Total Health in Midlife Episode #208: Menopause Survival Guide: Pt 1 Why We Feel Stuck

Have you ever wondered why no one warned you about menopause? Why you feel blindsided by symptoms like brain fog, hot flashes, or weight gain, and why nothing that you’ve tried actually seems to work? You are not alone. For generations, women have been kept in the dark about this transition, left to figure it out on their own. But here’s the thing. It doesn’t have to be this way moving forward.

So, in today’s episode, we are pulling back the curtain on menopause, the stigma, the confusion, and why so many women feel stuck. We’ll talk about the hidden reasons behind your symptoms, the myths that have kept us silent, and how this stage of life can actually be a turning point for your health.

If you’ve been struggling and feel like no one understands, this episode will change the way that you think about menopause, and it will give you the clarity that you’ve been craving. So, don’t miss out. By the end of this episode, you will see that you are not alone and you don’t have to settle for just dealing with it.

So, let’s get to it.

Welcome to Total Health and Midlife, the podcast for women embracing the pivotal transformation from the daily grind to the dawn of a new chapter. I’m Elizabeth, your host and fellow traveler on this journey.

As a Life and Health Coach, I am intimately familiar with the changes and challenges we face during this stage. Shifting careers, changing relationships, our new bodies, and redefining goals and needs as we start to look to the future and ask, what do I want?

In this podcast, we’ll explore physical, mental, and emotional wellness, offering insights and strategies to achieve optimal health through these transformative years.

Yes, it’s totally possible.

Join me in this amazing journey of body, mind, and spirit, where we’re not just improving our health, but transforming our entire lives.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Total Health in Midlife podcast. I am your host, Elizabeth Sherman, and I am so incredibly happy that you are joining me today. Have you ever felt like your body suddenly started working against you? Raise your hand. I know that my hand is raised.

So, perhaps you’ve been blindsided by things like hot flashes that leave you flushed and frustrated. Or that brain fog that has you stumbling over simple words. Or perhaps you’ve noticed that your waistline is shifting and no matter how hard you try to eat quote unquote right or exercise and all you can think of is, why didn’t anyone warn me about this?

Now, if this sounds familiar, you are in the right place. Menopause and perimenopause can feel like a storm that you were not prepared for. And unfortunately, many of us have been left without the map. This isn’t just about hormones just running wild. It’s about the ripple effect that these changes can have on every part of your life.

Your energy, your mood, your sense of control, and worst of all, feeling like you are the only one struggling because no one’s talking about it. That’s why today we are unpacking why menopause feels so overwhelming and what’s been holding us back from understanding and addressing it.

By the end of this episode, I hope that you will feel just a little less alone. And a whole lot more ready to rewrite the story that our culture has handed us about this stage of life. Now, let’s be honest. Anything to do with women’s bodies has historically been treated as taboo, right? Think back to when you first got your very first period. Was it celebrated? Did anyone hand you a cake and say, welcome to womanhood. Of course, if they did, you probably would have been mortified, right?

For most of us, it was awkward, embarrassing, and definitely not something that we talked about outside of, you know, our close group of friends. If even that, it was private. And by private, what we really mean is shameful. That shame didn’t just magically disappear as we grew older. It actually followed us into adulthood, creating this strange, unspoken rule that anything related to menses, blood, hormones, or our reproductive system is just gross or too much information.

And now, here we are going through menopause, another major change in our bodies, and we’re still not talking about it. Not with our partners, not with our coworkers, barely even with our closest friends. And why is that? Well, a lot of it goes back to who’s been in charge of the narrative.

For generations, men have been the ones leading medical research, writing the textbooks, and deciding where funding should go. Women’s bodies were deemed, quote unquote too complicated or unpredictable. So, they just didn’t study them. And for most of the health advice that we’ve been given, it assumes that women are just simply smaller men. And the truth is, is that we’re not.

Our biology is entirely different but because men control the purse strings, women’s health has been overlooked, underfunded, and completely misunderstood. And let’s not forget about how quickly women are dismissed when we do speak up. How many times have you heard or been told, ‘Oh, she must just be on her period.’ As if our feelings or experiences don’t count. It’s infuriating. And it’s a systemic way of silencing us. And it teaches us from a very early age, to keep quiet about what’s going on with our bodies.

Add to that a culture obsessed with youth. I mean, look around. How many times do you see older women celebrated in the media? I mean, it’s changing right now, but aging is treated as something to fight against at all costs. Which is why menopause is often portrayed as the ultimate enemy. It’s seen as a sign of quote unquote losing value, right? Which is completely ridiculous, but that message is everywhere.

This combination of shame, dismissal, and cultural silence has left so many of us completely unprepared. We weren’t taught what to expect. And when the symptoms hit, we feel blindsided. Worse, we don’t even know where to turn to for real support. This lack of education and openness has cost us emotionally, physically, and even socially.

Now, menopause is a natural biological transition. It’s a phase of life that every woman will experience. Yet, most of us enter it feeling completely unprepared. Now, at its simplest, menopause is the point in time when your body has gone a full 12 months without a menstrual cycle. That’s it. A single date on the calendar. But as we know, there’s so much more to the story than just that.

Now, before menopause officially begins, there’s perimenopause. And this is the years leading up to that one year marker. During this time, your hormones, particularly estrogen and progesterone start to fluctuate. You might notice irregular periods, hot flashes, mood swings, or trouble sleeping.

Think of it as like a reverse puberty. Just like when your body was ramping up its hormones to support reproduction, now it’s dialing them back. Your body is recalibrating, but the process isn’t always smooth. And just like puberty, it can leave you feeling a little out of control.

Now, once you’ve passed the one year mark, you are officially in menopause. But here’s the thing. The symptoms don’t just stop there. Many women experience what’s called post menopause, where symptoms like hot flashes or joint pain can linger for many years. For some, it’s mild and manageable. But for others, it’s disruptive and overwhelming.

Now, here’s what I’ve noticed. Every woman’s experience is completely unique. Some women sail through this transition with barely a hiccup, while others feel like their bodies have been completely hijacked. The symptoms and their intensity can vary wildly based on genetics, lifestyle, and overall health.

If your mother or grandmother had an early or particularly intense menopause, now there’s a very high probability that you might as well. But even with families, there’s no guarantees. It’s highly personal. What’s frustrating is that no one ever tells us how unpredictable this process can be. Society loves to treat women as a monolith, but we are not all the same.

Menopause doesn’t have to be a one size fits all blueprint. And it’s time we stop pretending that it does. So, the bottom line here is that this isn’t something that’s happening to you. It’s your body’s way of transitioning into a new phase of life.

One that comes with it, its own challenges, but also its own opportunities. And when we understand what’s happening and why, we can stop fighting against our bodies and start working with them.

So, let’s start with the simple truth. Most women are completely unprepared for menopause. And it’s no wonder. Our mothers didn’t talk about it. Their doctors probably didn’t explain it at all. And to be fair, they might not even know what was happening themselves.

Only in recent years has there been a more widespread research and understanding of menopause. So, if you’re feeling confused, frustrated, or like you’re navigating this massive change blindfolded, you’re not alone.

Think about it. If you had asked your mother or grandmother what menopause was like for them. Would they have had clear answers? Probably not. Maybe they mentioned hot flashes or mood swings in passing, but most likely they chalked it up to getting older, or that’s just the way things are. They didn’t know that as of this point, we’ve identified over 80 symptoms associated with menopause.

Yeah, that’s a lot. More than 80. And the wild part is that no two women experience menopause the exact same way. So, your best friend might struggle with night sweats and insomnia while you’re dealing with joint pain and brain fog. It’s unpredictable, which only adds to the confusion.

And then, there’s the emotional toil. These symptoms aren’t just physical, they creep into every single part of your life. It’s the frustration of trying to explain what you’re feeling to someone who doesn’t understand. The confusion of wondering if this is just aging or if something’s wrong with you.

The sense of losing control when your body refuses to respond to the things that used to work. Like cutting calories or hitting the gym harder. And here’s where it even gets trickier. Lifestyle factors like stress, diet, and sleep can make these symptoms worse.

When you’re already feeling overwhelmed, a bad night’s sleep or a stressful week can amplify everything. That brain fog, it gets heavier. Those mood swings, they hit harder. It’s like a vicious cycle that you just can’t escape.

But here’s what I need you to hear. It’s not your fault. You didn’t choose to feel this way, and you certainly didn’t cause it. Society didn’t prepare you for this. And for that, you have every right to feel angry or let down. But while it’s not your fault, you don’t have to stay stuck here either. There are ways to take back control. Not by fighting your body, but by learning how to work with it.

Menopause is a transition, not a dead end. And when you understand what’s happening and why, it becomes a little less scary, a little less overwhelming. And from there, you can start to rebuild step by step into a version of yourself that feels stronger, more confident, and more in control than ever.

What if Menopause isn’t actually the end of something, but the beginning. A chance to recalibrate, to redefine, and take charge of your health in ways that you’ve never been able to before. Now, I know that that might sound impossible. Maybe it might sound a little Pollyanna ish or idealistic. Especially, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by symptoms, but stick with me here.

This stage of life can actually be a wakeup call. A moment when you get to examine what’s been working for you and what hasn’t. And start building habits that support the version of yourself that you truly want to be. Because here’s the thing.

Many of the struggles that we face during menopause aren’t entirely new. They’re old habits that are just bubbling up to the surface. Poor sleep routines, a tricky relationship with food, inconsistent exercise habits, or ineffective ways of managing our stress.

These things might have worked well enough in your 20s or 30s, and even maybe your 40s. But now your body is demanding more from you. It’s not about punishment. It’s about your body asking for the care and attention that it deserved all along.

What’s amazing is that there’s so much that you can do to manage your symptoms naturally. You don’t have to rely solely on herbs or drugs. Although, I’m not against them if you do need them. But wouldn’t it be incredible to start with the tools that you already have access to? Simple natural remedies like adjusting your routines, the way that you eat, how you move, and how you manage your stress.

These are the things that you can control, things that you don’t have to buy, and things that don’t come with side effects. I also want to acknowledge something that many women feel but rarely talk about. And that’s the frustration, the resentment, and the sense that this just isn’t fair.

It’s okay to feel those things. Maybe you’re angry that your partner isn’t dealing with the same struggles. Maybe you’re tired of feeling like society treats women and menopause as something to hide or be embarrassed about. You are totally allowed to feel all of that. But here’s the empowering part. You don’t have to buy into that narrative anymore.

Menopause isn’t something to fear or hide. It’s a feminist act to talk about it openly, to share what you’re going through, and to take control of your health. It’s a moment to reclaim your power, advocate for yourself, and rewrite the script that society has handed you. Because this isn’t the end. It’s the start of something new. You don’t have to live with the frustration, the confusion, or overwhelm that menopause has brought into your life.

Managing your symptoms and reclaiming your health is absolutely possible, without feeling like you’re fighting your body at every turn. Whether you want to avoid HRT entirely or combine it with lifestyle changes for even better results. There are ways to feel more in control, more like yourself, and more at ease in this phase of life.

And you don’t have to figure it out alone. That’s where I come in. I have helped thousands of women just like you navigate this transition with practical, personalized strategies that align with their goals and values.

Together, we can make sense of your symptoms. We can identify what’s working against you and create sustainable changes that leave you feeling empowered and in control. If you’re ready to take that first step, I want to invite you to schedule a strategy call with me at elizabethsherman.com/call. That will be in the show notes.

And during our call, we’ll talk about what’s going on for you right now and how we can make impactful changes to help you feel better without the guesswork, without the overwhelm, or the frustration. And be aware that next episode of this podcast will be part two of this discussion.

So, we’re going to go deeper into the topics that we touched on today. Make sure to tune in. But for now, take that first step towards relief by scheduling that call. You don’t have to do this alone. Let me help you make it easier.

That’s all I have for you today. Have an amazing week. And I’ll see you back here next week. Bye-bye.

Thank you for tuning in today. Now, if you enjoy the podcast and are ready to take the next step in addressing your health concerns, I would love to invite you to schedule an I Know What To Do, I’m Just Not Doing It strategy call.

In this 60 minute session, we will explore what’s holding you back and create a personalized action plan. You will gain clarity, support, and practical steps to move you forward. Visit elizabethsherman.com/call to book your call now. You can transform your health and I would love to be there to help.