention behind what, so he knew I’d had a hard day and he knew that I’d been kind of eating maybe more boring foods for, for a while.

Right. He also knew that I had this goal of, of, getting my body the way I wanted it, but he came home with it and then it’s like, okay, what do I do? Do I just go ahead and eat it? Because to me, this is different than the drink because the drink is like, I don’t care about the bar. I don’t know the bartender or the waiter or waitress.

That’s, those are strangers, but this is my husband. [00:34:00] And, or let’s even say that, it’s like, it was like some delicious restaurant that had like fried fish with hush puppies and stuff. ’cause five guys I could have whatever, but the, but like something like that, it’s like he took the time, he’s like, and it’s fish, which a lot of people are like, fish is healthy.

I’m like, but it’s fried. I don’t have that one down pat yet, because in my heart I’m still like, okay, Lanee, just sit down with your husband and eat it and enjoy it. But I don’t know that that fried. Again, our bodies are different. There is something to be said about how our bodies change and can’t quite process certain foods and drinks the way it used to.

What do I do? So the best answer I can say is maybe I eat a little bit of it, and, and sit and be pleasant. And then I have my other food that I was going to [00:35:00] eat and, and eat that Still too.

Elizabeth: Well, yeah, I, and I think that it’s appreciating the gesture, acknowledging it and then having some, but not going all in and feeling not only regretful of eating the thing, but then feeling over full because you ate too much of it.

And so, I love what you just said there, is having some. Connecting with him because food is such connection and belonging. Yes. And so then being able to just manage it from that standpoint. Right.

Lanee: Yeah. And actually that brings to mind that whole concept you taught me about maybe eating a little bit. This was from your, you say this in the PO in your posts on like LinkedIn and Instagram, but also when you spoke with me about eating a little.

Mm-hmm. Listening to your body and the cues, knowing when [00:36:00] you are full, knowing that you very likely don’t want to feel stuffed over full and blah. So you taught me this concept, which. Interestingly enough, nobody had ever taught me before of saying, wow, I, I really would like to like load up one more plate full and scarf it down and smile and I’m staring at it and it’s sitting right there.

And the temptation is there, but I’m not going to do it. And I’m going to let that feeling just sit there for a bit. And like, even if I take five minutes and just feel that way. And you also taught me magically after about five minutes and after you have cleared it, like out of your, out of your line of sight, out of your view, after about five minutes, I don’t know, somebody [00:37:00] texts you or the phone rings or a TV show pops on or somebody rings the doorbell or whatever.

Or you check an email and you’d forgotten all about it. And it’s not a big deal anymore, and you made it through the hardest part. And then you don’t have that food sitting on your stomach all night. It’s like you made it. And a lot of people don’t give that five minutes, like kind of get it out of your, out of your face.

But take that five minutes and say, yep, this, gosh, I really want it. Gosh, this sucks. But just don’t act on it. And the more you practice that, the better you get. I know there’s these little things on, these little reels on Instagram sometimes of these parents who will tell their kid, they have a camera secretly set up and they tell their kid, Hey, I’m gonna leave this cupcake here, but don’t eat it.

I’ll be right back. And they, they, the parent goes away for like a couple minutes. And it’s so funny because we are the audience. We can see the, through the hidden camera, the [00:38:00] kid struggling. Like, sometimes the kid will like lick it on the top or, or sometimes that’s so mean, but they’re really just, it’s like, it’s fun to, to, to post or whatever.

But really at the heart of it, it is seeing what kind of discipline this kid can have for just a few minutes. It really just takes a few minutes and then, in some cases the parent goes ahead and lets them have it. But let’s say even if the, the parent took it away. After a few minutes, the temptation is gone and the feeling passes and it’s okay.

And you, you didn’t necessarily have to consume it just because of the temptation.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Not too long ago, I actually had a experience like that myself where I had ordered, my husband went outta town and I ordered Indian food and I ate one plate and I wanted more. And so there was that discomfort of I want more, there’s more, but I know that if [00:39:00] I eat more, that I will feel worse after I eat it.

And I definitely don’t wanna feel that. And so being okay with the discomfort of that craving and wanting it, but not giving into it, that was difficult. I remember that night specifically. Yeah.

Lanee: Which is different from having a plate of the food and actually having a legitimate hunger cue. Like, oh boy, I am actually still kind of hungry.

And then you figure out what to do about that. Oh, yeah, this is the, this, this, what I’m guessing was the one where you not only were not hungry anymore, it would’ve absolutely made you feel stuffed and uncomfortable. Yeah. That’s, that’s the one. Yeah, that’s the one. And that’s, that’s like, I, I don’t get it right, 10 out 10, but I feel like I’m at [00:40:00] least seven or eight outta 10 times.

I will go ahead and just take it out of my site. Not eat it and not worry about it. Or if I’m really trying to, if I, ’cause if I’m really feeling tempted, I’ll try to throw it in the trash and pour water on top like it’s leaves, chips, especially chips. Or throw them, throw the, like, dump the bag of chips into the trash and pour water on it and take a, I don’t know, like something, a dirty coffee grounds, dirty paper towel, coffee ground, stick it on top, boom.

Then it’s like, okay, guess I’m not eating that, because that’s how hard temptation can be. Yeah. Like I could, I, I am not above going in the trash can if it’s still in the bag and the bag was kind of closed. Yeah. So I’ve gotta mess it up. That’s just me. Maybe too much information, but

Elizabeth: I, I don’t think you’re alone.

I don’t think you’re alone at all. Oh my God. I love that. Okay, so what, did you [00:41:00] have any aha moments or was there one takeaway? From our work together, other than what you had just mentioned that really just changed everything for you.

Lanee: Yes. The aha moment that I had was, it kind of circles us all the way back to the beginning again.

The more you learn, the more you know, the better you can be. The more you know equipment you have to, to succeed, the more thinking that you do. As long as you don’t start going into the area of overthinking

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Lanee: The better your life will be. I’m just, I’m just like, that is my aha moment for me and anyone who is listening, thinking.

When you sit and think through things, [00:42:00] you can save a world of time and a world of hurt by, by gently, thinking through something all the way. It can be some of the most productive time that spend in this life thinking before you do Now, I’m, I’m definitely, I definitely believe in, in action too.

You have to think and then you have to act. But just running off and acting without thinking many times is what gets us into trouble or gets us off track. But reflecting and sitting in a, like when, when people say a safe space, even creating a safe space for yourself to think where you’re not gonna judge yourself.

You’re not giving yourself negative self talk. You’re not. Overthinking and overanalyzing and doing analysis paralysis, but you are just gently reflecting and thinking is some of the most [00:43:00] productive stuff you can do. It will help you with your finances, it will help you with your relationships. It will help you with your fitness and nutrition and health goals.

It will help you even as, as simple as if you have to go to the, the bank, the post office, and the grocery store, sit and think for one or two minutes about what’s the best route to do it. And like, well, if you go to the post office before the, the rush of people after work comes and you can get that done and then that’s on the way to the grocery store.

And then you can end it up at the, at the last one with, with the, you just, you just take your time. Taking your time and doing things slowly and thinking it through is faster. Than just jumping and doing it. And there’s something to be said about all of that with being the best person you can be with being, with the, with the eating component, sitting [00:44:00] for just a little bit and thinking about what you want to have your meals looking like, or how you can incorporate a little more protein and vegetables and water into your day will enhance all of your goals.

It, it’ll just make your life better. That’s my aha. And that’s because you, I know

Elizabeth: that, I know that you didn’t want to, do thought your work, you were resistant to doing the thought work because you were afraid that you were gonna start over analyzing everything. Yes. And I want everyone to understand that when we’re talking about thought work, it’s really just about becoming aware of why I made the choices that I did.

And that awareness is what Lanee is talking about in terms of when you can be intentional about, okay, so the plan was X, but I’m gonna do [00:45:00] Y, do I like my reasons for doing Y or not? And just being aware again of why I made that decision so that yeah, you’re again, just more intentional. Yeah.

Lanee: Yeah. And so in the future you, you might make different choices.

And there is a beauty, there’s an art to it. Because to your point, yeah, I don’t want this to lead to a person analyzing, oh my gosh, why did I do this? Why did I do that? Like on, on a, on steroids type of thinking. But just taking a moment to consider why, yeah, why you, why you’re doing this or that. Is, it can be very helpful.

And, unfortunately, I must say that if, if, if it feels like you’re having trouble with it, with that art, then please reach out to Elizabeth Sherman because, that is part of what [00:46:00] you like, not like, I know you’re not a, like being a therapist, but it, and it is more based on a, health component, but there’s something really special about what I learned with you from that, that I didn’t expect to, to have to, to learn.

And it has affected multiple areas of my life. And it has, it has become something that I do in a gentle way, not on overdrive. And it, and it’s what, it’s why I am really on target with my health goals right now, better than I’ve been. And, and it in, in at least five years.

Elizabeth: Yeah,

Lanee: yeah,

Elizabeth: yeah. I am uncovering, I mean, it’s, yeah, the, the thought work piece, I’m uncovering new thoughts all the time myself, and so if someone’s like, I don’t know what you’re talking about, or reluctant to do it, be [00:47:00] aware that I was there.

When I started all of this stuff, I was unaware of what my thoughts and feelings were. I was just like, well, I guess I’m just a procrastinator. I guess I’m just lazy, I guess I’m just not meant to do this. And so there are techniques that you can learn to help you to not be that way because we are not inherently lazy people.

Yeah,

Lanee: no, that what you said is, is actually maybe even the most important takeaway of all. Not just why we’re doing the things we’re doing, but actually what are we saying to ourselves as well? Because that can be uncovered as well. I I, I don’t want anyone who’s listening to be playing some kind of tape in their head and saying to themselves that they’re lazy or that they aren’t good.

Like [00:48:00] uncovering that in itself is important. And if they are thinking some of those things, then that is leading them to do things. That’s maybe their why they’re doing some things. If you already think, well, I’m lazy and it’s pointless, then why would I bother to, to even try it? It becomes a bad circle and that circle can be broken or, or rerouted into a straight line.

It goes up and, and, and out in good ways. I just. That’s why we’re talking about stuff like this. This is, this is, this is the kind of stuff I like to talk about. I, I just really don’t want anyone out there continuing on that line if they don’t have to. And what now that, now that they know they don’t have to.

Elizabeth: Well, and that’s a lot. Let’s go back to your podcast for a second. So that’s a lot what your podcast talks about, right?

Lanee: Yes. We Tell us more about

Elizabeth: your podcast.

Lanee: Oh, wow. Imagine Yourself [00:49:00] is a podcast that, like I said, it is inspirational and it is meant to talk about how we want to imagine ourselves in our next season of life.

So if we want to imagine ourselves healthier, wealthier, wiser, better, we take on topics that do talk about mental health, relationships, finances, career work, faith, physical health, we hit on all these different components. Every other week we’ve got either an expert coming in or Sandy and myself reflecting on things that we are working on or that we feel that we have pretty much perfected.

It is just all about self-improvement. And I know self-improvement and positivity sometimes gets a corny rap lately, because it’s kind of, people are kinda like over, kind of over it as far as hearing [00:50:00] about that. But I, I do believe that there is still so much potential that we have within us to be happier and to live better.

Live our, live our best lives, live our best selves. And I, every, every time we release a podcast and me being on this podcast is solely for that purpose. Sometimes I sit and listen to your podcast or I’ll sit into, listen to my own podcast as if I wasn’t even on it. And I’m learned stuff like it is, it brings that light bulb.

’cause sometimes you, you do need to expand what you’re learning and what you’re hearing from, so,

Lanee (2): yeah.

Elizabeth: Yeah. I was just writing about this on social the other day. I, I took a journal writing class in high school. Okay. And the teacher doesn’t know it, but she completely changed my life. Because a lot of the techniques that I [00:51:00] do with my clients are actually techniques and tools that I actually learned from her.

One of the biggest was visualization. And so when you’re talking about Imagine yourself, yes, I am a firm believer that if I can visualize something, if I can imagine myself doing something, then that means that it’s in alignment with something that I want. It’s achievable for me. And that has, that has been a running, mindset in my entire life that if I can imagine it, I can achieve it.

Lanee: We have to have you now on Imagine Yourself Podcast to talk about that exact topic, because as much as that’s the title of our podcast, I’ve never. Had it or heard it verbalized that way. And I think you have just hit on something phenomenal that there are [00:52:00] folks right now who, who need, including me, who need to get let that hit home.

Yeah. I, I’m, yeah. Would you please be on our podcast and talk about that, like as a whole episode? A whole episode about visualization and really imagining it and then that makes it, that makes all the difference. And even the part about, God bless you, your teacher. I knew you gotta find her. Yeah,

Elizabeth: I know, right?

Reunite me. I don’t even remember her name. I remember what she looks like.

Lanee: Oh, but you don’t remember. Oh my gosh. So you can’t know casing. It’s harder to find her, but like that is critical. That is just critical. I have not had anyone really teach me the art of visualization. And that may be yet another missing piece.

That’s what I said. We just keep learning and growing. No matter what age we are, that is, yeah, I like that.

Lanee (2): Yeah,

Lanee: I, I need help with that. ’cause that one I do, I did not have that teacher.

Elizabeth: Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [00:53:00] Awesome. Well thank you so much for being on here. Is there anything else that you wanna share with the listeners?

Lanee: The only thing I can think of after all of this is just, really kind of keeping our ears and eyes open for. Ways that we can be helped. I’m a very faith-filled person, so I do believe that that God is, is sending nudges and information and almost like pretend billboards to us sometimes that we, if we’re not careful, we’re not, aware that, that we passed by the billboard, that would’ve really solved the question of, of so many problems.

So I do just want to say that because that’s a part of me so much that whether, whether a person’s faith filled or not, but especially if they are, just really take some quiet moments to, to look around and listen for those wonderful [00:54:00] nudges that will lead you in the right direction and the right path.

And to people that can help, like, like Elizabeth are to, things that will just enhance our lives. That’s all. That’s all I know.

Elizabeth: Thank you for being on the episode today and sharing your amazing wisdom.

Lanee: Thank you for having me. And don’t forget to come on. Imagine yourself.

Elizabeth: Yes, and don’t forget to listen to Imagine yourself.

We’ll definitely put that in the show notes for sure.

Lanee: Thank you. Thanks for having me though. For real, truly, and for helping me in all the many ways of my thought life and my body life. And my health life. Thank you. I love you. You too.

Elizabeth: Oh my goodness. I just love her. Wasn’t that just an amazing conversation with Lanee? It was so, I don’t know. Grounding. I love how she reminded us that real change isn’t about being perfect. It’s about thinking differently. It’s about asking better [00:55:00] questions, and it’s about becoming the kind of woman who can trust herself with food, rest. Time and pleasure all without a bunch of drama. Now, if you found yourself nodding along or even thinking, I want that kind of ease too. I want you to know that it is possible and you don’t have to do it alone. And this is exactly the kind of work that I do with my clients every single day.

We figure out what works for your real life, not someone else’s ideal version of it. So if you’re curious what that might look like for you, I wanna invite you to book an I know what to do, I’m just not doing it. Strategy call with me. The link is in the show notes, and if you loved hearing from Lanee, go check out her podcast, the Imagine Yourself Podcast.

She and her co-host Sandy, are thoughtful, wise, and just so good at creating the kinds of conversations that we need [00:56:00] more of in midlife. So thank you for being here with me today. Have an amazing week, and I will talk to you next time. Bye bye.

Elizabeth New: Hey, so if you’ve been nodding along and thinking, okay, I know what to do, Elizabeth, I’m just not doing it. I have got something for you. It’s my free podcast listener’s guide. It’s a curated roadmap to help you get started with the most helpful episodes based on exactly what you need right now. Go to elizabethsherman.com/roadmap and take the guesswork out of where to begin with the Total Health and Midlife podcast.