Total Health in Midlife Episode #203: Listener QA: Moving to Mexico

Have you ever considered escaping to the U. S. and moving to Mexico? Maybe you’ve been following my social media posts showing the beautiful beaches, slower pace of life, and affordable living. And lately, with everything that’s happening in the states, you’ve found yourself wondering, could I really do this?

Well today, I’m sharing what eight years of living in Mexico has actually taught me. What it looks like. And honestly, it’s not all sunset margaritas and beach walks. I’m talking about the real stuff. What happens when you can’t argue effectively in Spanish? Why I resist going to the doctor? And how our community has rallied around us when we lost power just a few weeks after moving?

You’ll learn why my workout clothes are still going strong after 8 years, when I used to buy new ones monthly in the US. What really happened behind the scenes of our House Hunters International episode? And why despite the challenges, I feel safer here than I do back in the U. S.?

If you’ve ever dreamed about living on a beach somewhere tropical, or you’ve just wondered what would it be like to step away from the American lifestyle, stick around. The truth about expat life might just surprise you.

Welcome to Total Health and Midlife, the podcast for women embracing the pivotal transformation from the daily grind to the dawn of a new chapter. I’m Elizabeth, your host and fellow traveler on this journey.

As a Life and Health Coach, I am intimately familiar with the changes and challenges we face during this stage. Shifting careers, changing relationships, our new bodies, and redefining goals and needs as we start to look to the future and ask, what do I want?

In this podcast, we’ll explore physical, mental, and emotional wellness, offering insights and strategies to achieve optimal health through these transformative years.

Yes, it’s totally possible.

Join me in this amazing journey of body, mind, and spirit, where we’re not just improving our health, but transforming our entire lives.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Total Health in Midlife podcast. I am your host, Elizabeth Sherman. And I just want to say I really appreciate you being here. For those of you who follow me on social media, you know that I love hearing from you. I love getting your messages, your comments, and questions. And they’ve really helped me create content that speaks directly to what’s on your mind and what you’re curious about.

Now, recently, I’ve been flooded with questions about my life in Mexico. The political climate in the U. S. has many of you feeling uncertain, maybe even unsafe. And wondering, what it would be like to live somewhere else? And I get it. These are heavy, complex feelings that deserve some honest answers.

Today’s episode is different from my usual health focused discussions. And instead, I’m going to answer your most common questions about what it’s like to really live in Mexico. And not the Instagram version, but the real unfiltered experience. After nearly 8 years here, I have plenty of information to share, both wonderful parts and the challenging ones, too.

Now, whether you’re seriously considering the move or you’re just curious. I hope this honest look at expat life helps you think differently about what’s possible in the for your future. While understanding the real life tradeoffs involved.

I’m going to do something a little bit different with this episode. Instead of my usual format, I’m structuring it around the questions that you’ve been sending me through Instagram, Facebook, and email. And there have been just a ton lately. So, you’ve asked about everything from the practicalities of daily life to the emotional challenges of starting over in a new country.

Some of you want to know about the cost of living and others about the language barrier. And many of you are curious about what it really means to leave the American lifestyle behind. These are conversations that I have all the time with my coaching clients too, about making big life changes, facing fears, and defining what really matters to you.

So, let’s dig into your questions and I promise to give you the real, unvarnished truth about what life is like here. First up is Jennifer’s question. She asks, “Elizabeth, what have been the biggest lifestyle changes since moving to Mexico, especially regarding possessions and daily habits?” Oh, so this really gets to the heart of how life changes when you leave the United States.

The most striking difference is our relationship with stuff. Back in Austin, we had a five bedroom house just bursting with things we thought we needed. Now, our life is dramatically simpler. And honestly, we don’t miss most of what we left behind. The shift in shopping habits has really been eye opening. And in the U. S., I was that person who went to Target or Dick’s Sporting Goods almost weekly. We’d always have boxes of Amazon showing up at our door. And I was always finding something that I quote unquote ‘needed,’ right?

Here, I’m still wearing the same workout clothes that I moved down here with eight years ago. Something that I never imagined doing in my previous life. And the amazing thing is, is that I’m totally fine with it. And it bums me out when I get a hole in them.

My friend Sarah recently was talking about when she goes home and she said that while she lives here in Mexico, she never feels like she’s lacking for anything. But the moment she goes back home, suddenly she finds herself needing things that she didn’t even know existed before her visit. And it’s just so wild how quickly that consumer mindset can creep back in.

Our weekends look completely different now. When we were in Austin, we spent so much free time shopping or going to restaurants. It was just our default activity. When I go back, I notice that the US is literally designed for consumption. Every store, every display, every advertisement is carefully crafted to make you want more.

Here, we just don’t have those same triggers constantly surrounding us. The result is, is that we have more time, more presence, more genuine connections with friends. Without that constant pull of shopping and consuming, we find ourselves having longer conversations, deeper friendships, and more meaningful experiences.

Our social life is richer because we’re not always rushing from one store or activity to another. We’re not as busy as we were. And that’s not to say that we can’t get things that we need, we absolutely can. But the definition of need has shifted a lot.

When something breaks, we’re more likely to try to fix it or find just something that we can have. When we want something, we really think about whether it’s necessary. And the constant pressure to upgrade, replace and accumulate just isn’t part of our daily reality anymore.

The simpler life has had an unexpected impact on our stress levels too. There’s something freeing about not constantly managing, organizing, and maintaining so much stuff. Our mental space isn’t cluttered with decisions about what to buy or where to store things. And instead, we focus on experiences, relationships, and the things that really matter.

So, here’s a fun question from Martha on Instagram. She said, “I saw you on House Hunters International,” oh, that’s so fun. “How close was that to your real experience to moving to Mexico?”

And so, let me be honest with you, and that is that reality TV is not reality. When we filmed House Hunters International, we had actually been living in Mexico for almost a year. And the truth is, is that Gary and I, usually agree on most things. Which honestly makes for terrible television.

So, the producers had us manufacture some conflicts to make it more interesting. But let’s face it, who wants to watch a couple nodding along and agreeing with each other for 30 minutes? It’s just not exciting. So, our life today looks very different from what was shown on TV.

And after renting for a few years, we built our own house during the pandemic. And that was just a huge adventure that would have made for some great television. I know that. But building a house in a foreign country during a global health crisis really taught us more about patience and flexibility than we ever expected to learn.

In the show, you saw me going to local markets frequently, choosing fresh produce, and living this idyllic expat life. And while that was true at the time, the reality has shifted. Now, we have a bigger kitchen with more storage space, and I’ve fallen back into more of an American shopping grocery store habit.

So, I do bigger grocery runs less often, and it’s funny how those old patterns creep back in when giving the chance. What the show couldn’t capture is the rhythm of daily life here. Both Gary and I work from home, which means that we don’t actually have any commute time. I exercise at home instead of driving to the gym. And so, we spend less time in cars, less time shopping, and more time actually living.

And so, the pace is different. It’s not necessarily slower, but it’s definitely more intentional. And one thing that hasn’t changed since filming is the community aspect. If anything, it’s grown stronger. But television can’t really show you how it feels to have neighbors who become like family, or the way expat communities really rally around each other when someone needs help.

So, Rebecca wrote to ask, “what has been your biggest challenge in adjusting to life in Mexico, especially with the language barrier.” So, I’m going to be honest here. That first year was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Everything was new, different, and frustrating. Even simple tasks like paying a bill became super complex adventures in patience.

In the United States, we’re used to efficiency. We go to one window, or we pay it online. We have one transaction and you’re done. Here, you might need to visit three different windows, get two different stamps, and circle back to where you started. It’s not wrong, it’s just different. It’s just a different way that they do things here.

The language barrier continues to be a daily challenge, even after eight years. And here’s the thing. I work with English speaking clients over Zoom most of the day, which means that I’m not getting the Spanish practice that I really need on a consistent basis. My Spanish skills just aren’t where I really want them to be.

And honestly, I don’t know if they will ever be quote unquote ‘good enough.’ And so, it can be incredibly frustrating and sometimes disempowering also when you can’t fully express yourself or defend your position in an argument.

Let me share something that I haven’t really talked about much, and that is healthcare. Even though we have fantastic insurance here, we pay annually probably what we used to pay per month in the U. S. I haven’t really been to a doctor for a checkup in quite some time. I know that sounds crazy, especially since I am a health coach, right?

But there’s this barrier, and that’s the fear of the unknown. The fear of miscommunication, of not understanding, or being understood when it comes to something as important as my health. And so, this experience has completely changed how I view immigrants in the United States.

I have so much more compassion now for people navigating a foreign system in a second language. And it’s really been humbling and sometimes exhausting, even with all of the privileges that I have as an American expat. The cultural differences go beyond just language. There’s a fundamentally different approach to time, to planning, to problem solving.

In the U. S., we often think that there’s a right way to do things. And usually, it’s the most, what we consider to be the efficient way. But living here has taught me that efficiency isn’t always the most important value. Sometimes, the slower way builds better relationships. And sometimes the less efficient path creates a stronger community of connections.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve adapted to most of these differences. But there are still days when something simple as miscommunication at the grocery store or with my staff can leave me feeling frustrated and drained. The key has been learning to laugh at these moments rather than let them like completely ruined my day.

Okay, so Lisa asks, “tell me about the social aspect of living in Mexico. Is it lonely being away from home or have you found your community there?” This might surprise you, but our social connections here have actually been so much stronger than they ever were in the United States.

When I think back to life in Austin, we were always too busy to really connect with friends. And the same thing was true with our friends. Like you would call someone up and say, “hey, can we get together?” And you’d have to plan it out like three or four months because of everyone’s schedules Here, we’ve built the kind of support system that usually only see in movies or on TV shows.

Here’s a really great example. Within our first month here, we lost power one Saturday night. And within an hour, I remember, we barely knew anyone at this point. A neighbor was at our door checking to see if the problem was inside our house or with the electric company. And we even found a place to stay for ourselves and with our dogs for overnight with air conditioning.

That kind of immediate support from virtual strangers is something that we never had in our experience in the United States. There are so many ways to plug into the community here, depending on what interests you. Gary plays in a dart league, and there are groups for everything from horseshoes to pickleball to golf. I’ve taken mosaic classes and painting classes, activities that naturally bring like-minded people together.

The beach becomes this natural meeting spot where friendships just form organically. I’ve met so many friends just on the beach. Whether you’re walking your dog or enjoying a sunset. But here’s what makes it different from the U. S., we actually have time for these connections. Without the constant hustle of commuting, shopping, and running errands, there’s actually space in our lives for relationships.

When someone needs help, we show up, regardless of whether we like them or not. When there’s a celebration, we’re there. It’s not just about squeezing in a quick coffee between meetings. It’s about genuine, unhurried connection. That said, there are different levels of involvement in the expat community.

Some people are incredibly tight knit, doing everything together. While others prefer to keep to themselves more. You do, you. What’s beautiful is that both approaches are totally acceptable, and you can find your own comfort level. We’ve made friends from all over the world, not just Americans and Canadians but people from Europe, South America, and right here in Mexico.

Each person brings their own perspective and life experience, which makes for rich, interesting conversations and friendships that probably wouldn’t have formed in our more homogeneous U. S. Social Circle. The support extends beyond social connections.

Need recommendations for a plumber? Or which doctors speak English? Looking for someone who can help with residency paperwork? The community here is an incredible resource, always ready to share information and experiences. It’s like having a living, breathing guidebook at your fingertips.

Alright, so Rachel asks about safety. She asks, “with everything that we hear in the media about Mexico, how do you handle those concerns? Okay, so this is one of the top questions I get. Let’s talk about that elephant in the room, cartel violence.

Here’s what I’ve learned in living here in Mexico. People who get into trouble with cartels are typically involved in something that quite honestly, they shouldn’t be involved with. Drugs, weapons, or human trafficking. It’s not random violence.

As an ordinary person living an ordinary life, you are not on their radar. Compare this to the U. S., where we’ve normalized active shooter drills in schools and mass shootings in movie theaters, shopping malls, and grocery stores. It feels surreal to say this, but I actually feel safer here in Mexico.

If I’m walking down the street and I see a man with a machete walking towards me, I have no fear. In the US, you can literally be anywhere watching a movie, shopping, or attending a concert, and become the victim of random gun violence. Here, violence is typically targeted and specific, not random acts against innocent bystanders.

Now, let’s talk a little bit about a different safety concern, the fear of being taken advantage of. Yes, there are people here who might try to charge you more just because you’re a foreigner. It comes with the territory of our economic privilege. And you just have to be on the lookout and pay attention to your intuition.

But here’s the thing. I don’t feel like it’s any more prevalent here than the scams that are going on in the U. S. Our expat community is incredibly protective over each other. We share recommendations, we warn each other about potential scams, and help newcomers navigate local services.

If something feels off, I have dozens of people I can ask for advice or verification. And this network of support actually makes me feel more secure, not less. Yes, we take normal precautions just like we would anywhere else. But the fear mongering that you hear about in Mexico in the media, that just has not been my reality at all.

Okay, so, “can you break down the real cost of living in Mexico? What’s actually cheaper and what ends up being more expensive than in the United States?” And so, this is from Maria. Let me start with health care since it’s a big one. Our insurance premium for an entire year costs what we paid for one month in the United States.

Now, here’s the thing. It covers us worldwide, except for the United States. Dental work is incredibly affordable. I pay about 50 dollars for an out of pocket cleaning. And veterinary care for our dogs costs a fraction of what we paid in Austin.

But here’s the flip side. Anything imported from the U. S. comes with a premium price tag. If you want your favorite American cereal, be prepared to pay a lot more. And electronics usually are more expensive. And while, yes, we have Amazon, not everything ships here. When items do ship, they come with import taxes, and every package gets opened and inspected by customs.

So, here’s something that surprises people. We can pretty much get everything that we need, but not everything that we want. Fresh fruits and vegetables are incredibly affordable. We could find everything for our house in Mexico. I can get a whole bag of avocados for about 5 dollars. But specific brands or specialty items, those are difficult to find, or we have to go to the United States in order to get them or have someone mule them down.

So, services are generally less expensive. House cleaning, yard work, maintenance, all of those things are way more affordable here. But banking and bill paying, that’s a completely different story. For example, interest rates are probably around 15%, or they could even be higher.

I haven’t received a piece of mail in eight years. Now, that’s both good and bad. Many transactions that would be automatic in the United States require in person visits here. And one thing that we like is that there’s no haggling for cars. The price that you see on the website is the price that you actually pay. You just pick what model and what color you want. Buying a car here was like the most stress less, free thing we’ve ever done.

The bottom line is, yes, many things are cheaper here, but it’s not all bargain paradise. The key is adapting your expectations and lifestyle to what’s readily available and cost effective here, rather than trying to replicate your exact US lifestyle in Mexico.

Alright. So, let me leave you with some final thoughts about making a major life change, like moving to another country. If you’re considering this because you feel unsafe or threatened in the United States, I completely understand those feelings. But one of the things that I talk about with my clients is the importance of liking your reasons for making big decisions.

Running away from something rarely feels as empowering as moving towards something that you want. When we made this move, it wasn’t because we were fleeing the country. It was because we were choosing a different kind of life. One that aligned more with our values and our goals.

The truth is, Mexico isn’t the perfect place. It’s not for everyone. It requires patience, flexibility, and a willingness to adapt to a completely different way of doing things. There will be frustrating days. I know. There will be times when Mexico tests you. There will be times when you miss the convenience and familiarity of life in the U. S. But there will also be moments of pure joy, deep connection, and a sense of living more fully.

If you’re seriously considering a move like this, I encourage you to check out episode 32 of the podcast, where I talk about how to make good decisions. The framework that I share there can help you sort through your motivations and ensure that you’re making choices that will serve you well.

And hey, keep those questions coming. You can reach out to me on Instagram or Facebook. I love hearing from you and sharing this ongoing conversation about what it means to create a life that you love, wherever it is that you might be.

That’s all I have for you today. Have an amazing week, everyone. I’ll talk to you next time. Bye-bye.

Thanks for staying with us till the end of this episode. If you’re looking to deepen your understanding of the ‘8 Basic Habits that Healthy People Do’ and want to connect with a community of like-minded women, I warmly invite you to join our free Facebook group, ‘8 Basic Habits that Women in Midlife Do’.

In this group, we expand on the habits discussed today, sharing experiences, offering support, and celebrating our health journeys together. It’s a space where you can feel understood and encouraged. To join, simply click the link in our show notes.

Let’s support and inspire each other in our quest for better health. See you in the group!