Total Health in Midlife Episode #220: What to Expect in Maintenance

Have you ever made progress with your health? Like real, tangible progress, and then slowly, almost without noticing, started letting little things slide. You told yourself, it was balance moderation, that you didn’t need to be so strict anymore. But then one day you wake up and wonder, why don’t I feel as good as I did before?

What if I told you that nothing has gone wrong and that this exact moment is one of the most important parts of your health journey? In today’s episode, I’m talking about the sneaky phase that comes right after success. When we start testing the limits, thinking that we’re good. Thinking that we’ve got it locked in, that we have the keys to success. It’s what I call the ‘cocky syndrome.’

And if you’ve ever found yourself easing up on the habits that were once working, and then beating yourself up when things start slipping, this episode is going to help you make sense of all of it. Because once you understand what’s happening, you can stop the slide before you lose momentum, and then finally, learn how to feel good for the long haul. Let’s get into it.

Welcome to Total Health and Midlife, the podcast for women embracing the pivotal transformation from the daily grind to the dawn of a new chapter. I’m Elizabeth, your host and fellow traveler on this journey.

As a Life and Health Coach, I am intimately familiar with the changes and challenges we face during this stage. Shifting careers, changing relationships, our new bodies, and redefining goals and needs as we start to look to the future and ask, what do I want?

In this podcast, we’ll explore physical, mental, and emotional wellness, offering insights and strategies to achieve optimal health through these transformative years.

Yes, it’s totally possible.

Join me in this amazing journey of body, mind, and spirit, where we’re not just improving our health, but transforming our entire lives.

Hey everyone, welcome to the Total Health and Midlife Podcast. I am your host, Elizabeth Sherman, and I am so glad that you’re here today. So, today, I wanna start out with a quick story because I think that it might resonate and hit home with you.

I’ve got this thing called Piriformis, and if you’ve never heard of it, it’s basically a super tight muscle in your hip that can press on your sciatic nerve similar to sciatica. And it causes this annoying, sometimes really painful ache down your leg. And for me, it’s up my back. It’s not life threatening, but it seriously messes with my day because it’s painful.

Now, I know what helps it, and what causes it. Stretching helps. Specifically, I have a little morning routine that I do like every day where I set up and I combine stretching with a guided meditation that I listen to. And it’s not hard. It doesn’t take long. It’s about 13 minutes. And when I do it, I feel good, and it keeps my piriformis at bay. My hip behaves. I can go for walks, I can run comfortably, all of it.

But here’s the thing. I, like you, started getting lazy. I started cutting corners time. A few weeks ago, I had the thought. I don’t feel like doing it because I really didn’t. And I don’t really have to do it daily. If I miss a day, it’s not that big of a deal. Which is believable because it’s true, right?

So, I started slacking. I started doing it for less time. I started skipping days. I started switching to the stretches that I like to do that don’t hurt as much. And then, I was like, ‘oh, okay, well, I stretch. So, that’s all good.’ Right? And wouldn’t you know it, my hip flared up again.

Now, I call this the cocky syndrome. It’s a term that my college roommate and I, ‘hi Danielle,’ came up with in college. And the idea is that it’s when we get overconfident in our results. So, we’re like, ‘oh, I have this locked up. It’s not going to be a problem, and dah, dah, dah, dah,’ whatever. I’m good.

And then, what I feel like is the universe just smacks you on the head and is like, ‘ah ah ah, not so fast.’ And so, there’s a cost to this cocky syndrome.

So, let’s talk about this phase of the journey that doesn’t really get enough attention. And that phase is in maintenance. Maybe you’ve been working on your health, maybe you’ve been eating better, moving more, sleeping better. Your energy’s up, you’re not snapping at everyone in your house, and you feel pretty good.

You feel grounded, like, ‘okay, I have this thing figured out.’ And you have. You’ve done something that is just totally incredible. Something that probably felt impossible not too long ago. You’ve changed how you show up for yourself. You followed through. You’re seeing and feeling the results. And that sense of momentum is totally intoxicating.

But here’s where the trap is. Because once we start feeling good, our brain starts looking for shortcuts. It’s like, ‘oh, you’re fine now. You don’t need to keep doing all of this all the time.’ And it frames it as balance, as moderation, as being normal. And that’s where the cocky syndrome sneaks in.

The thoughts that you’ll have sound like, ‘I can skip my daily walk today. I’m pretty active already.’ A few more sweets here and there won’t make a difference. It’s just one, right? I’ll drink more water tomorrow or I have leftovers. I’ll just wing dinner tonight.

So, each choice feels completely harmless. It’s small. It’s reasonable. And honestly, they are until they start adding up. What’s really happening here is that we’re testing the limits. We’re seeing how far we can go before we notice a crack.

Just like a toddler who wants to know how many times they can touch something before you take it away. Or a teenager who’s trying to negotiate boundaries. You said, be home by midnight, but they’re like, uh, what if I come home at 12:15? Right? Like, where is that line between being okay and not being, okay?

Your brain is doing the exact same thing. It’s not malicious, it’s not self-sabotage, it’s just testing the limits. But here’s what I want you to know. This part of the process is totally normal. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy, or undisciplined, or destined to backslide. It means that you are human, just like me and my stretching.

And if you found yourself here, coasting a little, easing up, maybe even wondering, if you’re slipping. I want you to hear this loud and clear. You’re not broken, and you’re not alone. You are in one of the most important phases of building long-term health. And that’s the part where things are working. And the goal now is to keep them working.

That’s a very different skillset than just getting started or going to your goal, getting the results. Why do we do this? Why after working so hard to build these habits and finally feel good, do we start pulling back?

Well, it comes down to how our brains are wired. Our brains are constantly scanning for ways to make life easier. They want comfort. They want ease, efficiency, shortcuts. They love routines. Because once something becomes familiar, the brain can run it in the background and use less energy.

So, when you’ve been consistent with your habits for a while and you’re feeling better, your brain sees that green light to conserve energy. It’s like, ‘great, mission accomplished. We’re done. Let’s ease up now.’ And because you do feel better, it’s easy to believe it. You stop paying as much attention not because you don’t care, but because it feels like you don’t need to anymore.

That’s the trick. Progress makes us feel like we’re done. Like we’ve arrived. But health doesn’t work like that. And this is where I love using the parenting metaphor. So, think about your habits like children, when they’re new, like babies. They need constant supervision. You can’t take your eyes off of them.

And then, as they grow up, they become toddlers. They get a little bit more independence, but you still need to keep a watchful eye on them, and you can’t go to the grocery store without them. Right? Then, as they grow, they become more independent, like teenagers. You can loosen your grip a bit, trust them more. But they still need structure, boundaries, and reminders.

Eventually, yes, they can stand on their own and grow into mature adults. But even adult kids need occasional check-ins, and so do habits. Just because something is working doesn’t mean it’s self-sustaining. With health, it’s not one and done. Now, that I’m done and at goal, I can forget about it.

It means that the care that you’ve been giving, it is working. And if you want to keep that going, the work shifts from building the habit to maintaining the habit. And that also takes attention. The goal isn’t to never relax. The goal is to know when you can relax, and when you need to step back and steer.

If you’re in that space right now where you’ve made progress, but things feel a little shakier than they used to. I want you to know, this isn’t a sign that what you were doing didn’t work. And it’s definitely not a sign that you’re weak, you’re undisciplined, or you’re doomed to slide backwards and go back to where you started.

It’s actually a sign that your habits are growing. They’re maturing, and like anything that’s growing, they still need care. They still need support.

We often treat health like a task, something that we just check off and forget about it, and we’re done. Eat better, check. Move more, check. Sleep, check. Got it. Done. But health isn’t like assembling furniture or filing your taxes. It’s not one and done. It’s more like a relationship with your body, with your routines, with yourself. And like any relationship, it requires attention, presence, and maintenance.

So, let me give you an example. Have you ever taken a medication that helped you to feel better, and then once the symptoms went away, you stopped taking it? Not because you were cured, but because you felt better and thought, ‘well, maybe I don’t need this anymore.’

And then, sure enough, the symptoms come back. So, now, not only are you uncomfortable again, but you’re frustrated and confused, wondering why the good feelings didn’t last. The same thing happens with your habits.

You feel good because you’ve been doing the things that make you feel good. When you stop doing them, even just a little. Your body notices, your energy shifts, your mood, your sleep, your cravings. And instead of seeing it as cause and effect, we often turn it into a story about how we must be doing it wrong. Or I’m lazy or something’s wrong with us.

But it’s not that the method didn’t work, it’s that your brain being completely efficient, that it is, quietly decided to stop doing the thing that was helping. And your body noticed.

Now, here’s the hard part. For some of us, this realization can bring up resistance, maybe even resentment. That thought of, ‘wait, I have to do this forever,’ and I get that. It can sometimes feel like a lot. But what if we got curious about that thought instead of judgmental? What if we explored that reaction gently, like, ‘huh, that is so interesting.’

Why does the idea of continuing this feel heavy or unfair? What are you associating it with? Punishment. Perfectionism. Diet culture.

When we can get honest about where the resistance is coming from, we can start untangling it. Because the goal isn’t to be perfect forever. The goal is to feel good, to live well, to be in relationship with yourself in a way that’s grounded and healthy, not rigid.

Maintenance isn’t a punishment. It’s a practice of continuing to care for yourself even when things are good. Once you understand this pattern, how your brain tries to make things easier, the minute you start feeling better, it gives you so much power.

Because now, instead of falling out of the game when life gets full or motivation dips, you can recognize what’s happening and course correct sooner. You don’t need a brand new plan. You don’t need to start over. You don’t even need more discipline.

What you need is support to keep doing the things that are already working for you. And that’s the real skill of maintenance. Not perfection, not pushing harder, but learning how to parent your habit with compassion and consistency. And yes, that takes a lot of effort, but it’s a different kind of effort. It’s steadier, it’s kinder, it’s less dramatic and more rooted.

This is what I help my clients with every single day. We don’t just build habits; we build the systems that keep those habits going. We look at your real life, your patterns, your season, and we adjust. We name when the cocky syndrome shows up. And we laugh about it. We deal with it, and we move forward without shame.

If you are feeling like, ‘yes, this is me,’ but you’re not sure what to do next or where to focus, I’ve created something that can help. It’s called the Listeners Guide. And it’s a free resource that can help you figure out which episodes to listen to base on where you are right now. Whether you’re stuck in all or nothing cycle or struggling with consistency or just looking to feel better in your body. There is something there for you.

Because sometimes, you don’t need to start from scratch. You just need the right reminder at the right time. So, you can download the guide at elizabethsherman.com/roadmap, and that link will be in the show notes.

It’s completely free and it’s a great way to take the next step without feeling overwhelmed. Because you are not starting over, you’re just continuing on purpose this time.

If you’ve been testing the limits lately, and it’s starting to catch up with you, I want you to hear this. You haven’t failed. You’re not back at square one. You’re not broken. You’re just human. You’re learning, you’re adjusting, and you’re growing. You can absolutely, get back to feeling good without shame, without beating yourself up, and without burning it all down and starting over.

That is what growth actually looks like. It’s not perfect. It’s an upwards climb. It’s full of little dips, pauses, and reroutes. And every single time you notice it, every time you catch yourself and choose to reengage, you build more self-trust. You show yourself; I can do this. I am doing this.

So, be gentle with yourself. Give those habits a little more attention. Check in with what you need right now, not what you needed a month ago or three years ago. And most of all, remember you’re not alone in this. You’re part of a community of women who are figuring it out just like you. Women who are learning how to care for themselves in a way that lasts.

Alright. That’s all I have for you today. Thank you for being here with me today. I will talk to you next time. Bye-bye.

Hey, so if you’ve been nodding along and thinking, okay, I know what to do, Elizabeth, I’m just not doing it. I have got something for you. It’s my free podcast listener’s guide. It’s a curated roadmap to help you get started with the most helpful episodes based on exactly what you need right now. Go to elizabethsherman.com/roadmap and take the guesswork out of where to begin with the Total Health and Midlife podcast.