Total Health in Midlife Episode #194: Longevity Secrets w/ Denise Stegall

Denise: We talked about these habits that we may have picked up when we were young that kind of follow us through into midlife. And it’s that, oh, I’ll make up for it on the weekend. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. How many times have I heard people say that? I’m like, you know, let’s not have that thought because if you don’t sleep now, you’re going to be dead sooner than later. Not really what we’re going for.

But what we know now, what I know now, and this is maybe we didn’t talk enough about it, maybe there just wasn’t enough information out there. We should all be asleep between 10 p. m. and 2 a. m.

This is the time when our brain is rejuvenating itself. It’s when it is, you know, kind of filing all of the memories that we created that day and all of the things that it needs to do in order for us to get up the next day and think clearly and be able to really think optimally, not just clearly, but optimally.

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Welcome to Total Health and Midlife, the podcast for women embracing the pivotal transformation from the daily grind to the dawn of a new chapter. I’m Elizabeth, your host and fellow traveler on this journey.

As a Life and Health Coach, I am intimately familiar with the changes and challenges we face during this stage. Shifting careers, changing relationships, our new bodies, and redefining goals and needs as we start to look to the future and ask, what do I want?

In this podcast, we’ll explore physical, mental, and emotional wellness, offering insights and strategies to achieve optimal health through these transformative years.

Yes, it’s totally possible. Join me in this amazing journey of body, mind, and spirit, where we’re not just improving our health, but transforming our entire lives.

Hey, everyone! Welcome to the Total Health and Midlife Podcast. I am your host, Elizabeth Sherman, and I am so excited about today’s episode. Now, if you’re tired of the same old health advice that doesn’t seem to work, then you’re in for a treat.

Today, I am joined by Denise Stegall, a three time best-selling author and what she calls a “Longevity Concierge.” Denise helps women in their forties and fifties approach health in a way that’s practical and actually enjoyable.

So, in our conversation, we are going to be covering; First, a fresh perspective on what being healthy really means. Second, how to make choices that fit your life, not just follow rules. And third, building sustainable habits without feeling deprived.

In this episode, we don’t advocate for quick fixes or extreme diets. Denise’s approach, which is a lasting health is rooted in finding a way to be healthy that works for you long term. So, let’s get started with Denise Stegall on the Total Health in Midlife podcast.    

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Elizabeth: Welcome, Denise to the Total Health and Midlife Podcast. I am so excited to have you here because we have been friends for gosh, it’s been years now.

Denise: It has been years. It’s amazing how things kind of go full circle. You know, we met each other, we’ve worked together. Then, we didn’t see each other for a while. Now, we’re both in a women’s group together. It really is amazing. And I think it really does say something about who we are, the things that are important to us. And it’s just really nice when you can stay connected with people that you really like to talk with and really like.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Well, and I think one thing that’s like super cool about us is that we basically do the same thing. But I 100% support you and you, 100% support me. And there’s not any, like jealousy or like turf wars or anything like that. And so, let’s start there. Tell everyone what you do, who you help, and all the great things.

Denise: So, I am Denise Stegall. I call myself now the “Longevity Concierge” because so much of what I do is a little bit different for each client. At one point I used to do like, oh, this six week program is perfect for everyone. And realized very early on in my coaching career that that wasn’t the case.

My whole concept is eating real food, making good decisions, and being accountable to the most important person in the world, “Yourself.” And so, really based on that principle, you kind of think of it as a three legged stool. Each one of them is equally as important. You have to start somewhere, which is usually eat real food.

But all three of those, legs of that stool are important for us to live a healthy, happy, fulfilling life. That life that we’ve always dreamed of. That life that it’s out there, but we haven’t necessarily quite grasped it, whether it’s we got too busy, career, family, or fear.

My concept of “Eat Real Food, Make Good Decisions, and Be Accountable” is so personal to each person, and that’s the fun of it.

Elizabeth: [Mm hmm.] Okay, let’s take that second part there, like make good decisions. Why don’t we, and I know I’m throwing you a loop here. Why don’t we make good decisions? Like we look at our past decisions and we’re like, yeah, that wasn’t a good decision. I knew it wasn’t a good decision. So, how do you work with your clients in that?

Denise: I think so many things, and there’s always at this; the older I get, I find this more and more true. Life is about fear or love, right? We’re afraid of so many things. We’re afraid of success. We’re afraid of failure. We’re afraid of getting hurt. We’re afraid of making the wrong decision. Right?

And so, then we either don’t make a decision, or we make the easiest one, the one that’s right in front of us, or the emotional one. Emotions are great, but sometimes they really get in our way.

Elizabeth: [Mm hmm. Mm hmm.] Yeah, I love the saying that based on the information that we had at the time, we made the best decision possible. And you know, I used to talk about that with my clients and they would call BS on it. And I heard a little bit of a change to it, which like made everything different. Which was based on the information that we had. And our beliefs at the time, we made the best decision we have.

Because it’s true, like when I’m staring down, like, I know that I’m not supposed to be eating the donut, but I really want the donut. Like our belief in our head is; “well, but it’s just a donut. It’s not going to hurt me,” right? Like moderation. We hear about moderation. And so, therefore, we make the bad decision because we have this belief that it’s not really that bad of a decision.

Denise: Right. And we believe that we understand what moderation is. And moderation to that person who is looking at that donut saying, well, it’s only a donut. Their moderation could be a donut a day, a donut for breakfast, and the donut for lunch, but only two donuts. That’s it. If there’s my limit.

So, that’s one of the challenges that I think we’ve all had when it comes to moderation. You just eat everything in moderation. And size matters. I’m 5 foot 2. I’m not 5 foot 2. I’m 5 foot 1. I just made myself taller. I’m 5’1 My best friend in the world is 5’9.

Her moderation and my moderation need to be a little bit different because she’s bigger than I am, obviously, at 5’1 and 5’9. She exercises a little bit more than I do. And that’s amazing because I exercise quite regularly, but she’s really an exercise queen. So, moderation for us is very different.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Denise: And so, I think that’s really where we get ourselves in trouble.

Elizabeth: Yeah. That’s actually a really good point because I think that for smaller women, you really have to be on point with your treats, right? You can’t just say, well, because I remember when I got in trouble, I was married to my first husband, and I was all about feminism and equality.

And so, what he was eating, I was like, I need to eat that too. And that just is the wrong way to look at equality. Like we should not be eating the same amount of food considering he was a bigger man than I was.

Denise: Yep, absolutely. It’s funny. I have a bit of a story like that, similar. Before I got married, I’ve been married almost 21 years. I was a person who I had a bigger lunch. So, I have a breakfast. I ate lunch. Most of the time I was out because I worked in the city. So, it was just easier to have a bigger lunch. And I worked later hours, so dinnertime was kind of a bit of a flail. So, I would have a small dinner. Okay, sometimes it was a bowl of cereal. I was younger. It was okay.

But then when I got married and Mark’s schedule is busy during the day. And so, dinner is his main meal. And so, when I first moved here and got married, I was still in the habit of having a big lunch. And then, I was making a full dinner and eating a full dinner. So, that’s how where I got myself in trouble the first time, I was scratching my head, I was like, ‘ what am I doing wrong?’ Cause I wasn’t very mindful about it.

And one day as I was cooking, I realized I’m like, Oh my God, I had this whole chicken breast for lunch. And now, I’m going to have another one for dinner. Not that protein is bad for us cause it’s good for us. But again, it was the amount of calories that this five foot one body could really take.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Yeah. You know, and it’s so funny because I think that and I don’t know how, well, you were younger at that point. You said you’ve been married for 21 years. And so, you weren’t at midlife at that point. But I think that what I notice for myself, and we were talking a little bit about it before we started recording that it seems to me like the bad habits that we started when we were younger, we could get away with.

And midlife kind of shines a spotlight right on, Hey, you need to do better with that you’re eating, with your sleep, with your exercise, with your stress management. Like all of these things, all of a sudden like become spotlight.

Denise: And it’s not that they weren’t important before. But now that your body changes so much to the point where if you don’t have those pieces in place. Everything starts to fall apart. You know, if you’re not sleeping, you’re tired, you’re not feeling well, you’re making, not making good choices.

And again, when you’re not sleeping, what else happens? Your cortisol level goes crazy. You start gaining weight and you’re like, but I’m not eating anything different. Right. But you’re not sleeping. And you know, maybe you’re exercising, maybe not. But then if you are exercising and you’re not sleeping. That adds an additional stress, additional cortisol.

And all of a sudden, you’re kind of scratching your head going; what the heck? What do I do now? I don’t understand. And that’s really where I think most of my clients come to me and say, I just don’t know what to do anymore. You know, I’ve tried everything, everything.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Denise: And I would say 9 out of 10 times, the one thing that they go, really, I’m not sleeping enough.

Elizabeth: Well, and I’m really glad that you brought that up because I think that we have been taught that if we just eat right and exercise that we are healthy. And yes, we know that sleep plays into that. Yes, we know that stress management plays into that. But there aren’t really any tangible things that we can glom onto, other than get enough night’s sleep. Then there’s sleep hygiene.

And so, I’m really glad that you brought that up because I don’t feel like enough women really give sleep the credit that it deserves. So, talk a little bit about that.

Denise: Well, one of the things I think we not learned, we got into a bad habit. We talked about these habits that we may have picked up when we were young that kind of follow us through, into midlife. And it’s that, oh, I’ll make up for it on the weekend. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. How many times have I heard people say that? I’m like, you know, let’s not have that thought because if you don’t sleep now, you’re going to be dead sooner than later. Not really what we’re going for.

But the sleep piece, think about when you were in college. We would stay up till two, three o’clock in the morning, doing nothing most of the time, just hanging out being kids. I remember then getting out of college and when I was working, there were nights when I was working till 10 o’clock at night. I still don’t know why I did that, but I did.

So, if I was working till 10 o’clock at night, then getting on a train and getting home by 11 o’clock, I was wired, not ready for bed yet. But what we know now, what I know now, and this is maybe we didn’t talk enough about it, maybe there just wasn’t enough information out there. We should all be asleep between 10 p. m. and 2 a. m.

This is the time when our brain is rejuvenating itself. It’s when it is, you know, kind of filing all of the memories that we created that day and all of the things that it needs to do in order for us to get up the next day and think clearly and be able to really think optimally, not just clearly, but optimally.

And most of us now stay up till God out, who knows what hour binge watching TV. Even on a weekend, we do it during on a Tuesday night, we do it on a Saturday night. Because we still have this idea that we can make up for our sleep. And it really has been proven time and again that that’s really not the case. You really do need to be getting those seven to nine hours regularly.

Now, obviously, there are nights when that’s not going to happen. But if you can stay consistent, and you mentioned sleep hygiene. Going to bed the same time every night, getting up at the same time in the morning. That is absolutely important for our mindset, for our brain again to function properly. And when our brain’s functioning properly, guess what? Our body starts to function properly as well.

Elizabeth: Well, yeah, that is so brilliant and smart, and I love it that you said that. And it just makes me think about there was a really good 60-minute three part series. Did you ever see that with Lesley Stahl? Anyway, it’s years old and sometimes you can find it on the internet and sometimes you can’t.

But they did one piece, one of the survey or scientific results was that they disrupted people’s sleep throughout the night. And what they found was that even though they were not pre diabetic before, their diet was exactly the same. Just by having disrupted sleep for as little as, I think it was two weeks. They started exhibiting signs of diabetes.

And I think that that’s something that we don’t realize. In fact, I know that when I was, I don’t want to say a young personal trainer, but when I was getting up at like 4:15 in the morning so that I could work out so that then I could train my clients. I started having elevated levels of my A1C. It was pre diabetic level. And I was like, no, but you don’t understand. I eat really well. And they were like, ugh, it’s the numbers. That was when it kind of all made sense to me, that my sleep was important.

Denise: Yeah. They make a point, numbers don’t lie. Those kinds of numbers don’t lie. I recently had my cholesterol tested. And one of my levels was higher than it should be. I mean, it wasn’t super high. And I was actually angry. I was like, you know, that can’t be right. The numbers don’t lie. And it’s something that you don’t get your blood checked when you’re 20. Normal people don’t on a regular basis.

The first time I think I had it checked, I was in my early 40s. And it was something like 11 or 12 plates lower than it was this time at 53. And so, a lot has happened, and so maybe it was 10 years. A lot has happened in those 10 years. So, what does that mean? What does that mean? Ah, I had to reevaluate. And that’s the thing that I think we need to do at this stage in life is we need to know where we are.

So, I think mentioning testing, I think it’s important to know your numbers. Know where you are so you can make those good choices when it comes to your nutrition and your exercise and sleep, and how sleep affects. Like you said, your A1C, your cholesterol, your cortisol. I had a Dutch test done a couple years ago. And my cortisol was high, like when melatonin should have been coming in, my cortisol was still high.

And I kept thinking, no stress in my life. No real stress. You know, I have a happy marriage, we got a lot of good, great stuff going on. What is going on? Tell you what was going on. I was not sleeping well because my hormones were a little imbalanced at that time.

So, again, we go back to sleep. And even though we don’t talk about it enough, it’s what are you eating and how are you exercising. If we’re not sleeping, we are actually, disrupting all of the good things we’re doing, we’re negating them.

Elizabeth: Yeah. I think it’s funny that here we are in midlife, and we talked about this a little bit before we came on. That we start noticing that our conversations at dinnertime. Like dinner, we’re out with friends and we’re starting to have these different conversations where we’re talking about our numbers. Where we’re talking about our diagnoses and friends who like, yeah, our health, right?

And it’s kind of like the universe is tapping us on the shoulder saying, hey, you need to pay attention because if you don’t, you’re going to end up like this other person. And so, let’s talk a little bit about this new initiative that you’re doing. Because I think that what you’re doing is a worry that so many people have. And I think that it’s going to tie into the sleep piece that we were just talking about as well. So, let’s talk about that.

Denise: It does. So, as to put some curriculum together for a nonprofit here in Minnesota called “Curing Alzheimer’s Disease.” And the person, who the founder, she’s going about these things a little bit differently than the big associations. The big associations have a big staff, they have donors, they have people that are supporting them.

But our grassroots type of programs like this one, they’re looking at helping people starting now, starting in your 50s, even in your 40s to look at Alzheimer’s in a very different way. Generally, what we think of Alzheimer’s is it’s something, my mother in law used to call it ‘old timers disease.’ Because it happened to old people.

Well, what we’re starting to see unfortunately is dementia and Alzheimer’s is actually getting diagnosed for earlier. Not necessarily, young people but earlier into older age. And that’s frightening. That’s frightening for so many reasons. And what is the reason? Well, we’re trying to figure that out. Curingalzheimersdisease.com is actually working with the University of Minnesota and doing some research on that.

Some of the pieces that we understand: One, there is a periodontal aspect to Alzheimer’s disease. Nobody knew that, right?

Elizabeth: No.

Denise: Dentists see it very often. People with periodontal disease have a higher risk of Alzheimer’s disease. That’s kind of scary. My family were British. We have bad teeth. That’s kind of scary. So, that’s something that we never talk about. The next piece of course, which is my piece is the nutrition piece. And there are books out there that say; here, this is the Alzheimer’s diet. You know, follow this diet to a T and you’re never going to get Alzheimer’s.

Well, that’s not the case because there are genetic aspects of Alzheimer’s. We know that. I know a family who the grandmother had it, the sister had it. And then, years later, the younger sister had it. And now, sadly, the daughter of that person is starting to experience some cognitive function loss. More than somebody, the same age, and she’s in her later 50s.

Obviously, there’s a genetic piece to that. There’s also a nutrition piece that is connected to obesity and diabetes. And we know in at least in the U. S., and some of the more Western world, diabetes is really a problem. It is obesity and diabetes. And they can go hand in hand, but not always.

The challenge that people are having then is with diabetes, obesity is they’ve lost the concept of; well, how do I eat to, one, the lose weight because they’ve always been told you need to eat to lose weight. You need to go on a diet to lose weight. And in my business, I never talk about being on a diet. I talk about eating a healthy diet.

But what is that? What does that consist of? And it really does go back to the basics of eating real food. Your fruits and veggies, I know with you, I’m preaching to the choir. But those whole foods as close to the way they were intended as possible. Getting rid of all of the preservatives and the added sugar. Some of these fake sugars are actually, neuro excitotoxins.

So, we’re talking about the brain, right? And we’re eating some of these foods with these excitotoxins that get the brain extra stimulated. And on one hand, they’re like, Oh, that sounds good, your brain is working. No, it’s working the brain in a negative way. So, it’s actually, crossing the blood brain barrier and affecting the brain in ways that they had never seen before. One, because they hadn’t done a lot of research. But also we didn’t have those artificial sweeteners.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Denise: So, when it comes to Alzheimer’s, if we start today focusing on eating real food, getting rid of the processed stuff. And not necessarily being on a diet, but just really be paying attention to what we’re eating. Where’s it coming from? As much as we can eat local, we talk about that so often. Eat local, eat local. This time of year here in Minnesota, it’s great to eat local. It’s easy. In the winter, it’s a little more difficult. We know that.

But what if we start planning today? I have my tomatoes upstairs. I’m already planning. Okay, how am I going to preserve those tomatoes so I can have them in the wintertime? This is kind of that concept, this goes to that concept where people would say, eat like your grandmother used to.

Elizabeth: Uh huh.

Denise: This is kind of what they’re talking about. People had gardens back in the day. And they would eat everything that they could during the summer. And what they couldn’t eat, they would and can preserve for the winter.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Denise: We’ve gotten away from that.

Elizabeth: Yeah. It’s intensive in terms of time. Sure. And effort.

Denise: It is. But then here’s another a way around it. Frozen foods.

Elizabeth: Right. I was just going to say frozen foods are fantastic.

Denise: Frozen foods are fantastic. Frozen veggies, when they’re frozen or when they’re picked, and they’re flash frozen right at the time that they’re picked. They have more vitamins and minerals. They retain the vitamins and minerals better than the ones that, the strawberries that they’re sending to Minnesota from California. Part of it is because we know this, they have to pick food so early when they’re not ripe. When you pick a fruit that’s not ripe and expect it to ripe on the counter, the flavor content component isn’t the same.

Elizabeth: Yeah. I remember, I grew up in Chicago and tomatoes in the wintertime were just terrible.

Denise: Yeah.

Elizabeth: One of the things that I wanted to go back to was the claim about obesity and diabetes and eating healthy food. Is there a correlative or causative relationship between obesity and Alzheimer’s? Or is it just because obesity is caused by having, well, it’s caused by a number of things, right? Genetics being one of them. But also our diet and habits being a second.

And so, do we know, is it the habits that are causing the diabetes and then Alzheimer’s, or is it the actual body fat?

Denise: From what I understand, it’s the lifestyle. Except in those situations where it’s genetic. And we know with genetics, we can turn on our genes or not, that’s kind of the concept of epigenetics. And that again is based on our lifestyle choices. Just because your mom and your grandmother have always been overweight or obese. And now, they’re type two diabetic, that diabetic does not mean that you need to be.

It is harder because as you’re growing up, you’re learning, habits, eating habits, exercise habits from those people. So, that is definitely a challenge. And so, yes, lifestyle does really cause diabetes. Again, except in those other situations genetics. And truly, as people get older, there is something where they could be very healthy. Eat healthy, not be overweight, and still type 2 diabetic. That’s just kind of a bit of an anomaly that happens as people get older.

We know as we get into our 70s and 80s, things just start to kind of fall apart. Our immune system just isn’t what it was when we were in our 20s and 30s. Again, this is where we go back to lifestyle if we can make our lifestyle choices, make those better choices today. We can really avoid those obesity and Alzheimer’s down the road. And again, just because somebody is diabetic does not mean, yes, they are absolutely going to get Alzheimer’s. There’s a correlation there. It’s not a cause.

Elizabeth: Yeah. So, one of the biggest ‘AHA’ moments that I had in my journey was I used to feel victim to my genetics. I was like, because I have these parents, therefore, I cannot be what I want to be. And there’s a book by Mark Manson called, “The Art of Not Giving a F*.”

And one of his chapters is about fault versus responsibility. And we can actually take that same concept and apply it to our health. Yes, it’s not your fault that you have the genetics that you have. However, it is your responsibility to your body and to your life because you’re not getting another body in this lifetime, right?

It is your responsibility to yourself to take the best possible care that you can for your body so that you minimize your risk of getting cancer, or diabetes, or Alzheimer’s, or whatever your family history is.

Denise: It’s so true. People get stuck in their circumstances. And really, that’s one of the biggest challenges that people who are diabetic, who are obese and have diabetes, that’s really the hardest thing for them to overcome is understanding that they actually, can make a difference that this small steps, make huge leaps down the road. But we have to start somewhere. We have to start somewhere today. It can’t be tomorrow. It can’t be next week.

And I think that’s really one of the challenges that so many of us have is, well, this is where I am. This is the body that I have. This is the genetics that I have. This is where I live. All of those things, but you’re right. As soon as we realize that I have a choice in what I eat. I have a choice in how much I move. I have a choice in saying no to another donut. And I’m going to put this out there. My two favorite foods in the world, I’m from New York, are pizza and donuts.

And when I eat them, I enjoy them. I don’t eat them every day. I probably don’t even eat them every month. But when I do, I can eat them and enjoy them without any guilt because I’ve made so many good choices before that. And so, I think that’s really where we struggle is we either we’re kind of an all or nothing society. And let’s be real. We know this. It’s hard to lose weight. You know, it’s a slow process. It was a slow process for us to gain weight when we’ve gained weight. Thank you, menopause, that’s always a fun thing too, right?

But it took some time. So, to gain the weight. So, it’s going to take a little bit of time to lose the weight as well. And I really believe in celebrating those small wins. That eating real food for a whole meal. That’s great! Applaud yourself for that.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Denise: Say no to the donut and having a bowl of fruit. Celebrate that. That I think is so much more exciting and interesting than a woe is me. Oh darn, I ate that. I ate that piece of chocolate cake. I’m screwed. I might as well now have the pizza and more doughnuts. And it really becomes a bit of a mindset, a mind game. I really do love talking about mindset because we can talk about losing weight and how do we eat and all of these things. But without the mindset piece, it kind of all falls apart.

Elizabeth: Yeah. Cause we can’t shame ourselves into doing better. And we can’t shame ourselves into losing weight, or eating better, or any of that stuff. Right?

Denise: Right.

Elizabeth: So, I think that one reason why this Alzheimer’s topic is so important is because it’s something that none of us expect to happen to us. Sure, there are people who have a family disposition to it, and it’s kind of on their radar. But what you’re saying is that it might not be a guarantee that they get it. And for other people, we want to know that I am taking care of my health. And these are kind of wildcard diseases or conditions. And how do I not get it? Right?

Denise: Right. Obviously, as we get older, our cognitive function will decline. We can do a lot of things to counter that. Again, eating healthy foods, playing mind games, doing crossword puzzles, reading. Not like watching the television as much. These are things that are in our control. Because the more we’re actually working our mind in a positive way, that is helpful for our cognitive function.

Now, when we talk Alzheimer’s and dementia, so Alzheimer’s is a type of dementia. And there are different levels. Alzheimer’s is the one that I think we talk about the most because it’s the one that’s the most devastating, where people forget who they are, they forget how to eat. It’s so disruptive to who that person is. It completely changes who they are. The way you look at somebody who you knew who has Alzheimer’s. They’re not that person. They’re still alive and they may still be healthy enough because they’re still alive and surviving. And that’s really what they’re doing, they’re surviving.

But they can’t think clearly. Some of them can’t think at all. They’ve just lost so much of what it is to be human and to be the person who they are. And that’s scary. So, yes, we need to start thinking today. What can I do to either avoid, push this off? Again, not everybody is going to get Alzheimer’s, but many of us, as we get older, our cognitive function is going to decline. It just does. But if we work on it now, it will be less traumatic.

Elizabeth: Awesome. So, you have a book and doing the work through the book will help with not getting Alzheimer’s. Tell us about that relationship.

Denise: It’s interesting because when I wrote the book a few years ago, Alzheimer’s was not in my wheelhouse. It wasn’t something that I was focusing. So, in the book, there are my three pillars. Again, eat real food, make good decisions, and be accountable. And by following, each chapter brings some worksheets and really just some activities to make us whether than just read the book to actually keep the book a top of mind. It’s kind of one of those books. It’s this one here, the yellow one that’s behind me. It’s called “Healthy Living, Happy Life. A Practical Path to Finding a Healthy Lifestyle that Works for You.” And I think that’s an important part. It’s that healthy lifestyle that works for you.

And this is really where I say, it’s not about being on a diet. It’s about eating the right food. If you choose to find a diet, Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian, whatever. That resonates with you, that’s okay. And do it without punishment. The keto police are not going to come to you if you have a piece of bread, right? Whatever.

So, in the book, each chapter gives us another task that we can do or something that we can do to keep our mind going, our social connections, all of these pieces fit together to create what I think everybody thinks of as a healthy lifestyle, whatever that is to them.

There are chapters in the book that people might go, Yeah, I don’t need that. And that’s fine. There are chapters in the book that everyone’s going, Oh, yeah, I need to know that. And one of the important things is social connection. Social connection, since the internet and COVID, this is one of the biggest challenges.

Yes, older people are having, but younger people are having this too, is actually being able to connect with people. Not just on Zoom, or texting, and on TikTok, or Snapchat, whatever they’re doing. Actually, being in a room with someone and being able to talk to them, meeting new people. These are challenges for people nowadays.

And I know for my mom, my mom is 83. This has actually been something that’s been a challenge for her because during COVID, she didn’t really see anyone because she was in her 80s. So, had to really stay away from people. But then people are still so afraid because it’s not really gone away completely. People are still afraid to get together. And we’re social beings. The lack of connection and community that people are feeling is actually affecting their mindset. It’s affecting their brain. It’s affecting their cognitive function.

So, when I wrote the book, I didn’t put two and two together there, but it’s in the book. So, I don’t know, maybe I was brilliant.

Elizabeth: You’re like, Oh, I was really smart about that.

Denise: I’m really smart or something.

Elizabeth: Well, no, but you’re absolutely right. And I think that being at home for that amount of time, allowed people to stay within their comfort zone. And there’s a huge, I don’t know if epidemic is the right word, of people who have social anxiety now because they were not quote unquote forced to go out for a period of a year. And so, now, it’s like, well, I don’t want to go out because then there’s people, which I totally understand. But I have to make myself go out and be social because I know that being home, self-isolating isn’t good for me and my health. Yeah.

Denise: It’s easy. It’s easy to just stay home. I mean, we we’re connected, we’re connected to everybody, with the internet and your phone. But it’s not a true connection. You know, think about when you see somebody, and you haven’t seen them for a while and you give ’em a big hug. The endorphins that just like go crazy, like you feel good. You don’t get that feeling when you’re home by yourself.

Elizabeth: Yeah. When you’re on Zoom.

Denise: Yeah. You can’t really reach out and touch each other. During the pandemic, I think zoom was good because we could at least see each other. That I think was helpful. And when I talked to my mom during all of the pandemic, it was hopeful. But it was an hour, you know, here and there. It wasn’t on a regular basis.

When she’s down in Florida in the wintertime, she sees people all the time. If she’s out sitting out front. If she’s walking to the car. If she’s going over to the clubhouse, there’s always people around. And they’re always waving and saying hello and chit chatting. That’s normal. That’s what our brains need, what connects us to be human beings, to being human beings, as human beings.

Elizabeth: Yeah. It’s so true. And I don’t think that you know, we’re talking about health, something I’ve been saying a lot on social media lately is your health is so much more than diet and exercise. And I think that that really encapsulates our conversation today is like, we’re talking about sleep. We’re talking about social connection. We’re talking about mindset. We’re talking about all of these things, stress that really impact your health. And following diets and following exercise programs just aren’t going to get you there.

Denise: They’re stressful. Following a diet is stressful. You know, following a really strict, exercise regimen, especially if it’s new to you. That’s really hard. And I’ll admit, as a coach, I’ve tried most of the diets and I’ve tried many of the new workouts. And maybe at 53, that’s not the best thing. But I think it’s important for me to be able to say with confidence, I’ve tried this. I understand it. Because when a client comes to me, Oh, I’m going to go do this new bootcamp thing.

Can you walk around the block? Let’s start there. I think again, with social media, a lot of times people say, Oh yeah, I lost 50 pounds in six weeks, and I just did this. And people want to believe it. And so, they go spend whatever, however much money it is to join that particular bootcamp. And after three days they’ve had enough.

Elizabeth: Yeah.

Denise: They’ve wasted the money. They’ve wasted their time. And now, they feel like they’re a failure. Love and fear. Right. And they don’t want to do anything again because they’re afraid they’re going to fail again. Because they failed this time. Well, they’ve failed before.

So, I think it’s so important for us to realize that a healthy lifestyle is a little bit different for each of us. I think we’re lifelong learners. Just because you get out of school doesn’t mean you stop learning. You know, we’re lifelong learners. Learn what you like and what you don’t like when it comes to food.

I had something the other day. What did I eat? I ate something the other day and afterwards I thought to myself, I’m like, you know, I don’t know if I need to have that again. I didn’t love it. I mean, I didn’t hate it, but I was like, you know, I don’t need to have that again. No big deal.

One of the things we laugh about here in my house is Mark absolutely hates kale. But it’s a superfood, right? Everybody should be eating the superfoods, if they hate them or not. No. This is the education piece. This is that learning piece. And I think it’s fun.

With little kids, we’re always trying to teach them about different fruits and vegetables. Oh, well, just try this. And we make our kids do that. Well, I didn’t, I don’t have kids. But my niece and my nephew, we were always trying to get them to try something new.

Why do we stop doing that as adults?

Elizabeth: Because we don’t have to.

Denise: That’s true. That’s true. That is true.

Elizabeth: I call it parenting yourself, learning how to be a parent to yourself. Like when we leave our parents’ house, we’re like, no one’s going to tell me what to do anymore. And we become this like, Petulant Child all over again.

Denise: Yep. Then, that’s how when you’re in first year of college, you get the freshman 15 because.

Elizabeth: Right.

Denise: Right. Except back then, losing that freshman 15 was a lot easier than it is in our fifties. And so, I think it’s really, again, it’s about mindfulness. It’s about lifelong learning, and really just finding what works for you.

Elizabeth: Yeah, I love that. All right. So, Denise, tell us what you have going on, how people can find out more about you if they want to follow you, or if they want to buy your book, or yeah, where they can find you online.

Denise: Okay. So, online you can find me, my business is called ‘Living Healthy Lists.’ So, livinghealthylist.com is the main website. On the website, the first three chapters of Healthy Living, Happy Life. You can get that first three chapters for free. And I think it’s important this way, you kind of say, Oh, yeah, you know, I really do want to read.

Again, that’s on the website. You can get the book on Amazon and Barnes Noble. It is available out there. And I’m all over social media mostly as Living Healthy List. Occasionally, you’ll see me as Denise Stegall, because I am a person, an individual too. I’m not just my business.

And I’m excited. I am actually running in October. I’m running the beginning of October and the end of October, a program that I’m really excited about. It’s called ‘Eliminating Self Sabotage Forever.’ And this is a program that will help when it comes to your food choices, your exercise choices, all of the things that we have been talking about.

It will help you realize what is holding you back, be able to stop it when you hear those stop that horrible self-sabotage, limiting belief voice in your head. And be able to change the narrative and find a more positive way of approaching whatever it is that is holding you back, that self-sabotage.

Elizabeth: Love it. Well, thank you for being here. This was an amazing episode and I really enjoyed connecting with you today.

Denise: Oh, thanks Elizabeth. It’s always great to chat with you. We always have so much to talk about.

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Thank you for tuning in to the Total Health in Midlife podcast. I hope you got as much out of this chat with Denise as I did. It was so fun. So, let’s recap what we learned. First, eating real food is key. Second, small, consistent choices add up. Third, it’s okay to enjoy treats sometimes. Fourth, mindset matters. Just as much as what you eat. And finally, sleep and social connections are crucial for your health.

Now, if you know someone struggling with their health, please share this episode. It might just be what they need to hear. And if you are ready to take control of your health, I’m here to help. Coaching can make a big difference. And it’s not just about quick fixes or strict diets. It’s about finding what works for you long term.

Want to learn more? Reach out to me. Let’s talk about how we can work together to get your health on track. Thank you for listening. Take care. And I’ll catch you next time on the Total Health in Midlife Podcast. Bye-bye.

Thank you for tuning in today. Now, if you enjoy the podcast and are ready to take the next step in addressing your health concerns, I would love to invite you to schedule an I Know What To Do, I’m Just Not Doing It strategy call.

In this 60 minute session, we will explore what’s holding you back and create a personalized action plan. You will gain clarity, support, and practical steps to move you forward. Visit elizabethsherman.com/call to book your call now. You can transform your health and I would love to be there to help.