Total Health in Midlife Episode #202: How to Enjoy Treats Without the Guilt

How do you feel about treats? Are you tired of feeling guilty every time you indulge? Or maybe you’ve tried to cut out treats completely only to find yourself binging later. What if I told you there’s a way to enjoy your treats without sabotaging your health goals?

In today’s episode, I’m going to reveal why the all or nothing approach to treats often backfires. And how you can create a sustainable, enjoyable relationship with the foods that you love, treats included. You’ll discover why what you consider a treat might be different from me or someone else. And how this personalization is key to your success.

Most importantly, I’ll introduce you to a perspective on treats that could revolutionize not just your eating habits, but your entire approach to finding pleasure and satisfaction in life. Stay tuned because by the end of this episode, you’ll have a new understanding of how to limit treats in a way that feels freeing and not restrictive.

This isn’t just about food. It’s about creating a life so fulfilling that treats enhance it rather than define it. Don’t miss out on this game changing approach to health and happiness.

Welcome to Total Health and Midlife, the podcast for women embracing the pivotal transformation from the daily grind to the dawn of a new chapter. I’m Elizabeth, your host and fellow traveler on this journey.

As a Life and Health Coach, I am intimately familiar with the changes and challenges we face during this stage. Shifting careers, changing relationships, our new bodies, and redefining goals and needs as we start to look to the future and ask, what do I want?

In this podcast, we’ll explore physical, mental, and emotional wellness, offering insights and strategies to achieve optimal health through these transformative years.

Yes, it’s totally possible.

Join me in this amazing journey of body, mind, and spirit, where we’re not just improving our health, but transforming our entire lives.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Total Health in Midlife Podcast. I am Elizabeth Sherman, and today, we are diving into the final habit of our 8 Basic Habits series, ‘Limiting Treats.’ Making sure to emphasize that this habit is not eliminate treats. Now, this habit isn’t about depriving yourself or saying goodbye to your favorite indulgences forever. It’s about straddling that line between being completely disciplined, where no treats are allowed, and what many of us experience, the feeling of complete lack of control around treats.

Over the past year, I’ve explored the 8 Basic Habits that Healthy People Do. Each habit explored in its own episode. From drinking water and eating vegetables, to managing stress and getting enough sleep. Each habit plays a crucial role in your overall health. And now, we’re tackling what might be the most misunderstood habit of all. Habit 8, Limit Treats.

Limiting Treat is often seen as the villain of the health story. We’re told, ‘eat this, don’t eat that.’ It’s the part where all the fun goes out the window. But that’s not the case at all. In fact, understanding how to incorporate treats into your life in a balanced way can be the key to long term success and satisfaction with your health journey.

This habit isn’t about restriction or punishment. It’s about finding a sweet spot, pun intended, where you can enjoy all the foods that you love without compromising your health goals. It’s about creating a sustainable approach to eating that doesn’t leave you feeling deprived or guilty.

As we unpack this habit, you might be surprised to discover that it’s not just about what you eat, but also about your relationship with food and pleasure in general. We’ll explore how this habit intertwines with the others we’ve discussed and how it can actually enhance your enjoyment of treats when you do have them.

Let’s reframe how we think about treats and discover how this final habit can be the missing piece in your health puzzle. When we talk about limiting treats, the first question that I often get asked is, ‘Okay Elizabeth, what exactly is a treat?’ And here’s the thing, there’s no universal definition. What constitute a treat is deeply personal and can vary widely from one person to another.

Now for some, a treat might be a decadent piece of chocolate cake. For others, it could be a glass of wine, a bag of chips, or even cheese. The key is to recognize what feels special or indulgent to you personally, not what someone else or some diet guru has labeled, ‘bad’ food. And I put bad in quotes, right?

Your definition of a treat might be influenced by your upbringing, by your cultural background, or your personal preferences. Maybe for you, it’s that fancy coffee drink that you grab on Friday mornings, or the ice cream that you enjoy on movie nights. It’s important to identify what you consider treats without judgment. There’s no right or wrong here. It’s all about self-awareness.

What’s fascinating is how our perception of treats can evolve over time. As you make changes to your eating habits, you might find that foods that you once considered everyday items start to feel a little bit more like treats.

I had a client, Cindy, who was adamant about not giving up her daily diet soda when we started working together. Fast forward a few months, and she was viewing her diet ‘mountain dew’ as an occasional treat rather than a daily necessity. This shift happens naturally as your palate adjusts, and your relationship with food changes.

Foods that once seemed bland might start to taste sweeter. Whole foods might become more satisfying. The super sugary snack that you used to crave might start to feel too sweet. Keep in mind that the goal here isn’t to label treats as bad or off limits. It’s about understanding what feels special to you and finding a balance that allows you to enjoy these foods without them dominating your diet.

By defining your treats, you’re taking the first step towards a more mindful and balanced approach to eating. One that can actually enhance your enjoyment of these special foods and when you do have them. When it comes to treats, there’s a tempting idea that if we just cut them out completely, that we’ll reach our health goals faster. It’s that all or nothing mindset that says, if I’m perfect, then I’ll get perfect results.

But here’s the harsh reality. This approach often backfires, and often, spectacularly so. So, let’s talk about why. When we completely eliminate treats, we’re not just removing food from our diet. We’re creating a psychological pressure cooker. Our brains don’t like being told, no or never.

And as a result, they rebel. This is where the infamous Minnesota Starvation Experiment comes in. During World War II, researchers studied the effects of severe calorie restriction on young men. What they found was shocking. The participants became obsessed with food, hoarding cookbooks, and recipes. Their minds were consumed with thoughts of eating.

Now, while cutting out treats isn’t as extreme as wartime starvation, the principle is actually similar. When we tell ourselves that we can never have something, our brains start to fixate on it. That cookie that you’ve sworn off, it suddenly becomes all that you can think about.

This obsession often leads to binging when willpower inevitably breaks down. Moreover, complete elimination doesn’t teach us how to handle treats in real life. Sure, you might lose weight quickly by being quote unquote ‘perfect.’ But what happens when you reach your goal?

If you haven’t learned how to incorporate treats in a balanced way, you’re likely to fall back into old patterns leading to the frustrating cycle of yo yo dieting. The key is sustainability. A sustainable approach allows for treats in moderation. It might mean progress is slower, but it’s progress that you can maintain. I mean, consider this. Would you rather lose weight quickly and be miserable in the process. And then, gain it all back or lose it slowly in an enjoyable way, and ultimately, keep it off.

By allowing treats in a controlled manner, you’re not just working towards your health goals. You’re building a lifestyle that you can actually live with. You’re learning how to enjoy foods you love without letting them derail your progress. This balanced approach helps you to develop a healthier relationship with food, free from the guilt and obsession that often comes with strict elimination.

The goal isn’t to be perfect. It’s to be consistent, balanced, and happy with your choices. That’s the path to true lasting health. So, we’ve established that completely cutting out treats isn’t the answer. But how do we actually go about limiting them in a way that’s both effective and sustainable?

The key is a gradual approach. Think of it as gently turning down the volume rather than abruptly unplugging the speakers. Let’s start with a real life example. So, imagine that you’re in the habit of eating five Oreos every day after lunch. The all or nothing approach would tell you to go cold turkey. No more Oreos. You’ve sworn it off. Period.

But we know that that’s likely to backfire. Instead, let’s look at how we could taper this habit. You might start by reducing your daily Oreo intake from 5 to 4. It’s a small change, but it’s significant. You’re still enjoying your treat, but you’re also making progress. After a week or two, when this new pattern feels normal, you might reduce it to three Oreos. And then two, and then, eventually one.

The beauty of this approach is that it respects your current habits and preferences while gently steering you towards your health goals. Your taste buds and your habits have time to adjust. You’re not fighting against a tidal wave of cravings. You’re slowly redirecting the flow.

Now, you might be thinking, ‘but Elizabeth, won’t I still be craving those extra Oreos? And you’re right, at first you probably will. But here’s where things get interesting. As you gradually reduce your intake, your palate starts to change. That one Oreo might start to taste sweeter, more satisfying. You might even find that you don’t need more, or that you don’t really like it.

When I started working with my client Cindy, again, she was adamant that she wasn’t willing to give up her daily soda. It was diet soda, after all. And she didn’t see it as a problem. Of course, I didn’t push her. I meet my clients where they are. And forcing change rarely works.

Instead, we focused on other aspects of her diet and lifestyle. I knew that when she was ready to address her soda habit, that she would do it. So, as Cindy started incorporating more water, and eating more vegetables, and balancing her meals with protein, something interesting happened.

She began to notice that her soda didn’t taste quite as good as it used to. She found herself reaching for it less often. By the end of our time together, Cindy had naturally reduced her soda intake. What’s more? She now views her diet Mountain Dew as an occasional treat rather than a daily necessity.

This change wasn’t forced. It evolved naturally as her overall diet and palate changed. This gradual approach works because it aligns with how our brains and bodies actually adapt to change. It’s not about willpower or discipline. It’s about slowly shifting your habits and preferences in a direction that supports your health goals.

The goal isn’t to never have treats. It’s to find a balance where treats enhance your life without dominating it. By taking a gradual approach, you’re not just changing what you eat, you’re changing your relationship with food. You’re learning to savor and appreciate treats more fully, rather than consuming them mindlessly out of habit.

So, as you think about limiting treats in your own life, consider this. What small step can you take today? Can you reduce the portion size slightly? Can you enjoy your treat more mindfully? Can you space out your treats a bit more? Start small. Be patient with yourself and watch how these tiny changes add up over time.

Limiting treats isn’t an isolated habit. It’s deeply interconnected with the other seven basic habits that we’ve discussed in this series. When we understand these connections, we can create a powerful synergy that makes healthy living feel less like a chore, and more like a natural flow.

Let’s start with eating protein and getting enough sleep. When we are well rested and our meals are balanced with protein, we are less likely to experience the energy crashes that often lead to craving sugary treats. Protein helps stabilize our blood sugar, while good sleep regulates our hunger hormones. Together, they create a stable foundation that reduces the urge to reach for quick energy fixes.

Stress management also plays a crucial role too. How many times have you reached for a treat when you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious? By developing healthy stress management techniques, we are less likely to use food as an emotional crutch. Drinking water and eating vegetables might seem unrelated to treating, but they are actually powerful food allies.

When we’re well hydrated and filling our plates with nutrient dense vegetables, we’re naturally more satisfied. This satisfaction can help curb cravings and make treats feel more like a choice rather than a necessity.

As we move into midlife, the connection between our treats and how we feel becomes even more pronounced. That glass of wine that used to help you unwind might now start causing insomnia. And the cheese plate that you love might be contributing to joint pain. Sugar and refined flour could be triggering hot flashes and night sweats. Even your favorite chips might be causing inflammation that you didn’t experience before.

This is key to my teachings. We want our food to uplift and support a healthy, full life. We don’t want our food to be the reason that we feel bad. It’s about understanding that what we eat impacts every aspect of our wellbeing.

By focusing on these interconnected habits, we create an environment where limiting treats becomes easier and more natural. We’re not just arbitrarily cutting back. We’re building a lifestyle where we naturally gravitate towards choices that make us feel good.

Don’t forget that the goal isn’t to achieve perfection in all these areas at once. It’s about recognizing how they work together and making small improvements across the board. And as you do this, you might find that your desire for treats naturally shifts. Aligning more closely with what truly serves your body and your life.

Let’s talk about the emotional aspects of treating ourselves. Because let’s face it, we don’t just reach for treats because we’re hungry. More often than not, treats are our go to source for a quick hit of pleasure. Comfort or Escape.

So, think about it. When was the last time you craved a cookie because you were hungry? Probably, never. But I bet you can recall countless times when you’ve reached for a treat because you were stressed, bored, or simply wanted to feel good for a moment.

This is where things get interesting and challenging. Treats often become our default way of injecting pleasure into our lives. They’re easy because they’re accessible, and they work. At least, in the short term. But here’s the million dollar question. What void are these treats really filling?

Are they a stand in for relaxation in a hectic life? Are they providing a moment of indulgence in a day that feels like it’s full of sacrifice? Are they a quick escape from stress or uncomfortable emotions? Understanding the role treats play in your emotional life is crucial to changing your relationship with them.

I have a saying that I often share with my clients. It’s ‘if the best part of your day is chocolate cake, we need to fix your day.’ And it’s not about demonizing the chocolate cake. It’s about recognizing that if food is your primary source of pleasure and satisfaction, there might be other areas of your life that need attention. And this is where the real work begins.

It’s about creating a life that’s more satisfying than any treat could ever be. It’s about finding sources of pleasure, relaxation, and fulfillment that nourish your soul, not just your taste buds. Maybe it’s rediscovering a hobby that you’ve neglected. Perhaps it’s nurturing meaningful relationships or setting aside time for activities that truly light you up.

It could be as simple as creating moments of peace in your day or as profound as reconnecting with your life’s purpose. When you start filling your life with these non-food sources of pleasure and satisfaction, something magical happens. Treats start to take their proper place in your life. They become what they were always meant to be. Occasional indulgences that enhance your life rather than crutches that you lean on for emotional support.

This shift doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not always easy. It requires self-reflection, honesty, and sometimes facing the uncomfortable truths about our habits and our coping mechanisms. But the payoff is enormous. Imagine a life where you enjoy treats without guilt or compulsion, where you have a toolkit of strategies for dealing with stress and emotions that don’t revolve around food.

As you work on limiting treats, I encourage you to simultaneously work on enriching the other areas of your life. Ask yourself, ‘what brings me joy?’ What makes me feel alive? What have I been putting off that I know would make me feel good?

The goal isn’t to never have treats, it’s to create a life where treats enhance your happiness rather than serve as your primary source of it. When you have a life full of meaningful activities, connections and experiences, that piece of chocolate cake becomes a delightful addition to an already satisfying day, not a desperate attempt to find some joy in a dreary existence.

This is the true power of limiting treats. It’s not just about what you’re eating less of but rather, what you’re making room for in your life. It’s about creating a life that’s sweeter than the dessert could ever be.

So, let’s talk about the real world challenges of limiting treats because let’s face it, this isn’t always a smooth ride. One of the biggest hurdles that you’ll face is dealing with cravings and ingrained habits. These aren’t just about willpower. They’re deeply rooted in your brain’s reward system and years of conditioning.

When a craving hits, it can feel overwhelming. Your brain is literally wired to seek out these high reward foods. But here’s the thing, cravings are like waves. They build, they peak, and then they subside if you don’t act on them.

Recognizing this pattern can be incredibly empowering. Instead of fighting the craving, try observing it with curiosity. What triggered it? How does it feel in your body? Often, just this act of mindful observation can help the craving to pass more easily.

Next, let’s talk about social situations. The birthday parties, the holiday gatherings, the nights out with friends. These can be landmines when you’re trying to limit treats. The key here is planning and flexibility. Maybe you decide to enjoy a treat at the party but balance it out with a lighter meal earlier in the day. Or perhaps you choose to focus on the social aspect of the gathering rather than the food.

The goal here is progress, not perfection. Maintaining progress long term is where many people stumble. The initial motivation wears off, old habits creep back in. And before you know it, you’re back where you started.

This is where the real work of habit change comes in. It’s not about white knuckling your way through each day. It’s about gradually reshaping your lifestyle so that limiting treats becomes your new normal.

One effective strategy is to regularly check in with yourself. How do you feel when you’re eating fewer treats? How’s your energy, your sleep, your mood? Recognizing these positive changes can be a powerful motivator to stay on track. It’s also crucial to be kind to yourself when you slip up. Because you will slip up! And that’s okay.

A misstep doesn’t erase all of your hard work. It’s just a moment in time and a chance to learn and adjust your approach. Overcoming these challenges isn’t about having iron willpower. It’s about understanding your triggers, and planning for difficult situations. And consistently, making choices that align with your long term health goals. It’s a skill that you build over time, and with each challenge you overcome, you’re strengthening your ability to maintain this healthier relationship with treats for the long haul.

So, as I wrap up this episode, I want to emphasize that limiting treats isn’t about deprivation or punishment. It’s about creating a balanced, sustainable approach to eating that supports your health and happiness in the long run. I’ve shared how treats are personal and how our perceptions of them can change over time.

I’ve explained why completely eliminating treats often backfires and how a gradual approach can lead to lasting change. I’ve highlighted the connection between this habit and the other seven habits that make up this series, showing how they work together to support your overall health.

Don’t forget that it’s not just about the food.

I’ve talked about the emotional aspects of treating and the importance of creating a life that’s more satisfying and pleasurable than any treat could possibly be. And I’ve addressed the real world challenges that you might face from cravings to social situations as you work on limiting your treats.

The key takeaway is this. Small, consistent changes can lead to big results over time. You don’t have to overhaul your diet entirely overnight. Start with where you are, and make gradual adjustments and be patient with yourself as you learn and grow.

If you’re ready to create a life that’s better than chocolate cake, but you feel like you need more personalized support. I can guide you through the process of limiting treats in a way that’s tailored to where you are right now and where you want to go. I can help you put together a plan that not only helps you achieve your health goals, but also enhances your overall quality of life.

To explore how we can work together, visit elizabethsherman.com/call to schedule a consultation. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. I can help you to create a healthier, more balanced relationship with treats and with food in general.

That’s all I have for you right now. Have an amazing day. I’ll talk to you next time. Bye-bye.

Thank you for tuning in today. Now, if you enjoy the podcast and are ready to take the next step in addressing your health concerns, I would love to invite you to schedule an I Know What To Do, I’m Just Not Doing It strategy call.

In this 60 minute session, we will explore what’s holding you back and create a personalized action plan. You will gain clarity, support, and practical steps to move you forward. Visit elizabethsherman.com/call to book your call now. You can transform your health and I would love to be there to help.